


Amends

by thdancingferret



Series: Amends [1]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-04-06
Updated: 2004-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 47,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thdancingferret/pseuds/thdancingferret





	1. Chapter 1

Morning found Lex in his office, staring blearily at his computer screen.

When he was younger, Lex had never been a morning person. Mornings were for crawling into bed after a long night of partying to pass out until the afternoon had long since commenced. Necessity had changed that when he'd finally assumed his place in Luthorcorp and self-discipline had made it natural now that he was CEO of his own rising company.

Not that he enjoyed getting out of bed before the sun had risen. No, that hadn't changed but the reasons behind his dislike of mornings had. Now mornings meant having to untangle himself from a still sleeping Clark before slipping quietly into the shower. Mornings were a soft kiss on a slightly stubbled cheek and moments indulged in staring down at the exhausted figure sprawled across the bed while Lex breathed a silent prayer of thanks for the man who'd become the other half of who he was. The half he couldn't do without. Mornings were having to force himself to rise and turn away, to climb into the penthouse's private elevator with only one look backwards, before descending to the waiting car that would bring him to the LexCorp building for yet another long day in meetings and teleconferences.

Lately, mornings came accompanied by a tension headache, one brought on by muscles taut from waiting sleeplessly in bed for Clark to complete his patrol for the night and return to his side. In the five years that they'd been living together, Lex had never been able to fall completely asleep until he knew that his lover was safe again. It might be incredibly difficult to hurt Superman, but it was still possible. So Lex fought the heavy pull of exhausted lids until he felt familiar weight dip the mattress beside him and a strong arm slide gently across to curl across his waist. No words spoken, just the soft brush of lips across his own and then Clark's head drifting down to rest against the curve of his neck and Lex could finally close his eyes again.

In the beginning, Clark had tried to tell Lex that he didn't need to wait up for him to come home. Lex had responded by asking Clark if he would be able to sleep if their roles were reversed. The topic had never been broached again. Instead, Clark had tried to complete his patrols as quickly as possible, but the increase of crime in Metropolis had seen a corresponding rise in the need for Superman and early nights were a rarity.

Last night had been no exception and Lex had fallen asleep at the first touch of Clark's arm.

The buzz of the intercom brought Lex out of his daze with a snap and he rubbed a hand across his face before pressing the button.

"Yes, Shari?"

"Clark's on line two." Lex looked at his watch - 9:05 a.m. Like clockwork.

"Thank you, Shari." A deep breath to shove the exhaustion back and Lex picked up the receiver.

"Clark..."

"I'm so sorry, Lex." The misery and guilt in Clark's hushed voice was like a punch to the gut. It always was. Lex exhaled slowly.

"Clark, you have nothing to apologize for. I understood what was involved when I signed on for the duration." Softly spoken, soothing words that held all the conviction Lex could place in them. A long silence followed by the shaky sigh that meant Clark wasn't about to be placated so easily.

"It was our anniversary, we were going to celebrate on the balcony with dinner and candlelight. But then..." Clark's trembling voice trailed off and Lex felt his chest tighten in sympathy.

"I know, Clark, I know. It's OK." Lex had read the paper on his way into work this morning and the fire that had engulfed the apartment complex had been enormous. The police and firemen were crediting Superman with the fact that there were any survivors at all.

"I don't know why you put up with me." Some of the misery had left Clark's voice and Lex felt the vise around his chest loosen a little.

"Because I love you, idiot." Contrary to both their expectations, Lex had never found those words difficult to say. Not to Clark, not after he'd seen the answering expression radiating from the younger man's face. A soft snort from the phone brought Lex's attention back to the present.

"So eloquent, Lex." There it was, the sound of a smile finally creeping back into that deep voice and Lex could breath again.

"I learned from the best." This time his words were answered with a chuckle and Lex's own lips curved into a smile.

"Yeah, I know. Look, why don't you meet me for lunch? Say, 12 o'clock?"

"I can't, I have a meeting with Bettincour Industries at 12 - how about 2 instead?"

"Damn it, I can't. Perry wants me and Lois to interview Councilman Allen to find out what his intentions are to curb the rising crime rate. By the time we get back and write up the article..." Lex could hear the smile already dimming on Clark's face and he responded quickly.

"Hey, it's OK. I have a few proposals I need to work on this afternoon anyway. Raincheck for tomorrow?" His words were met by the muffled sound of someone shouting and Clark's frustrated sigh.

"Listen, Lex, I have to go. Perry's having a coronary about something. I'll see you tonight, ok? Promise. Love you."

"Love you too, Clark." The words were barely out of his mouth before the dial tone was ringing in his ear. Exhaling quietly, Lex gently replaced the receiver in its cradle and turned back to his computer.

No, he was definitely not a morning person but he would be whatever he needed to be, for both of them.

 

*********

 

Lex barely heard the soft click as the passkey disengaged the lock on the door to the penthouse, one hand busy loosening the tie about his neck and face drawn with exhaustion from a day filled with meetings that went on too long and subordinates who never stopped clamoring for his attention. Slow, confused blink at the unusually dim lighting, and he opened his mouth to call out. A blur of movement and then.

The hard lines of a familiar body pressed him into the door behind him, the crush of lips against his own that swallowed his soft gasp of surprise. A gasp that changed to a strangled moan as possessive hands roamed across his jaw and down his neck to his chest, pulling the tie from his collar as a thickly muscled thigh was pressed insistently between his own shaky legs. Momentary prayer of thanks that at least *one* of them was strong enough to hold him upright before he found his head being tilted back and sharp teeth begin to nip at the curve of his neck.

"Clark... aren't you supposed to be... oh god... patrolling?" Clark's lips leave his skin only briefly to respond.

"I decided to call it an early night to make up for yesterday."

Then the sudden flare of heat as blood vessels broke beneath the renewed onslaught of that hungry mouth strangled any further questions in his throat and he could hear himself whimpering into the almost silence. Almost, except for the wet sucking sounds and ragged breathing that had robbed him of any thought save one.

"Clark..." A desperate buck of his hips against the slow, teasing grind against his achingly hard cock and the words were gone again. Rational thought followed them right out the window when Clark dropped to his knees before him and talented fingers went to work on his belt. He managed to drag a single gulp of air into rapidly working lungs as cool air hit sensitive skin.

Wet, volcanic heat. Welcoming, unrelenting tightness took him in and drew him down in a single, practiced motion. Tightened lips drew back slowly, he could hear himself begging incoherently, before they dove right back down again. Narrow, pale hips thrust in quickly shattered rhythm and his fingers found their way to twine in damp hair. Desperate attempt to anchor himself, to make it last, but he could already feel the liquid rush building along his spine. A particularly skillful curl of the tongue and that was it. He was vaguely aware of screaming as the world was obliterated by his orgasm, and then everything went dark.

He came to some time later to find himself being cuddled under warm sheets, with gentle fingers traced his face and smoothed across his chest. Had to swallow several times before he could manage to make his throat form actual, coherent words.

"That... was... mmm... nice. But... it's early, what happened to patrolling? Not that I'm complaining, mind you..." The warm puff of laughter against his bare scalp and then the comforting rumble of Clark's voice.

"I did a few quick sweeps but the city's pretty quiet. I figured it could do without me for one night and well... I missed last night and I wanted to make it up to you."

Clark's voice had gotten softer as he finished speaking and Lex shifted until he could press his face into warm skin. Placing a gentle kiss against the pulse of Clark's neck, he shook his head.

"You make it up to me every day, Clark, just by being here." The arms holding him tightened and Lex let his eyes drift shut. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he fell asleep before midnight.

 

*********

 

Weak sunlight against his eyelids brought a smile to Lex's face and he stretched slowly, only to let the smile fade into a frown when his arm encountered the bare space beside him. Opening his eyes to find the room empty and the shower silent, he threw the sheets off and grabbed for his robe. It might be Saturday and he might have slept in a little, but Clark almost never woke before him. Ignoring the sudden warning bells clamoring in his head, he didn't bother to tie the sash as he opened the bedroom door to call out for his lover.

"Clark?" The faint rustle of paper from the living room at the end of the hallway was the only response to reach his ears and Lex quickly hurried towards it.

The first thing he saw was Clark's bowed shoulders from over the back of the leather sofa, tension radiating from the other man's stillness. The lack of response, of any indication that Clark was aware he was there sent a shiver down his spine. Something was very, very wrong.

"Clark?" He didn't bother to hide the concern in his voice, not with fear pounding his heart against his ribcage. Rounding the edge of the sofa slowly, he felt it seize up at the sight of silent tears streaking their way down Clark's face and the newspaper clenched tightly in his fists.

"I heard it happening, Lex. I could have stopped it." The raw pain in Clark's voice broke his paralysis and Lex found himself beside him in an instant, one arm reaching out to draw Clark to him. For a moment, his actions were met with resistance and then Clark broke. A ragged sob choked its way out and then a wet face was buried against his shoulder as that broad frame threatened to shake apart.

"I could have stopped it, but I'd heard it before and I thought... I didn't think she was being hurt this time... I just wanted to get home... to surprise you..." Running a soothing hand up and down Clark's back, Lex slowly pulled the twisted paper from his hands and spread it on his lap. He had to close his eyes after the first few sentences.

'Prostitute found brutally murdered in apartment on Lower East Side... Traumatized child taken in by Child Services... No other family... No witnesses found...'

Letting the paper fall to the floor, Lex wrapped both arms around Clark and held him close.

"Oh Clark... You can't be everywhere, you're not responsible for every act of sick violence in the world. Shhh, it's not your fault..."

"It *is* my fault, Lex! If I'd only stopped to check it out, that woman would still be alive... that little boy wouldn't have... wouldn't have lost..." Renewed sobs strangled the words in Clark's throat and Lex tightened his arms, rocking him gently.

"I have to fix it, Lex... I don't know how, but I have to fix it..." The whisper was barely audible, filled with overwhelming guilt, and Lex found himself nodding his head slowly. His own voice solid and comforting, despite the pain in his chest. The need to take the despair from Clark's voice as involuntary as breathing.

"Whatever it takes, Clark, I promise." He could only hope it was a promise he could live up to.


	2. Chapter 2

After his tears had finally exhausted themselves, Clark didn't collapse into sleep as Lex had hoped. Instead, he slowly disentangled himself and rose to his feet, eyes carefully averted, before stumbling off to the bathroom. Listening to the sound of running water and knowing what was coming next, Lex rubbed a tired hand over his scalp and waited.

Sure enough, when Clark reentered the room, he was no longer wearing the loose sweatpants and t-shirt Lex had found him in. Gone was the soft grey, replaced by vibrant red and blue. Colors that made Lex want to flinch in protective anger and pain, even as he forced that reaction back down.

"Clark..."

"I... I probably won't be back until late. Don't wait up for me." Ignoring the stab of pain those words provoked, Lex concentrated on keeping his hands from curling into fists at his side.

It wasn't Clark he wanted to lash out at, it was all the senseless violence and cruelty in the world that was slowly tearing his lover apart. No matter how much it made his stomach churn with acid, no matter how much he wanted to scream his frustration at the world, lashing out was a reaction he'd long since learned was pointless. The best he could do was be there to pick up the pieces and put him back together again as best he could.

The sound of footsteps, the creak of the doors to the balcony being opened and then a pause, head bowed and red cape billowing silently around the still figure.

"I have to, Lex. I have to do something..." Raw words begging for understanding, for forgiveness, where there was no need.

"Go, Clark. I'll always be here when you come home." A soft shudder of breath, a weak nod, and then he was alone. Breathing out slowly as his back straightened, Lex turned to his briefcase and slipped out his cellphone.

"Shari? Good morning, sorry if I woke you but something's come up. I need the telephone number for the social worker in charge of a new case at Child Services..."

 

*********

 

The sun was beginning its slow ascent into the sky when Clark silently climbed into bed and curled on his side with his back to Lex. A long moment of stillness, and then Lex shifted to mold himself to that broad back, one hand pressed to Clark's chest while the other gently stroked the dark locks plastered to his brow. Another long moment in which there was no reaction from the other man and then, finally, thick fingers crept up to wrap tightly around his own and Lex could feel dampness beginning to seep into the pillowcase beneath his fingers. Tightening his grasp and wishing he could offer more than just wordless comfort, Lex bent his head and pressed a soft kiss to the back of Clark's neck.

"Get some rest, Clark." He closed his eyes but refused to allow exhaustion to claim him until he heard Clark's breathing even out into fitful sleep. Only then did he finally give in and let himself follow.

 

*********

 

Sunday was no different. Lex awoke to an empty bed with Clark long gone. He spent the day on the phone, rearranging his schedule and pushing off meetings until the following week. Calling his secretary and badgering her until he finally had the contact information he needed, and then thanking her profusely and promising to let her enjoy the next few days off on company time.

A part of him had serious reservations about what he was attempting to accomplish, but he refused to listen to it. Clark needed to deal with the tremendous guilt and pain he was carrying and some instinctual part of Lex just knew that this would go a great deal further towards accomplishing that end than the terrorizing of worthless criminals that Clark was no doubt engaging in. He would create that chance for Clark and then allow his lover to decide where they were to go from there. It the best he could do for now and it helped him to keep his own feelings of helplessness at bay.

 

*********

 

Again, Clark slipped silently into bed and again, Lex curved himself protectively around him, twining their fingers together as he stroked the other man's hair back from his face. Swallowed slowly and schooled his voice to soft neutrality.

"I called the Planet, Perry won't be expecting you at the office tomorrow." Tension instantly stiffened the body beside him. Long, shaky exhale and then a low, rough voice broke the silence once more.

"Lex?"

"We have an appointment at 10 a.m. with Child Services." The tension in Clark's body skyrocketed and when he responded, his voice was trembling.

"Lex..."

"Go to sleep, Clark. I'll explain in the morning, I promise." Long moment where he feared that Clark was going to refuse and then the tension slowly bled away, leaving sleep to follow quickly in its wake.

 

*********

 

As they rode the elevator to the third floor, Lex glanced sidelong at his companion. Clark was standing beside him, his entire body radiating apprehension and Lex gave his hand a quick squeeze.

"Relax, Clark. Trust me, OK?" A shaky nod and return squeeze, but no verbal response. That morning, Lex hadn't so much explained why they were going to Child Services, as *tell* Clark they were going and reflecting back at how easily the younger man had let go of any argument to the contrary was a definitive indicator of just how deeply he was affected. Still, no matter how passively Clark was following him, Lex could feel the other man's nerves winding tighter as the elevator came to a gliding halt and the doors slid open.

Gently tugging Clark along beside him, Lex approached the receptionist and was quickly assured that Councilor Winters was expecting them and would be along shortly to show them to one of the meeting rooms. Smiling his most charming smile, Lex thanked the woman and then began to point his trembling companion to the nearest chair.

He'd barely gotten them settled when an elderly woman with grey hair and fine wrinkles lining her face breezed into the room and immediately focused on where they sat.

"Mr. Luthor? My name is Janice Winters, I'm the councilor in charge of Brandon's case. I believe we spoke on the phone?" Rising to greet her, Lex nodded and extended the hand Clark didn't have a deathgrip on.

"Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to accommodate us, Ms. Winters. We're very grateful." The social worker shook her head and smiled tiredly.

"Nonsense, Mr. Luthor. Sadly, Brandon's case isn't the first one of its kind and if there's anything that you can do to help the boy, then I'm at your disposal. Is this Mr. Kent?" When her gaze slid past him to where Clark was sitting frozen in his chair, Lex wasn't surprised to see it soften. Clark seemed to have that effect on just about everyone, himself included.

"Yes, it is. Clark?" At the gentle prompting, Clark shook his head and rose quickly to his feet, releasing Lex's hand to extend his own to the social worker.

"Clark Kent, Ms. Winters. I'm very pleased to meet you." Despite the slight tremble in his voice, Clark's politeness was met by a pleased twinkle in Ms. Winters eye.

"Please, you're both making me feel terribly old - call me Janice." Once Lex and Clark had both smiled in agreement, the teasing vanished from Janice's face and was replaced by a sad, grim expression.

"I must warn you both, we're still not sure if it's due to the trauma or if it's due to some form of congenital disorder, but Brandon doesn't speak. To anyone. He's remarkably well behaved, very docile and obedient, responds to direction easily. He's not autistic, that much we've determined. He's aware of everything around him, but he won't make eye contact or any attempt at speech." When the elderly woman's lips grew tight and pinched, Lex felt his own stomach knot in apprehension.

"There's also the distinct possibility that Brandon was abused. There are scars on his body that certainly point to that, that much I'm sure of. Whether it was at the hand of his mother, or one of her... customers, that I don't know. He's also malnourished and underweight for his age." As they came to a stop outside a pair of swinging doors, Lex could just make out brightly painted walls and shelves of toys and children's books over Janice's shoulder, before she turned to face them.

"I thought it only fair to warn you that Brandon is going to need even more kindness and patience than most children, if he's going to recover fully. Not many couples are interested in adopting children with special needs, but you seemed very sure on the phone, Mr. Luthor." Lex felt Clark's hand jerk in his at the word 'adoption' and he tightened his grasp until the other man's fidgeting subsided.

"Thank you for being so frank with us, Janice, we appreciate it. May we meet Brandon now?" He could see Janice's eyes focusing on the pale face of the man beside him and Lex wasn't surprised when she confirmed it out loud.

"Is Mr. Kent feeling all right?" Shifting to face Clark himself, Lex wasn't surprised either to find his companion's eyes drilling wide-eyed holes in him. Smiling lopsidedly, he ran a reassuring hand down Clark's arm and returned his gaze to Janice with a shrug.

"He's fine, he's just nervous." Janice's expression softened in understanding and she gave Clark a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"There's nothing to be nervous about, Mr. Kent. You seem like a very kind young man to me and I trust my instincts. Children respond to that kindness." Clark exhaled audibly and some of the tension left him at Janice's words. Shifting from one foot to the other, he ran a hand through his hair before clearing his throat.

"I... I'd like to ask you some more questions, if I could. Before... before meeting Brandon?" Linking her arm through Clark's, Janice smiled and patted his hand as she nodded.

"Of course you can ask questions, Mr. Kent. Why don't we talk out here while your partner introduces himself?" Lex blinked at her words. That hadn't quite been in his plans but he was nothing if not adaptable. If Clark needed to talk to the social worker first to feel more comfortable, then Lex would just have to take that in stride. Ignoring, of course, the small fact that he had very little direct experience with children...

"Is that all right with you, Mr. Luthor?" Nodding, Lex forced a smile to his face.

"Please, call me Lex. And of course it's all right." When Janice motioned for him to go ahead through the doors, Lex slowly pushed one open and stepped inside. Wondering for the first time just how bright an idea this was. It was for Clark's sake that he was doing this, to help Clark. He hadn't fully realized that it would also entail his participation as well, that Clark wouldn't be the only one interacting with the little boy. It wasn't that children scared him. No, it was that... Well, he didn't quite know how to act around them and that made him a little uncomfortable.

Shaking his head to clear it of the sudden misgivings that had sprung up, Lex's eyes focused unerringly on the small figure hunched over a children's table, scribbling on some paper with what appeared to be crayons. Shaggy, badly cut hair on a head that didn't even look up at his entrance. Taking a deep breath, he slowly strolled over to the table and crouched down beside the little boy. Cleared his throat and tried to keep his voice as soft and unthreatening as possible when he spoke.

"Hello there, Brandon, my name is Lex. Ms. Winters said it was OK if I came in and visited with you for a little while. Is that OK with you?" For a moment, Lex wasn't sure the boy was going to respond at all. Then, a quick, furtive glance in his direction, and that small head nodded slightly before resuming coloring. Feeling himself relax a little at that small victory, Lex let his eyes trail down to what Brandon was drawing. And almost immediately regretted it.

The backs of each skinny little hand had small, circular scars on them. Scars that the darkness of Lex's past helpfully supplied as burn scars. From a cigarette, too small to be a cigar. Swallowing past the sudden revulsion and rage that rose up inside him, Lex focused on the actual drawing in an attempt to get himself under control before he frightened the boy. What he saw there made his heart tighten in his chest.

Three indistinct stick figures - one lying on the floor in a large splash of red color, the second standing next to the prone figure with a blotch of black crayon where the head should've been. And on the edge of the picture, a tiny figure sitting on the floor with its hands over it's face. Lex had to close his eyes and force himself to keep breathing.

"You must be feeling very lonely here, Brandon." That was definitely not what he'd intended to say, but the small hands stopped moving for a moment before thin shoulders shrugged slightly. Any response was a good one, so he kept speaking, careful to keep his voice pitched low and friendly.

"Are you scared, Brandon?" This time, the bowed head nodded weakly and the hands didn't resume their furious coloring.

"It's OK to be scared, Brandon. I used to be scared all the time after my accident." Almost too fast for him to catch it, Lex saw wide brown eyes from beneath the uneven fringe of bangs and then the boy's head ducked back down again.

"I used to think that people would look at me funny, because I was different from them. That they'd laugh at me." This time, Brandon's head didn't duck back down and Lex knew the boy was staring at his head. One little hand started to hover off the paper, and Lex dipped his head down slowly.

"Go ahead, it's OK if you want to touch it. I don't mind." A fleeting, featherlight touch and then Brandon's hand was back on the paper. But he was still staring back at Lex, as if he were waiting for something. Lex was vaguely aware of soft footsteps behind him and a large hand coming to rest on his shoulder, before Clark crouched down beside him, next to Brandon. Finding his smile a little more easily now, Lex continued.

"A bad thing happened when I was a little older than you, something that made my hair go away. For a long time, I was always frightened. That no one would want me, that I wouldn't fit in. That I wouldn't be safe again. But then I met Clark here and I knew I was wrong." Brandon's eyes flickered to Clark, but then quickly fixed on Lex again. Taking another deep breath, Lex dipped his head further until he was on the same eye level as the little boy.

"Can I tell you a secret, Brandon? It's a very important secret and there aren't a lot of people I'd trust telling it to, but I think it might help you feel a little safer." A wide eyed nod was his only response.

"I'm not scared any more because I have the greatest superhero in the world to protect me. Would you like to meet him, Brandon?" This time, his response was a tightening in the hand on his shoulder and a shaking whisper in his ear.

"Lex, what are you doing...."

"Trust me, Clark. Open your shirt, let him see the suit." A long moment of silence, then Clark's hand slowly left his shoulder and Lex could hear the muted rustling of cloth as the other man reluctantly complied. He knew the instant the familiar symbol was revealed - Brandon's eyes shifted from his face to focus on Clark and went as wide as saucer plates. What he wasn't prepared for was the response.

"Superman..." An awed whisper and then the little boy was hurling himself out of his seat and wrapping his arms around the neck of a shocked Clark.

"Superman..." Brandon's body was shaking now with muffled sobs, and Lex could feel his own eyes stinging slightly. Clark met his gaze briefly before his eyes slid closed. One broad hand came up to rub soothingly across that tiny back as the other man gently lowered himself to a sitting position on the floor and continued to cradle the crying boy.

This time, this time it wasn't hard at all for Lex to find his smile as he watched his lover comfort the child, one hand blindly reaching out to catch hold of his own. No, this time it wasn't hard at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Lex continued to watch as Brandon clung to Clark, the tears beginning to subside as the younger man whispered soothing nonsense into the five year old boy's ear and stroked his back. His mind was already furiously working overtime on what changes would need to be made to one of the extra rooms at the penthouse, new furniture, clothes... toys, the boy would definitely need toys. He'd already had his accountants forward the required proof of financial stability and he wondered how quickly he could have his lawyers prepare the necessary paperwork. And lastly, but certainly not least, he wondered how he was going to separate the two of them now that Brandon had latched onto Clark with such intensity and break the news to Clark that it was highly doubtful the agency would simply let them take Brandon home with them today. There was no sense putting it off any longer. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat softly to gain Clark's attention. Watery green eyes immediately opened to focus on him and he forced a gentle smile to his face.

"Clark, I think perhaps Brandon could use some time to rest now. There's paperwork that needs to be done, and things we'll need to prepare at home first..." He'd expected the wave of sadness that crossed Clark's face at his words, but he hadn't expected the immediate, vehement reaction from Brandon. The little boy's head jerked up and wide, terrified eyes flashed from Clark to him before he began to rapidly shake his head.

"No! Please don't go! I don't want you to go!" One tiny hand wrapped itself in Clark's shirtfront while the other shot out to grab onto Lex's collar. Over the rushing sounds in his ears, Lex could barely make out the litany of "don't go" that was tearily being mumbled into Clark's chest. Blinking rapidly and trying in vain to think of some way to ease the boy's mind without breaking his heart, Lex was surprised by the sound of a throat being cleared behind them. Twisting as much as he could in his present position, he found Ms. Winters standing a few feet behind them, her mouth opened in shock.

"I don't believe it, he's..." Speaking? Clinging to my boyfriend? Superman? Lex's mind was in a panic trying to figure out what exactly she was referring to, unease at what she might have overheard twisting his stomach into knots. Shaking her head in wonderment, Janice's eyes finally focused on Lex's slightly narrowed gaze and her head gave a small tilt towards the doors.

"Mr. Luthor? If I might have a moment with you..." Nodding his head slowly, Lex gently disengaged Brandon's fist and stood. Casting one last look down at Clark, a small smile on his face in response to the pleading expression there, he turned and followed the elderly woman out into the hall.

"Mr. Luthor, let me be frank with you." Tucking his hands into his pockets to avoid giving away just how tense he was, Lex motioned for Janice to continue with a brief nod of his head.

"I initially had some reservations about adopting Brandon out to a gay couple. Not because I believe either of you wouldn't make good parents," Janice punctuated her words with a shake of her head when Lex's spine instinctively stiffened in response. "But because the trials inherent in being the child of same-sex parents might be more than Brandon could face."

"Ms. Winters, I assure you that..."

"It's Janice, Mr. Luthor, and please allow me to continue before you become defensive?" The amused twinkle in her eyes was the only reason Lex managed to force his mouth shut and give a clipped nod at her request.

"As I said earlier, I trust my instincts, and I believe that, in light of recent events, I'm inclined to believe that both you and Mr. Kent are the best possible match for Brandon. He's responded to you immediately and has quite clearly already formed an attachment to your partner that I am loathe to break. Therefore, I am willing to wave parts of the procedure in order to allow you to take custody of Brandon immediately, on one condition." Lex swallowed past the sudden dryness in his throat at the social worker's words and pasted his most neutral smile on his face.

"The condition being...?" With his words, Janice's expression changed from warning to warm concern.

"Don't just love him because Superman does, Mr. Luthor. A child like Brandon deserves more than that." Lex froze at her damning words. Words that meant she had obviously been present to hear Brandon's revelation of Clark's identity. Words that hit far closer to the truth of what he'd initially set out to do than Lex would ever have imagined. Obviously, he'd vastly underestimated just how perceptive Ms. Winters was.

Dropping his eyes briefly, Lex released a quiet sigh before raising them once more to meet Janice's gaze head on. An openness to his expression the likes of which was usually reserved for Clark.

"Janice, I will admit that, before now, I was thinking purely in terms of how this would benefit... Clark. I think I can honestly say though, that the moment I actually met Brandon, that changed. Your condition has already been met." The pain of forcing himself to be so open to someone he barely knew was almost physical in its intensity, but this wasn't a chess game and subterfuge wouldn't get him anywhere. This was about life and valuing it, something his father had never thought to teach him but that Clark had spent the past 8 years quietly showing him. The squeeze of a hand on his shoulder brought Lex back to the present with a snap and he was relieved to see a smile dawning on Janice's face.

"I'm very glad to hear that, Mr. Luthor. Now, while I draw up the papers that will provide you both with temporary custody of Brandon until more permanent papers can be prepared, why don't you go break the good news?" One more pat on his shoulder and she was turning away down the hall. Lex quickly reached out to grab her arm, his own voice sounding suddenly hoarse and low in the relative quiet of the hallway.

"Thank you, Janice. Thank you." An understanding smile was his only response before she left him staring in the twin windows at the young man seated on the floor, cradling the small child to his chest. Taking a deep breath to get himself back under control, Lex pushed the door open and moved to join them. Clark looked up at him questioningly as he crouched beside them and laid a hand on Brandon's back. Ignoring his lover for the moment, Lex gently turned the little boy to face him and winced internally at the wet cheeks and puffy eyes.

"Brandon? How would you like to come live with Clark and I?" Brown eyes widened and then flickered quickly from Clark's face to his own before the boy cautiously opened his mouth.

"Really? I can come live with you?" Smiling as gently as he knew how, Lex nodded.

"For as long as you like." The boy's head ducked back down and Lex could see him clearly struggling with something. He was about to ask what was wrong when Brandon's head came back up and the words were out in a timid whisper.

"Will you be my daddies now?" Swallowing past the unidentifiable surge of emotion the simple word provoked and the accompanying heartache at the barely suppressed hope in the little boy's voice, Lex nodded again.

"Yes, Brandon. If that's what you want." Seeing the smile that broke across that small face like sunshine was nearly Lex's undoing and he was dimly aware of Clark's hand stealing into his own while Brandon began to speak animatedly.

"Oh, I want that very much! I promise I'll be good, and I'll behave and I won't ever do anything wrong to make you mad. I can be quiet too, my mom... my mom always said that it was important that I be quiet and stay in my room..." The brightness of Brandon's smile began to dim quickly and Lex felt the need to protect someone other than Clark for the first time.

"Hey, it's OK, Brandon. You don't have to be anything but yourself, OK? Now why don't we all go see Ms. Winters and then we can go home." At his words, Brandon nodded eagerly and, setting the boy on one hip, Clark rose slowly to his feet. Lex was about to turn for the door when one large arm reached out to pull him close, a rough whisper tickling his ear as warm lips brushed his cheek.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Clark. Now let's go home."

 

*********

 

The meeting in Janice's office had been quickly followed up by Clark disappearing briefly, only to reappear with a hastily purchased child seat for the limousine. Eyeing the purple dinosaurs dotting the fabric of the seat with a raised brow and twitching lips, Lex shook his head slowly while Clark grinned for the first time in days.

"Sorry, it's all they had in purple."

"Funny, Clark. Very funny. Just hurry up and get it set up. I've already called Shari to get some basic children's clothing sent to the apartment in Brandon's size and all that's keeping us from Toys r' Us is you."

"Have you ever *been* in Toys R'Us, Lex? Are you sure you really want to go there?" He was about to respond to the blatant teasing in Clark's voice when Brandon tentatively interrupted.

"What's Toys R'Us?" Both of them immediately stopped to stare down at the small boy in open mouthed surprise, which resulted in Brandon ducking his head and fidgeting from foot to foot nervously. It was Clark who crouched down next to him and gently brushed the hair back from his forehead.

"You've never been to Toys R'Us, Brandon?" A long moment before the boy responded and Lex could feel his stomach souring at the shyly mumbled words.

"No. Mommy never took me anywhere. She said we didn't have the money for toys, she needed it for medicine..." Lex could only take a guess at just what kind of 'medicine' the dead prostitute had no doubt been referring to and had to physically swallow the unkind words that wanted to leap from his mouth. Fortunately, Clark spoke for both of them.

"Toys R'Us is a very big store, filled with all kinds of toys. We're going to stop there on the way home and you can pick out whatever toys you want, how's that?" Slowly, his chin came up off his chest and Brandon looked at them with wide eyes and trembling lips.

"Any toy I want?"

"Any toy, we promise."

"Thank you, thank you..." The boy's awed whisper was all Lex heard before small arms were wrapping around his knees. Fighting against the inexplicable burning in his eyes, he silently watched Clark rise to his feet again and buckle the child's seat into the back seat of the waiting limo. Once Brandon had been gently untangled from his legs and Clark had finished securing him in the seat to turn to face him, Lex was able to breath past the lump in his throat again enough to speak.

"You're going to spoil him." No conviction at all to the words echoing in his own ears, only a small smile from his lover as Clark moved close enough to run warm fingertips down the curve of his jaw.

"I think he deserves a little spoiling, don't you?" An answering smile finally breaking out on his own face as he shook his head with a chuckle and a hoarse voice.

"Just remember you said it first, when I go a little overboard, OK?" Warm breath of laughter against his ear and then a tender kiss on his lips before he was being pushed towards the car.

"You got it, Lex. Watch your head..." Then Clark was joining him on the back-seat to watch Brandon stare out the window in childish fascination as the driver pulled away from the curb.

It wasn't his head Lex was worried about, it was his heart. But he had a feeling that he wasn't going to regret giving it away for the second time in his life, not if it meant seeing Clark and Brandon both happy. Not when they both kept looking at him with the sort of smiles on their face that made him smile back without hesitation. That was a gift he would never regret.


	4. Chapter 4

Downtown Metropolis boasted the biggest Toys R'Us in all of Kansas. Six floors spanning an entire city block, filled with nothing but toys, toys, toys. A matter of hometown pride that Lex had been blissfully ignorant of until the limousine slowed to a stop and he stared out the window at the brightly colored monstrosity looming above them. Resisting the urge to straighten his thousand dollar dress shirt and fix the collar of his three thousand dollar jacket, he kept his eyes fixed on the mass of families swirling in and out of the revolving doors as cold sweat trickled down the back of his neck.

"I have to go in there, don't I."

"Kind of hard to shop for toys when you don't actually go into the store."

"No, really, it's not. That's what personal shoppers and charge accounts are for, Clark."

"Lex..." Half exasperation, half amusement filled Clark's voice.

"OK, OK. The best approach would be to start at the top and work our way down. I'll... I'll man the cart. You keep a tight hold on Brandon, and for God's sake, don't let him talk to any strangers. Or stick anything in his mouth. Or whatever it is kids are supposed to do when you're not watching them closely enough..."

"Lex, are you panicking?" There was concern beginning to edge it's way into Clark's voice now, despite the teasing tone and that was something that couldn't be allowed.

"I am not panicking, Clark, I am planning." He ignored the soft sound of shifting leather behind him, as he continued to stare out the tinted windows, but he would never have been able to ignore the warm, gentle touch low on his back.

"You don't have to go in there, Lex." Turning to look not at Clark, but at the little boy who had both hands pressed against the window and was currently staring in open mouthed awe at the toy store in front of them, Lex slowly shook his head.

"Yes, I do, Clark." Strangely, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, Lex began to feel calmer. Over the years, he'd done many things that had made him uneasy, all for the sake of Clark. What was one more? Besides, even he, in all his dysfunctional and privileged childhood, had never lacked for toys as a child. The same of which could not be said for Brandon. And that was something Luthor money could easily fix. As for the rest, well... he'd deal with that as he came to it.

Snapping out of his internal reverie to find both Clark and a now freed Brandon waiting for him to move past the open door the driver was patiently holding open for them, Lex curved his lips up in a half smile and stepped out onto the sunlit sidewalk. If he could face Lionel Luthor across a boardroom table, he could certainly handle a few hours in a toy store.

 

*********

 

The sixth floor started off safely enough and netted a remote control driven Ferrari that, despite Clark's insistence that Brandon was probably too young to fully appreciate, still made its way into the cart. The remainder of the floor was mostly devoted to video games and even Lex conceded that those were probably a bit too advanced. But not a complete write-off for future birthdays. And Christmas.

 

*********

 

The fifth floor was stocked with toys designed for infants and toddlers, along with an assortment of garishly colored carriages and strollers. They both agreed that Brandon was probably old enough *not* to need one of those, and Lex breathed a private sigh of relief.

 

*********

 

The fourth floor proved the most interesting so far, to Brandon at least, since it was filled with a wide array of stuffed animals and action figures. When Brandon couldn't decide between a stuffed polar bear and a more traditional teddy bear, both went into the cart. Midway down one isle, Brandon screeched to a halt and lifted one hand to point at a shelf above his head.

"Can I?" Lex managed to swallow the snickers that were threatening to erupt at the sight of the plastic wrapped figurine and nodded as he pulled one of the shelf.

"Of course, Brandon." He was only slightly successful in covering up his laughter with a coughing fit at Clark's petulant mumbling.

"It doesn't even *look* like me..."

 

*********

 

The third floor was a little boy's dream come true - aisle upon aisle of every size of toy car and truck imaginable. A racing car set that Clark wistfully remarked reminded him of the one he'd had as a child was first to make it into the cart. To be followed closely by a dump truck, a shiny red Ford pickup truck, and a miniature Porsche.

"Really, Lex, could you get any more symbolic?"

"Hey, I happen to have a certain fondness for some of these cars... and besides, Brandon likes them." Brandon, who hadn't stopped grinning since they'd entered the store, nodded emphatically at the mention of his name and Clark gave up arguing with a low chuckle.

 

*********

 

The second floor was devoted primarily to educational toys, with a healthy section solely composed of building blocks, lincoln logs, and erector sets. This time, Brandon was the first to react, reaching for the deluxe lincoln log set before pausing to look up at them.

"Can I?" At their encouraging nods, he clutched the set to his chest tightly, hopping from foot to foot. "I always wanted these. I saw them on the tv once, before it got broke."

When Brandon wasn't looking, another set made it's way into the rapidly filling cart.

 

*********

 

Back on the first floor, Brandon's fidgeting was rapidly growing worse and Clark was the one to finally crouch down and ask him what was wrong.

"I have to go potty." Feeling monumentally stupid for having missed such a basic tenet of child care, Lex all but shooed a sheepish Clark off to the restroom with the little boy.

"Go ahead, take him. I'll stay with the cart." Rubbing the bridge of his nose to ward off the headache he could already feel building, Lex gradually became aware of the not-so-subtle whispering going on behind him.

"I swear, Samantha, I don't understand why they let people like *that* adopt children." Exhaling slowly, Lex was willing to let the remarks pass until the woman's companion chimed in her two cents.

"Oh I agree, Betty! I mean, it's just not *natural*. They're faggots, for god's sake, how can they allow them to be parents?" At the word 'faggots', Lex's already tenuous hold on his temper snapped. Turning abruptly, he stalked forward until he was standing directly in front of the two surprised women.

"Firstly, ladies - and I use that title *very* loosely - God had nothing to do with it. Secondly, they allow people like my partner and myself to become parents after a lengthy screening process to determine that we're capable of being *good* parents. Sadly, they have yet to figure out a way to prevent genetic throwbacks such as yourselves from indiscriminately breeding." It took a moment for his words to sink in before the two women realized they were being insulted, at which point Lex had already returned to the cart and a waiting Clark and Brandon.

"What happened?" Clark was eyeing the spluttering women with wariness, one hand tightly wrapped around Brandon's, the other clenching the front of the cart.

"Nothing, Clark. Let's just go. I'll bet someone's probably pretty hungry by now - what do you say to McDonald's on the way home, Brandon?" A blissfully ignorant Brandon began hopping up and down in excitement at the proffered treat, while a suspicious Clark stared at Lex stubbornly.

"Let it go, Clark. We'll discuss it later." Sighing heavily, Clark nodded once before picking Brandon up as they made their way towards the checkout lines.

Lex decided that Toys R'Us wasn't all it was cracked up to be after all.

 

*********

 

The remainder of the day was spent showing Brandon the room that was to be his, once the decorators had wallpapered and the furniture Lex had hurriedly ordered arrived. Helping the little boy carefully unpack all of his toys and find just the right spot for them throughout the room turned into an hours long task. Brandon was still treating the idea of his very own room (not to mention one so large) with awe and apparently wanted to make sure he had everything just the way he wanted it.

Of course, there were liberal time-outs to test drive the remote controlled car up and down the uncarpeted hallways of the penthouse, followed by a competition to see who could build the tallest lincoln log tower without it collapsing. An early dinner of spaghetti and meatballs (apparently Brandon's favorite meal), gave way to Clark and Lex sprawled on the couch, watching the little boy create walls of blocks, only to drive the red truck right through them and start all over again.

When Brandon began to quietly rub his eyes in between building sessions, and Lex's own eyelids were beginning to droop, Clark announced it was bedtime. Having already decided that Brandon would probably feel safest at first sharing their master bed, Lex caught the sweatpants and T-shirt Clark tossed him with an amused smile.

"I'll help Brandon brush his teeth and change into his new pajamas while you get changed and turn the bed down. I'll change while you two are getting settled."

Brandon was already asleep by the time Clark joined them, stomach down on the bed with one small arm thrown over Lex's chest as he lay on his back. Curling on his side with Brandon between them, Clark gently brushed the hair back from the boy's face before tucking the covers around him. Looking up to find a smiling Lex watching him, Clark blushed slightly and smiled back.

"He's something else, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is... You don't regret what I did this morning then? Ambushing you like that?" Clark shook his head slowly, letting his arm curl over Brandon's head to trail his fingers across Lex's cheek.

"No, I don't regret it. How could I? But... I have to admit, I'm scared, Lex. What if we mess up?"

"I'm scared too, Clark, but we won't mess up. We'll do what any other parent does - the best we can. And for the parts that we don't know, we'll ask your mother." Stifling his laughter before it could wake the sleeping child between them, Clark leaned over and brushed Lex's forehead tenderly with his lips.

"I love you, Lex Luthor. More every day."

"And I love you, Clark Kent. Now get some rest because I have a feeling sleeping in is a thing of the past." Reaching out with one arm to turn off the bedside lamp, Lex let the darkness wash over him and fell asleep with a smile on his face.

 

*********

 

The first thing Lex slowly became aware of was the fact that he was wet. And cold. Wet, cold and smelling distinctly of urine. Fumbling for the light, he sat up abruptly. The space between him and an oblivious Clark was empty, the damp, soiled sheets the only evidence that Brandon had been there at all. Swallowing the curse down that wanted to spill out, Lex called out for the little boy instead. He almost didn't hear the muted whimper that came from the crack under the bathroom door. The bathroom door he'd definitely left open before getting into bed, with the light off. Throwing the sheets back, Lex shook Clark with one hand as he swung his legs off the bed.

"Clark, wake up!" Almost instantly, Clark was sitting upright with a panicked expression on his face.

"What?!" Climbing to his feet and moving for the bathroom, Lex pointed at the telltale stain in the middle of the bed.

"Looks like someone had an accident. Flip the mattress and change the sheets while I go see what he's doing in the bathroom."

That said, Lex slowly swung open the bathroom door while calling reassuringly to the boy inside.

"Brandon? Are you OK?" What he saw when he opened the door didn't fully register for a second. And when it did, he felt sick to his stomach.

A naked Brandon was frantically trying to pull tissues over the crumpled pajamas he'd stuffed in the waste basket. When he realized Lex was there, staring down at him, he immediately backpedaled into the corner and dropped to a crouch, both arms raised protectively over his head.

"I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!! I didn't mean to be bad!! Please don't hurt me!! I promise I'll be good!! I promise!!" The terrified sobbing cut right through Lex like nothing else ever had before and, before he was aware of what he was doing, he was on his knees on the cold tile floor, with a quivering boy crushed to his chest.

"Shhh, shhh... you didn't do anything wrong... it's OK, Brandon, we're not mad at you... no one's going to ever hurt you again... it's OK... it's OK..." The words were tumbling out without thought, the automatic urge to comfort and soothe something that didn't even register as anything but normal. Necessary. While some dark, enraged part of him was incredibly thankful that the boy's mother was beyond his reach...

It took Lex several minutes of repetitive reassurance before the sobs changed to hiccups and Brandon finally fell asleep again from sheer exhaustion. Without a word, a glassy eyed Clark helped Lex maneuver limp arms and legs into fresh pajamas and then into bed.

Once they were under clean, dry sheets, both of them turned on their sides to encircle Brandon in a warm embrace. Lex let his forehead rest against Clark's, while his lips brushed against a small head. After a long moment spent bringing his breathing back to normal, Lex's pained whisper finally broke the silence.

"Clark..."

"I know, Lex, I know."

No more words, but they both lay awake long into the remainder of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

The faint shimmer of light against his lids brought Lex swimming to the surface of awareness slowly. Rubbing away the gritty remnants of sleep, he opened his eyes to find himself alone in the bed. Frowning slightly, he was in the process of pushing the covers back when the door to the bedroom slowly swung open. Just as slowly, Brandon walked into the room, a breakfast tray held carefully before him with both eyes fixed on the floor, with Clark hovering behind him. Lex's eyes flicked up to Clark's face, but the other man's gaze was focused on Brandon's progress, obviously ready to avert any potential accidents if the tray got to be too much for the little boy to carry.

Shifting quickly backwards until his back was resting against the headboard, Lex kept a smile on his face as he let Brandon awkwardly settle the tray on his lap. Eyeing the plate of slightly burned toast and the small glass of orange juice, Lex's voice was carefully light as he met the boy's anxious eyes, before shifting his own gaze to Clark and letting his eyes do the questioning.

"Wow, this is a really nice surprise. Breakfast in bed. Thank you, Brandon." When the boy visibly relaxed at the warm praise, Lex patted the bed beside him in invitation. Keeping a tight grip on the tray as Brandon climbed over his legs to sit in the middle of the bed, Lex looked up as Clark spoke.

"I found him in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to make breakfast. So we wouldn't think he was... 'useless'." The odd choice of words let Lex know that they had come from the boy's own mouth and he felt his expression sag slightly in confusion.

"Useless? Why would we think..." The words died in his mouth as his brain finally came fully online and Lex couldn't prevent the grimace that twisted his face in response to the myriad of possible scenarios that ran through his mind. Probable scenarios. Looking up to find a grim faced Clark staring back at him, Lex shifted his gaze to Brandon and flinched to find the boy's brown eyes downcast, both small hands twisting in the edges of his pajama top.

Forcing his own hands not to shake with the anger that was now simmering inside of him, Lex carefully moved the tray to the night table and patted his lap, keeping his voice gentle.

"Hey, c'mere..." A moment of hesitation where Brandon's eyes scanned his face from beneath uneven bangs for something, and then the boy was crawling across the comforter and into his lap, his head resting against Lex's chest while his hands still fidgeted with his shirt.

"We would never, ever think you were useless, Brandon. We brought you home with us because we wanted to be a family, because we want to take care of *you*, not so we could have you make us breakfast in the morning. You don't have to do anything but let us take care of you, OK?" While he was speaking, Brandon's fidgeting had gradually stopped and the boy was now looking up at him with earnest confusion.

"But I have to make you breakfast. You're the ones who go out and earn the money that keeps the roof over our head so we don't wind up on the street, living in a box." Eerily parroted words that made Lex want to either vomit, or lash out and hit something. Settling for tightening his arm and pulling the boy closer to him, Lex shook his head.

"Are you worried about that, Brandon? That you won't have a place to live?" A meek nod and bowed head the only response, Lex put his hand under the boy's chin and gently tilted his head up to face him.

"Well you don't ever have to worry about that either, OK? Clark and I," Lex continued, still unsure of quite how to refer to Clark or himself around the little boy, "we both work because we like what we do. Not because we *have* to. You understand what money is, right?" A moment while the boy appeared to process what he'd said and then a firmer nod.

"We have lots of money. Enough money that we won't ever have to worry about a place to live, or food or clothes or anything. Even if we never worked another day again, you will never go hungry and you will always be safe. Do you understand that, Brandon?" This time, the boy relaxed against Lex and the fear disappeared from his face.

"Yes, sir, I understand. But..." Again the head dipped down, hesitation creeping back into Brandon's voice.

"You don't have to call me 'sir', Brandon, you can call me whatever you want. 'But' what?"

"But what if I want to make breakfast, because you're being so nice to me?" Feeling his throat close up against an unfamiliar burning sensation, Lex was grateful to feel the mattress dip beneath Clark's weight and his lover's voice answered instead.

"You can make breakfast if you *want* to, Brandon, but only if one of us is there to help you, OK?" Easy, gently spoken words, but Lex could hear the undercurrent of emotion in Clark's voice and he looked up to find the other man's eyes focused on him with a trembling smile.

"OK. You said... you said I can call you what I want, right?" Both of them nodded, relieved to see the boy smiling shyly up at them as he spoke.

"That's right. Whatever you want." Again, Clark spoke first, while Lex worked at loosening the knot in his throat.

"Can I call you Daddy? I never... I never had a daddy..." The knot tightened right back up again, but this time it was Lex's hoarse voice that responded.

"We'd like that very much, Brandon, very much. You may not have had a daddy before, but now you've got two to make up for it. How do you like that?" When the boy kneed him in the stomach, Lex had to swallow the grunt of pain. But when small arms wrapped around his neck in a sweet smelling hug, he had to close his eyes and tighten his own arms around the little boy.

"I like it very much... Daddy." Shaking his head and chuckling roughly at hearing his own words played back to him, Lex felt the nearly overwhelming emotion slowly relax its grip as Brandon repeated his actions on a grinning Clark. Grabbing for the tray and pulling it into his now vacant lap, Lex smiled easily for the first time that morning.

"Now why don't you help me finish this great breakfast before it gets cold?" Nodding happily, Brandon climbed over to sit on his knees and pulled a piece of toast off the plate, taking small bites out of the bread while crumbs collected in his lap. Lex paused in the act of reaching for the glass of orange juice as Clark cleared his throat meaningfully beside him. Abandoning the glass to turn his head to his lover, Lex kept his own face carefully neutral at the amused expression he found there.

"I was going to call in sick to work today."

"Mmm hmm?"

"But it appears I'm on vacation this week."

"Mmmm...." Lex couldn't help it, his lips twitched upwards in a small smile at the dry humor in Clark's voice.

"Lex...."

"What?"

"When are you gonna stop taking care of me?" This time the amusement gave way to soft fondness in the familiar words, as Clark shifted to lean against Lex's shoulder.

"Never. Now eat some toast before there's none left."

"There'll always be more toast, Lex."

"But there will never be another you. So eat. Oh, and then you're probably going to want to call your parents." Slight jerk of surprise in the shoulder resting against his, and Lex smiled behind the mouthful of toast he'd just bitten off, winking down at Brandon, who was chewing on his own toast and watching them with avid interest.

"Ah, yeah. You're right, I should tell them before it's all over the news."

"Good idea."

"It was your idea, Lex."

"That's why I said it was good. Toast, Clark. Then shower. Then dress. Then phone."

"You can be such a wisea... uh, wiseguy, Lex, you know that?"

"Watch your language, Clark. And yes, but only because you drive me to it." A playful shove against his shoulder and then a brief kiss to make up for it, as Clark climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. The younger man paused with one hand on the doorjamb, and looked over his shoulder at Lex, with a grin on his face.

"You know, once they get over the shock... I think they're going to like the idea."

"I think you're right, Clark. Especially your mother."

When Clark and Lex had first moved in together, Lex had been surprised at the lack of resistance from Clark's parents. True, Jonathan had been reserved about it, but not downright antagonistic. Had accepted Lex more each passing year, with growing respect for his unflagging devotion to Clark. Martha had hugged them both and wished them well, having long since accepted that Lex would always play a role in Clark's future. And while Lex knew that nothing could ever make the Kents feel disappointed in Clark, he also knew that with Clark in a committed, gay relationship, Martha had seen her hope for grandchildren go down the drain. Something he had always felt a pang of regret over, every time he caught Martha watching the both of them with an air of wistfulness.

"You're right, Mom's going to love it. You realize she's probably going to spoil him worse than we do, Lex."

"Not possible, Clark. Now get moving before the whole day passes us by." Warm laughter cut off by the closing door and Lex looked down to find Brandon gazing up at him with curiosity.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Your grandparents. Do you know what grandparents are?" The little boy frowned slightly before responding hesitantly.

"Mom... Mom said grandparents are cold and heartless and don't give a rat's ass about their grandchildren, or giving their daughters money to take care of the useless brats." The easy smile slipped slightly on Lex's face at the boy's quietly spoken words and again, he found himself wishing he could get his hands on Brandon's mother. Shaking his head, he smiled reassuringly down at him.

"No, your mother was wrong, Brandon. Mr. and Mrs. Kent are Clark's Mom and Dad, and they are very kind, very loving people. I think you'll like them very much."

"OK." Brandon seemed dubious, but accepting nonetheless of Lex's words, and Lex sighed softly. Then his mind skipped back to what the boy had said.

"Oh, and don't say 'ass', Brandon. It's a bad word, OK?"

"But Mom said it all the time."

"I'm sure she did, but Clark and I would like it very much if you wouldn't say it."

"OK, Daddy." Small shrug that spoke volumes about Brandon's lack of understanding but willingness to make them happy. Watching while the boy continued to munch happily on the rapidly dwindling pile of toast, and listening with one ear to the sound of water running in the shower, Lex found himself starting to calculate just how soon they could make a trip out to Smallville to introduce Brandon to his new grandparents and show him that his late mother had been wrong in more ways than one.


	6. Chapter 6

By the time Lex was finished with his own shower, Clark had already selected a pair of new jeans and shirt from the drawer where they'd unpacked the clothes Shari had bought for Brandon. Unusual for most children but normal, perhaps, for Brandon, the little boy was standing still while Clark finished tucking his shirt in and obediently lifted each foot so it could be slid back into ratty old sneakers.

"How do the clothes fit?" Lex asked, running the towel briefly over his head while he searched the dresser for his watch.

"A little loose, but not too bad. He'll grow into them. He really needs new shoes though, Lex. There's more holes in these than actual material..." Not bothering to suppress a smile at the fussing tone in Clark's voice, Lex simply nodded.

"We'll get him a few pairs today. Along with.. ah, perhaps a box of training pants? For night time, anyway. Did you call your parents yet?"

"No, not yet. I figured I'd wait until you were done so you could watch him."

"I'm done now, Clark. Hey, Brandon, what do you say we go into the den and check out some of those toys you got yesterday? Sound like a good idea?" The look of concentration on Brandon's face as he watched Clark finish tying his shoelaces morphed into a grin and he nodded emphatically.

"Yes, please, I'd like that very much!" Surprised, but pleased, when Brandon showed initiative by grabbing onto his hand and tugging him towards the door, Lex chuckled and let the boy lead him down the hallway, an amused Clark following not far behind. Once Lex was ensconced on the couch with the morning paper and Brandon was happily buzzing around the floor with his toys, Lex heard Clark quietly step into the kitchen and pick up the phone.

"Mom? Hi, it's me. What? No, I'm at home. No, nothing happened to Lex, I'm... well, I'm on vacation for the week but... um, Mom? There's something I need to talk to you about."

A brief pause in the conversation, during which time Lex surreptitiously moved a vase away from the edge of the table as Brandon's dump truck ran into 17th century antique wood.

"Lex and I... we've adopted a little boy. Well, we have temporary custody, but we will be adopting him. What? No, Mom, it's not sudden. I... I've thought about it before, and so has Lex. What? No, nothing happened. Mom, I said nothing happened... no, I don't want to talk about it. His name is Brandon, he's five years old and right now, he's driving a tonka truck over Lex's foot. Mom... OK, fine, I love you too. Hold on a minute..." A tap on his shoulder and Lex was looking up at Clark as the other man held the phone out to him.

"She wants to talk to you."

"What?"

"Mom said she wants to talk to you. You'd probably better take it in the kitchen, I'll keep an eye on Brandon." Swallowing past a suddenly dry throat, Lex carefully folded his paper on the coffee table and reached up to take the phone from Clark. He didn't raise it to his ear until he was entering the kitchen.

"Mrs. Kent?"

"Lex, how many times have I told you to call me Martha?"

"I'm sorry, Martha." Wry smile that he couldn't help at the gentle teasing in the older woman's voice.

"How are you, Lex?"

"I'm fine, Martha. Yourself and Mr. Kent?"

"We're both fine... what's this Clark said, about you two adopting?" Pouring juice into a glass he'd grabbed from the cabinet, Lex took a small swallow before clearing his throat.

"Yes, we're in the process of adopting a little boy. Brandon's his name." There was a long pause on the other end of the line and then Martha was speaking again, her voice hesitant but serious.

"Lex, I don't mean to imply anything, but isn't this rather sudden?"

"I'll admit that we hadn't planned on it being quite so soon, but there were mitigating circumstances that made now seem like the right time."

"Mitigating circumstances... OK, what happened, Lex? And don't tell me 'nothing', like Clark did - I'm a mother, I can tell when you're both lying." Running a hand over the back of his head, Lex momentarily debated hedging the truth with Martha, but decided against it. For some reason, he never could bring himself to lie to the woman and God help him when she was direct in her questioning. Like now.

"There was a death. A death Clark feels he could have prevented if he hadn't chosen to... leave work early for the night." Despite having the penthouse routinely checked for surveillance equipment, Lex continued to go out of his way to avoid discussing Clark's alternate identity over the phone line.

"Oh Clark..." The weight of sadness in those few words conveyed Martha's immediate understanding of the depth to which Clark's guilt ran, and Lex was immeasurably grateful not to have to spell it out for her.

"Exactly. In any case, the woman who was murdered was a prostitute. One who left a small boy orphaned. It was tearing Clark apart and I thought... it seemed like the ideal solution to give the boy a new family and to help assuage Clark's guilt at the same time."

"Lex, I know you meant well, but you can't... use a child like that." The chastisement in Martha's voice was gentle, but it still cut right through Lex. A vivid flash of memory to the small boy crouching down and sobbing terrified tears on the cold tile of a bathroom, and his voice came out far sharper than he intended.

"I am not using him, Martha. Trust me when I say that Brandon is in a far better place now then he ever was before. A place where he will be loved and cherished and not..." Clamping his mouth shut on the tirade of emotion that threatened to pour out, Lex closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten. When he could finally breathe again, he heard Martha's voice calling out from the phone clenched in his hand.

"Lex? Lex, are you still there?"

"Yes, Martha, I'm here. My apologies, I didn't intend to speak to you like that."

"No, Lex, don't apologize." Martha's voice was firm in its sincerity and Lex breathed another sigh of relief. "About Brandon... is there something else about the child that you'd like to talk about?" Again, the gentleness - but this time, an open invitation to lean on someone else for a change.

"The social worker told us, when we went to meet him, that they thought he might have been abused. After some of the things he said... some of the things he did... last night and this morning, I have to say I think the word 'abuse' doesn't cover nearly enough in describing what Brandon's been through. When I think about what that... woman put him through, I'd like to... it makes me very angry. And..." A pause, while Lex's unseeing eyes stared at the countertop. "And afraid." When they came, the words were so low, ripped from the pit of his stomach, Lex wasn't sure he'd spoken them loud enough to be heard. Martha's immediate response assured him that he had.

"Afraid? Afraid of what, honey?"

"Afraid that I'm not nearly capable enough of being the kind of father that a boy like Brandon needs. The kind of father that he deserves. I don't doubt for a second that Clark is more than capable, but myself... I haven't exactly had the best role model."

"Oh, Lex. Honey, every father fears those things. When Jonathan and I first brought Clark home, we were terrified that we wouldn't know what to do, that we'd make some terrible mistake and fail as parents."

"How did you deal with that fear?" His whispered words sounded shocking loud and needy to his own ears and Lex winced.

"I don't think it ever really goes away, Lex. Not for any good parent. But you love your child as best you can and you do the best you can to raise them right. And as for your not having a 'good role model', I think you're already leagues beyond Lionel, Lex. Lionel would never have bothered to reach out to the boy in the first place, and he certainly wouldn't have admitted to any fear of inadequacy in raising him. Only someone who loved their child would readily sacrifice their pride to do that. I'm proud of you, Lex. Very proud of you."

Lex didn't know if it was her actual words, or the sincerity behind them, but he found himself rapidly rubbing at burning eyes and clearing his throat several times before he could speak again.

"Thank you, Martha. That means more to me than I can ever say. And just so you know..."

"Yes, Lex?"

"You're probably going to be getting a lot of phone calls for advice." This time, Lex's smile reached his eyes and he could hear the answering one on Martha's face in her response.

"I'll be looking forward to them. Just as I'll be looking forward to meeting my grandson." Lex chuckled at the not so subtle hint and shook his head.

"I was wondering if you and Mr. Kent would be up to having visitors for a few days? The decorators will be coming in today to paint and wallpaper Brandon's room, and I thought both he and Clark could use a trip to Smallville."

"Really? Today? Of course, we'd love you all to come out! I'll fix up the guest room and I have a roast I can put in the oven for tonight..." The excitement in Martha's voice was palpable even over the phone line and Lex's smile grew to a grin.

"Don't worry, Martha, it'll be at least an hour or so before we leave here, and then another two hours to make the drive out there - you'll have plenty of time to prepare."

"Oh hush, Lex, it's not every day I get to meet my grandson!" This time, he couldn't contain his laughter.

"I stand corrected. We'll see you this afternoon then."

"We'll be waiting. Good-bye, Lex."

"Good-bye, Martha."

Lex was still grinning as he hung up the phone and returned to the den. Clark looked up at him with a guilty smile on his face and Lex knew his lover hadn't been able to resist eavesdropping.

"Brandon, how would you like to come with Daddy and I to stay on a real farm for the next few days?"

The little boy's eyes nearly bugged out of his head and he immediately dropped his toys to stand up.

"A farm? With cows and horses and pigs? A real farm?" Clark shook his head, grinning as he climbed to his feet from where he'd been sitting on the floor.

"Well, there are cows, and chickens. Sorry, no horses or pigs."

"Real cows? Can I pet one?"

"Yes, real cows and sure, you can pet one. If you want, I can even show you how to milk one."

"Oh wow!! When can we go? Can we go now? I want to see the cows!" Crouching down in front of the excited little boy, Lex smiled gently at him.

"We just have to pack a few things and then we can leave to go visit Grandma and Grandpa." At those words, Brandon's excitement immediately dimmed and he stopped fidgeting. Again, small hands started worrying at the hem of his shirt where it'd come untucked, and he bowed his head. Growing familiar with Brandon's particular signs of distress, Lex rested one hand on his shoulder and gently tilted his head back up with the other.

"I promise, Brandon, Grandma and Grandpa will not be mean to you or hurt you in any way. They are very nice people, even nicer than Daddy or I, and I think you'll like them very much." Small brown eyes looked at him skeptically from beneath tousled hair.

"You... you promise they won't be mean?"

"I promise, Brandon. So does Daddy."

"No one's as nice as you and Daddy. But if you promise... I'd like to see the farm and the cows. Very much. I'll be good." Forcing a reassuring smile to his face despite the reoccurring urge to throttle the woman who'd made such a beautiful little boy so painfully distrustful, Lex nodded.

"That's all we ask, Brandon. Why don't you and Daddy pick out a few of the toys you want to bring, while I pack our clothes?"

"OK, Daddy." A shorter hesitation this time, ending in a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, and then Brandon's attention was turned to his task of selecting the best toys for the trip. Rising to his feet slowly, Lex looked up to find Clark's eyes focused on him.

"What?"

"I love you, Lex. Just wanted to remind you." The emotion in Clark's face belied the easy tone of his voice and Lex stepped around Brandon to place his hand behind Clark's neck and tug his head down. Placing a soft kiss on slightly parted lips, he smiled back at the younger man.

"It's good to be reminded. Now help Brandon pick out his toys, and I'll get the suitcases ready."

 

*********

 

Due to the need for a back seat, they settled on the Mercedes for the drive out to the Kent farm. By unspoken agreement, Clark drove, leaving Lex to sit in the back with Brandon in his carseat. A Brandon who grew more animated as the urban landscape gave way quickly to green fields and the wave of corn tassels in the early summer breeze.

"Oh!! A cow!! I see a cow!! Is that the farm we're going to, Daddy? Is it?"

"No, Brandon," Clark laughed. "We've got a little ways to go yet before we're at Grandma's and Grandpa's." At the mention of Martha and Jonathan, Brandon grew still again and Lex sighed. Despite his best attempts at reassuring Brandon, it was clear that the little boy didn't quite believe either of them when it came to the subject of grandparents.

"How long is a little ways?" The quiet voice was trembling slightly and Lex reached out to run a soothing hand through the boy's hair, holding up his left wrist in front of him.

"In about a half hour. When this hand on the watch gets to here, that'll be when." Leaving his hand resting on the bar edge of the carseat, Lex let Brandon's small fingers play idly with the wristband of his watch as the boy's eyes now remained focused on the face of Napoleon. Looking up to meet Clark's worried eyes in the rearview mirror, Lex mutely shook his head.

The half hour dragged by, with Brandon growing more and more agitated as the minute hand grew closer to its mark. When there was still five minutes left to go, Clark turned down the lane leading to the Kent home and Brandon's eyes flew up to stare at the house and the two figures already waiting on the porch.

"I don't want to go. Can we go home? Please?" Brandon's voice was shaking badly as the car rolled to a stop and Lex immediately undid the belts holding the boy in his seat. No sooner had he hit the release than Brandon was scrambling across the leather to his lap, burying his face in Lex's shirt. Wrapping his arms around the little boy, Lex pressed a kiss to his temple as he whispered soothingly in his ear.

"Hey... hey, it's OK. They're not going to hurt you, I promise. No one will ever hurt you again, Brandon. It's OK..." He was vaguely aware of Clark climbing out of the driver's seat and then the door next to him was being opened, Martha's excited face looking down at them. Brandon lifted a face damp with tears to see who it was and let out a whimper at the sight of the strange woman looming over them. Martha's eyes widened and Lex shook his head slowly as he carefully climbed out of the car with the child still clinging to him.

"He's afraid of grandparents."

"Afraid of grandparents?" Martha's voice was shocked, the hand that was reaching out to pat Brandon on the back freezing half way. Over her shoulder, Lex could see Clark talking quietly with Jonathan, both of their gazes fixed on Martha, Lex and Brandon.

"Yes. Apparently, his... mother told him stories about grandparents and how mean they were, and they stuck with him." Martha shook her head, her own face pained at Lex's words and she approached slowly, ducking her head down to Brandon's level but making no further move to touch the little boy.

"Oh sweetie, we would never hurt you. We've been so excited to meet you and all we want you to do is have fun here while you're visiting. No one here would ever hurt you, Brandon, we all love you very much." The echo of Lex's words brought Brandon's face away from Lex's chest long enough for the boy to cast furtive glances at Martha.

"You promise?"

"Of course I promise, sweetie." Sniffling slightly and rubbing his eyes with a balled up hand, Brandon nodded slowly.

"OK. Daddy said you have cows..." The tentative hope in the little boy's voice breathed a sigh of relief through Lex. If the child was back to obsessing about the cows, it had to be a good sign.

"Oh yes, we have lots of cows. Why don't we let Grandpa and Daddy... Clark put your things in the house and you, Daddy Lex and I will go see the cows. Would you like that?"

"Yes, please. I'd like that very much." This time, Brandon smiled back at her shyly and raised his head fully away from the comfort of Lex's shirt.

"Oh, what a polite little man!" Martha returned his smile with a wink and Brandon giggled.

"I learned it from Daddy." For the first time in a very long time, Lex felt his face heat with the beginning of a blush as he looked into Martha's gentle eyes.

"I'd say there's a lot of good things you can learn from Daddy. He's a very good man."

"He's very nice, too. So is Daddy Clark. They took me to a very big toy store and bought me a whole bunch of toys!" Relieved to have the boy now chatting so freely with Martha, the fear of grandparents apparently fading into the background if not entirely, Lex still felt embarrassed at being the topic of conversation.

"Didn't you want to see the cows, Brandon?" The boy perked up again at the very mention of the animals and nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh yes! Can we go see the cows now, Grandma?" Martha smiled at Brandon and nodded, her eyes flickering to Lex with amusement before shifting back to the little boy.

"Of course. Then afterwards, you can tell me all about your trip to the toy store while we have a snack." Shaking his head, Lex followed Martha towards the barn and the pasture beyond, listening to the chatter back and forth with a growing smile on his face. Never in his life would he ever have guessed that he'd be so grateful to a herd of cows.


	7. Chapter 7

Lex had been contemplating giving his back a rest and putting Brandon down as they rounded the barn, but as soon as the rather large (albeit, placidly grazing) bovines came into view just beyond the fence, he thought better of it.

It wasn't that he distrusted the cows, exactly. After all, Clark had explained to him on several occasions, that cows didn't bite. That they didn't even have teeth in their upper jaws. Still, Brandon was a very small boy and in his excitement, he might wander too close and get stepped on. Not to mention, considering these were Smallville cows, he wasn't about to completely rule out the possibility of a homicidal cow.

Brandon's face, when he finally laid eyes on the few cows grazing close to the fence, was a mix of wide eyed awe and sudden apprehension.

"Wow... they're really *big*, Grandma..." Small fingers were restlessly twisting and pulling at the collar of Lex's jacket and he gave the boy a reassuring squeeze as Martha responded.

"Yes, Brandon, they are pretty big. But they're very gentle - they don't bite or kick, I promise. Would you like to meet one?" Brandon seemed unsure, glancing first at Lex's face, then Martha's, to finally settle on the cows. Rather than opening the gate, Martha leaned against it and Lex followed, Brandon's grip on his jacket tightening as they neared the fence.

"Do you see that one there? The black and white one?" At Brandon's slow nod, Martha smiled encouragingly.

"Daddy Clark raised that one from a baby when he was still in high school. Do you want to know what he named her?" At the mention of Clark's name, the small boy had relaxed slightly and Lex could see curiosity beginning to win out in his expression.

"It's a girl cow? What did he name her?"

"He named her 'Oreo'." Lex's lips twitched in amusement, while Brandon let a small giggle slip at the innocuous name.

"Daddy Clark named her after a cookie?" Martha winked at the little boy and the last of his reservation seemed to disappear.

"Well, he really likes Oreos, so he thought it was a good name. Would you like to meet Oreo?" At Brandon's enthusiastic nod, Lex had to silently congratulate Martha on her subtle manipulation of the child. By picking a cow with as silly a name as 'Oreo', not to mention a direct tie to one of the few people the boy seemed to trust implicitly, she'd removed the previously threatening animal and left a docile curiosity in its place. Then again, she did have years more experience than Lex in raising a child, so perhaps it was a talent that came with the territory.

"Yes, I'd like to meet Oreo, please." Wearing a pleased smile, Martha unlatched the gate to let them through and then closed it behind them. Leading the way across the short distance of pasture separating them from Oreo, she stood at the cow's lowered head and gently patted its shoulder. The animal didn't respond, simply continued to graze onwards, and Martha motioned for Lex to step closer with Brandon.

Eyeing the cow warily while projecting silent threats of a future as a pair of shoes and a belt if it made so much as one wrong move towards the child, Lex complied and moved close enough for Brandon to reach out with one hand to hesitantly touch the broad sloping back. As soon as his little fingers made contact, the hesitation disappeared and his face split into a happy grin.

"She's so soft! And warm!" Aware of the flick of a no doubt filthy tail against the small of his back, Lex fought not to grimace, smiling instead and nodding at Brandon's wondering words.

"Yes, she is, Brandon. Very soft and warm." Martha's lips were twitching when Lex looked up and he had the distinct feeling that she was enjoying seeing him out of his usual element. His own lips curved upwards and when Martha chuckled and began making noises about returning to the house for a late lunch, Lex's suspicions were confirmed.

Turning as one back towards the house, Lex felt Martha's shoulder bump his own and he looked down to find her grinning back at him.

"Really, Lex. You'd think after all these years, you'd be used to the cows by now."

"I have nothing against the cows, Martha. As long as they stay on their side of the fence, I'll stay on mine and everyone's happy." Looking up to see Clark and Jonathan heading towards them, Lex's smile grew. They'd been at the farm for less than an hour and already, Clark looked more relaxed than he had in weeks. That alone made the long trip out to Smallville from Metropolis well worth it, and Lex silently promised to make such trips a regular part of their future.

Lex was still grinning at Clark when he felt Brandon go stiff as a board and then, the first trickle of warm wetness made it's way down his side. Quickly looking down at the boy in his arms, Lex's chest seized up at the slack expression of sheer terror on Brandon's face. Whatever it was that had frightened the child so badly that he'd lost control of his bladder, he was still staring at it and Lex followed the path of that gaze. The only thing he could see besides grass and trees, was Jonathan and Clark. Lex immediately ruled out Clark, since the boy had never reacted that way to him before, which left Jonathan Kent. Something about the man obviously had the boy petrified with fear.

"Hey, Brandon? Brandon? What's wrong? There's nothing to be afraid of, I promise." Lex's words seem to break the paralysis gripping the boy and a terrified scream split the air as the boy suddenly began to struggle violently. Fighting to keep from dropping Brandon, Lex felt a flash of pain as one flailing elbow connected with his face and the sharp taste of copper exploded in his mouth. Grabbing Brandon's head, he pressed it to his chest and frantically stroked his hand up and down the little boy's back as Clark and Jonathan broke into a run towards them, with Clark leaping the fence in his haste to reach them.

"Shhhh, Brandon, shhh.... calm down... there's nothing to be afraid of... no one's going to hurt you... shhhh...." Over the thudding of his own heart, Lex could vaguely make out the words being sobbed into his shirt.

"The bad man... It's the bad man..."

"The bad man? What bad man, Brandon?"

"The bad man... the bad man who... who hurt Mommy..." With mute horror, Lex realized that Brandon was talking about the man who'd murdered his mother. And apparently Jonathan Kent reminded the little boy of that man.

Looking up with pained eyes to meet Clark's worried gaze, Lex had to swallow hard against the bile burning his throat. He never should have made them come here. It was a mistake. He should have waited, found out more about Brandon, before pushing him into experiencing new things. But no, he'd been in such a rush, he hadn't thought things through properly and now the boy was paying the price. How had he ever thought he could be even half the father Brandon deserved...

"Lex? Lex, what's happened? What's wrong with Brandon?" One broad hand had joined Lex's in rubbing Brandon's back, while the other was using the edge of his shirtsleeve to wipe at the blood dribbling from Lex's split lip.

"Your father, Clark... Somehow, he reminds Brandon of the man who... hurt his mother. He must not have seen him before... when we first got out of the car. He saw him now and he... he just... I didn't think, Clark, I just didn't... he panicked and..." Lex's chest felt unbearably tight and it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. Clark's eyes were now shifting rapidly back and forth between Lex and the sobbing boy in his arms with growing concern.

"Lex. Lex, you're hyperventilating. Just breathe." This can't be happening, was the only thing running through Lex's mind, as he reflexively wrapped his arms tighter around Brandon. Of all fucking times to have an asthma attack, *not* now. Please, God, not *now*.

"Lex, I need you to sit down. Now. That's it, I've got you. It's OK, Brandon, I've got you both." Slowly, Lex let himself be lowered to sit on the grass of the pasture and he felt Clark settle behind him. Jean clad thighs bracketed his own and long arms wrapped around both Brandon and himself, Clark's broad chest pressed against his shoulder blades as the younger man dipped his head to speak soothingly in Lex's ear.

"OK, now breathe with me, Lex. Just breathe, in and out. It's OK, Brandon, no one's going to hurt you and Daddy's going to be fine. He just got a little excited and needs to calm down to breathe right." Brandon's sobs had died down somewhat and Lex's swimming vision could vaguely make out wide, teary eyes looking up at his face from where the boy sat in his lap. Small hands pressed to Lex's chest and he felt his guilt swell at putting the boy through yet another terrifying experience.

"Clark... take Brandon... back to... the house..." He managed to force the words out of wheezing lungs through sheer force of will, but even that much left him gasping. The arms around him tightened and he could feel Clark shaking his head.

"Don't talk, Lex, just breathe."

"Clark, I can take Brandon..." Martha's voice, off somewhere to Lex's left.

"No!! No, I don't want to go. It's OK, Daddy, it's OK. I'm not crying anymore, don't be upset..." Small hands patting his cheeks and Lex had to close his eyes. He couldn't concentrate on breathing and not crying at the traumatized child's attempts to soothe *him* at the same time. So instead he focused on just breathing.

"That's it. That's it, Lex, breathe with me... keep breathing... that's it..." Lex didn't know how long they sat there, with Clark's words repeating soothingly in his ear while Brandon stroked his cheeks, but gradually the vise around his lungs loosened and each breath grew easier to take than the last. Finally, he simply sat slumped in Clark's embrace and slowly raised one hand to wipe Brandon's still damp face.

"I'm sorry, Brandon. I didn't mean to frighten you." His voice was hoarse but the words didn't leave him gasping this time and Lex sighed softly in relief. In his lap, Brandon shook his head and ventured a small smile up at him.

"It's OK, Daddy. You didn't scare me, it's OK." Feeling the smile on his own face wobble slightly at the little boy's words, Lex looked up to find both Martha and Jonathan watching them all with concern heavy on their faces. When his eyes settled on Jonathan's face, Lex was reminded of what had set things off in the first place and he dropped his gaze back down to Brandon.

"Brandon, I promised you that no one would ever hurt you again. Do you remember that?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"That means the bad man too. He will never, ever hurt you, Brandon. I know you were scared when you saw Grandpa, but it's very important that you understand that Grandpa is not the bad man, he just looks like him. Grandpa would never hurt you or want to scare you, Brandon, I promise you that." At Lex's quiet words, the little boy had grown still and Lex could see him casting furtive glances upwards at Jonathan Kent. Finally, Brandon raised his head to look directly at Clark's father and bit his lip.

"He has the same hair as the bad man, but... he doesn't really look like him now. I'm sorry I got scared, Daddy."

"No, Brandon, you don't have to be sorry. I just wanted you to understand that you're safe with Grandpa. Do you believe me?" Brandon's eyes wavered on Lex before looking up at Jonathan and Martha.

"Yes, Daddy," the boy smiled shyly. "You said Grandma would be nice and she was. Grandpa looks like he might be nice too. I believe you."

"That's very good, Brandon, I'm very proud of you." Clark's voice over Lex's shoulder was a reassuring rumble and the smile on Brandon's face grew firmer. "Would you like to go back to the house with Grandma and Grandpa for some ice cream, while I help Daddy get up? We'll be right behind you, I promise." At the mention of the treat, Brandon's smile grew brighter and he began to climb to his feet before pausing.

"You don't mind if I go first?" The temptation of ice cream was warring with the desire not to upset either Clark or Lex, on Brandon's face and Clark nodded again.

"It's OK, Brandon. Go ahead." That was all the permission Brandon required as he stepped close to Martha and reached up to grab one outstretched hand, waving with the other as the trio turned for the gate and headed back to the house.

No sooner were the Kents and Brandon out of sight then Lex felt a shudder pass through Clark's body and his lover buried his face against Lex's neck.

"God, don't scare me like that again, Lex... I swear, if something happened to you..."

"Hey... hey... nothing's going to happen to me, Clark. I'm fine, thanks to you." Reaching back with one hand, Lex gently stroked the back of Clark's bowed head and squeezed the hands gripping his chest with the other.

"When we get back to Metropolis, you're getting an inhaler. I'm not taking the risk of this happening again."

"Clark, it was an anomaly. I haven't had an asthma attack since before the meteor shower. I don't need an inhaler."

"Lex." The stubborn plea housed in that one word was more than Lex's pride could withstand.

"Fine. I'll see the doctor and get an inhaler."

"Thank you. Now let's get back to the house before Brandon starts worrying about us again." Clark reluctantly released his grip on Lex and climbed to his feet, before pulling Lex upright. Lex rolled his eyes but let Clark slip his arm around his waist in support as they began to walk back towards the farmhouse. After ten paces of protesting that his breathing was back to normal and his ribs felt (mostly) fine, Lex gave up on trying to get Clark to walk faster and simply let himself be led at the pace the younger man had already chosen.


	8. Chapter 8

Clark's hand was reaching for the handle of the screen door when the sound of breaking glass split the relative silence of the porch. Wrenching the door open, they entered the kitchen to a confusing tableau - the Kents frozen in shock on one end of the room and Brandon staring back at them with his back pressed into the corner and one hand wrapped tightly in the waist of his pants. The little boy's eyebrows were fiercely knotted, his face bright red, and Lex was in the process of taking a step toward him when Brandon opened his mouth.

"I said no! I said no, and you didn't listen! That's what you get when you don't listen!" The furious anger in the boy's voice was in direct contrast to the tears trickling down his face and Lex paused in his motion, blue eyes sliding to focus on the pieces of ceramic littering the floor beside Martha and Jonathan before narrowing slightly. Martha's were wide, one hand pressed to her mouth, and Jonathan had an arm around his wife's shoulder, hugging her to him while his eyes lifted from Brandon to meet Lex's gaze with a raised brow.

"Martha figured she'd help by changing Brandon out of his... dirty clothes. She tried to take his hand and lead him upstairs and... well, he threw the sugar bowl at her." Lex nodded once and lowered his eyes to meet the stricken gaze of Martha Kent.

"My sincerest apologies, Martha. I promise you, it will not happen again. Clark, why don't you see to your mother. I'll be upstairs with Brandon." A hand on his shoulder stopped Lex from moving towards the still crying little boy, and he looked back to find Clark frowning at him.

"Lex... I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt anyone. He's still upset, that's all." Exhaling slowly, Lex shook his head.

"I realize that, Clark. Believe me, I do. But I will not tolerate him behaving this way towards your mother. Or anyone else, for that matter. If we let him get away with it now, it's only going to make it more difficult to stop later on." Green eyes dropped from Lex's steady gaze for a long moment before rising again as the younger man nodded.

"I'll be down here if you need me." Reluctant, quietly spoken words as Clark turned back to his mother and left Lex facing Brandon. Whose eyes widened in fear when Lex began to walk towards him once more and the billionaire had to fight the nearly instantaneous urge to comfort that fear away.

"Brandon, I am not going to hurt you but we are going upstairs and you are going to explain yourself."

"No! I don't want to go!!" The tears gave way to sobs, Brandon pushing and shoving against Lex as he was gently but firmly picked up. Lex had to bite back a curse as a flailing knee connected with his thigh with bruising force, keeping his eyes fixed on the steps ahead of them as he climbed the stairs.

Turning left at the top, he made his way past the Kents' master bedroom to the small guest room at the end of the hall. Arms full of a sobbing, struggling five year old, Lex pushed the door shut with his foot and sat down on the freshly made bed without relaxing his hold on Brandon.

"Brandon, stop it. I'm not hurting you, but you're going to hurt yourself if you keep struggling like this." Thin arms braced against Lex's chest and shoved, as the little boy let loose with a wail at the top of his lungs.

"No!! I told her no and she didn't listen!!" Lex tightened his grip to keep the boy from falling backwards onto the hard wood floor and ducked his head to meet puffy red eyes.

"What did she do, Brandon? Tell me. If you don't tell me what happened, then I'll have to believe that you were just being bad and meant to hurt Grandma." The words rocked Brandon as if he'd been slapped and he stopped struggling to stare up at Lex with wide, hurt eyes.

"I wasn't being bad, Daddy, I wasn't!! I swear I wasn't!! Please don't punish me, Daddy, please! I'll be good!" Renewed dampness in his lap and Lex wanted to pick himself up and throw himself against the wall for not choosing his words more carefully.

"Brandon, calm down, I'm not going to hurt you. I promise I'm not going to hurt you, but you have to tell me why you threw the sugar bowl." Reaching up with a shaky hand to brush damp hair off the boy's forehead, Lex gently wiped at the tears with the pad of his thumb while his other hand released Brandon's shoulder to rub soothingly along his back. After several moments, the boy's sobbing finally eased enough for Lex to understand the stumbling words.

"She tried to take me to... to change me and... I didn't want her to see I was bad and... I said no and she didn't listen and... I didn't want her to see and she wasn't listening and I got mad and... I didn't mean to hurt her, Daddy, I swear I didn't but she wouldn't listen..." Sliding his hand under the boy's chin, Lex slowly tilted Brandon's face back up and shook his head.

"Grandma only wanted to take care of you, Brandon. She doesn't think you were bad for having an accident, she was trying to make you feel better by changing you into some clean pants. I know that you're scared and that you're upset, but that doesn't mean you can act that way. Not towards Grandma, or anyone else. If something upsets you, then you should tell Daddy or I and we'll take care of it. You should never throw things, someone might get hurt and that would be very bad. You don't want to be bad, do you?" Brandon sniffed and shook his head vehemently.

"No, Daddy, I don't want to be bad! I didn't... I didn't mean to hurt Grandma, I'm sorry..." Wiping away the remainder of the tears with his fingertips, Lex shook his head again.

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to, Brandon. You need to tell Grandma you're sorry." Brandon's head started to duck down again, but Lex's hand on his chin stopped him. Biting his lower lip, the little boy looked up at him tentatively.

"Is she mad at me?"

"No, Brandon, she's not mad at you. But she's upset because she doesn't know why you were so upset with her. Do you want Grandma to be upset?" Again, the little boy shook his head.

"No, Daddy. I don't want Grandma to be upset."

"Then I think you should tell her you're sorry, don't you?"

"Yes, Daddy." His eyes falling to the suitcases by the side of the bed that Clark had obviously brought up, before coming to find them earlier, Lex returned his gaze to Brandon with a reassuring smile.

"That makes me very happy, Brandon. Now why don't we change your pants and Daddy can get some clean clothes too, and then we'll both go downstairs. OK?"

"OK, Daddy." Sighing in relief that the current crisis was apparently now over, Lex stood Brandon next to the bed while he pulled out a clean pair of corduroys for the little boy. Pausing, he reached back into the suitcase for a pair of the training pants they'd purchased before beginning the drive to Smallville.

Taking Brandon's hand, Lex opened the bedroom door and led him down the hall to the bathroom. Stripping him of the soiled pants and underwear, Lex used a warm washcloth to clean the boy's lower body, then grabbed the hand towel and rubbed him dry before holding up the training pants. Brandon frowned at them but slid them on without a word of complaint, the pants following suit. Debating on whether to call Clark to collect the boy, while he changed into some clean clothing of his own, Lex decided against it. Brandon was behaving and Clark deserved some time alone with his parents.

Leading Brandon back to the guest room, Lex sat him down on the bed while he rifled through the suitcase for a clean shirt and pants. Setting the folded clothing on the bedspread, he unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it into the small hamper by the night table. In the act of reaching for the long sleeve T-shirt he'd selected, Lex looked up to find Brandon staring at him wide eyed. Frowning, he paused.

"Brandon? Is something wrong?" Starting slightly out of his stillness, Brandon bit his lip before raising his hand to point at Lex's right shoulder.

"How did that happen?" Feeling a shiver run down his spine, Lex lowered his gaze to the souvenir Jude had left him from Club Zero. Lifting his eyes back up from the jagged scar that knotted the skin below the edge of his collarbone, Lex kept his face and voice carefully light as he responded to the boy's curiosity.

"I had an accident when I was younger. The doctor's fixed it, but I have a little scar now. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt me." The worry on Brandon's face looked slightly mollified, until the little boy's gaze fell to rest on another scar that was the result of fall down a fire escape after partying all night.

"And that one?" Lex swallowed and reached for the shirt once more, as Brandon shifted closer on the bed.

"Another accident. I fell down some stairs when I was younger. It doesn't hurt either, Brandon." Then small, hesitant fingers brushed lightly over the faint scars on the inside of Lex's elbow and the chill down his spine spread, turning his blood cold. This time, Brandon's voice was soft when he spoke and Lex looked up to find sad eyes staring back at him.

"Mommy had a lot of accidents too..." The weight of knowledge far too old to be staring back at him from eyes too young brought Lex to his knees in front of the little boy, arms going out to hug Brandon to him.

"I don't have accidents any more, Brandon. Daddy keeps them from ever happening again." His voice was rough on his own ears and Lex couldn't prevent the slight shiver of memories better left forgotten from dancing down his spine. Small arms came up to wrap around his neck and Lex tightened his own around the thin figure.

"I don't want you to have accidents any more either, Daddy. I'll help Daddy Clark keep them away too." The solemn promise in Brandon's voice almost split Lex wide open and he had to swallow hard before he could force his throat to work again.

"You already do, Brandon. You already do." Slowly releasing the boy, he leaned back and pulled the shirt over his head. Climbing to his feet and smiling shakily down at Brandon, Lex kicked off his shoes and quickly slipped out of his damp pants into a pair of soft jeans.

Reaching out and feeling small fingers immediately wrap around his hand, the small smile grew steadier on Lex's face as he tilted his head to the side.

"OK, what do you say we go back downstairs and see about that ice cream, huh?" Sliding off the bed, Brandon smiled back up at him before sobering somewhat.

"After I say sorry to Grandma." His smile growing broader, Lex released Brandon's hand to run it affectionately through the boy's hair, before grasping it again.

"That's right, after you say you're sorry. Then ice cream. Sound like a plan?" Smiling happily once more, Brandon nodded.

"Sounds like a plan, Daddy." Feeling achy and sore, emotionally wrung out and badly in need of a shower, Lex let Brandon tug him down the hall towards the stairs and decided that, despite all that, he wouldn't trade the small hand wrapped around his for all the money and power in the world.


	9. Chapter 9

The Kent family was seated around the kitchen table, their voices an indistinct murmur that dropped off the moment Lex entered with Brandon. Clark, concern heavy on his face, began to rise but Lex motioned for him to sit back down as Brandon slowly pulled his hand free and walked to stand in front of Martha. Small hands twisting around each other, the little boy finally lifted his gaze from the linoleum floor to fix on a point just below the seated woman's face.

"I'm sorry, Grandma. I didn't mean to upset you or... or throw the bowl and break it. I got upset 'cause I was scared that you'd think I was bad when you saw I'd... saw I'd had an accident and I didn't want you to think that. Please don't be mad at me, Grandma, I didn't mean to upset you." By the time the boy's halting speech had grown to a close, his lower lip was trembling and Lex stepped forward with every intention of picking him up again. Before he could reach him, Martha leaned forward in her chair until she was at eye level with Brandon. and spoke, her voice soft and reassuring.

"Oh Brandon, honey, I'm not mad at you. I would never think you were bad for having an accident - lots of little boys have accidents when they get very scared. I'm sorry I scared you, Brandon. If I ever do anything that makes you that upset, you just tell me, OK? Then we'll talk about it or we'll get one of your daddies." Brandon's fidgeting had begun to quiet as Martha spoke and he tilted his head up at her last words.

"That's what Daddy said I should do, talk to you or come get him or Daddy Clark." Martha nodded and smiled back at Brandon's tentative words.

"That's right. Your Daddy is a very smart man and you should always listen to him."

Yes, so very smart that he terrorizes a small child into peeing on him and then when that child needs someone to look up to, shows him that he's just as fucked up as their dead mother. Startled by the strength of self-loathing tainting the thoughts evoked by Martha's praise, Lex felt the smile stiffen on his face and unconsciously slid his hands into his pockets. Outwardly calm and collected, while he worked hard to swallow the bile in the back of his throat.

"I'd like to give you a hug right now, if that's OK with you, Brandon?" Martha continued, holding out her arms to the little boy. Who promptly scrambled up into her lap, planting a kiss on her cheek before wrapping both arms around her neck. Feeling his stomach sinking at the easy joy that lit Martha's face at Brandon's reaction, Lex started slightly as familiar arms slid around his own waist and a chin rested on his shoulder.

"You looked like you could use one of your own. What's wrong?" He had to fight the urge to jerk free from Clark's embrace - Brandon didn't need to see another example of how weak he was, he needed to see that everything was fine and under control. Settling for stepping forward, out of the loose circle of arms, Lex turned slowly to face Clark and shook his head.

"I'm fine, Clark. Nothing's wrong." Dark brows furrowed in confusion and green eyes stared at his face before narrowing slightly.

"Mmm hmmm. Mom?" Recognizing the firm tone of Clark's voice as an indication that he wasn't being let off the hook that easily, Lex tried again.

"Clark, really, nothing's wrong." His own voice came out sharper than he intended and Clark spared him another quick glance, before turning to where Martha sat with a silent Brandon in her lap.

"Mom?"

"Yes, honey?" Brandon was looking from Clark to Lex and back again, small brows furrowed in an uncanny imitation of the look of concern on Clark's face, and Lex wanted to kick his lover for making a production and worrying the little boy over something meaningless.

"Can you keep an eye on Brandon for a few minutes? Lex and I need to go outside to talk." Martha's gaze switched to Lex and he looked quickly away before he could see the gentle nod of understanding she gave her son.

"Sure, Clark. Take all the time you need." Then Clark was taking Lex's arm and firmly steering him towards the screen door. Just as the door swung shut behind them, Lex heard Brandon telling Martha in a soft voice that it was OK, that Clark was 'keeping the accidents from happening' and could he have some ice cream, please. He had to fight the urge not to vomit and would have torn his arm from his lover's grasp if the other man didn't have such a tight grip on him.

Once Clark had marched him into the cool shade of the barn's interior, Lex felt himself being swung around and then engulfed in another warm embrace. One that refused to let up even as he stiffened and shoved at the arms wrapped around him.

"Damn it, Clark! Let me go!"

"No, Lex. Now talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Giving up on trying to budge Clark's unyielding arms, Lex tightened his jaw and kept his back rigid.

"I told you nothing was wrong."

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

"I thought we were past this, Lex. I've seen you pull on the smooth, unflappable exterior whenever you had to deal with something you didn't want to, but it's been years since I've seen you try to use it on me. That alone tells me something's wrong. So we can stand out here all day if we have to, or you can tell me what's upset you so badly." Wincing at the heavy concern the brisk voice didn't come close to covering, Lex sighed and dropped his head.

"Clark, it's nothing. It's just been a long day."

"Is it the asthma attack? Are you worried about that?"

"What? No. No, it's not that, Clark."

"Then what is it. Tell me, Lex. Please..." Closing his eyes at the tremble that had entered the soft voice whispering in his ear, Lex stood silent for a long moment.

"What kind of father frightens his child into peeing on him?"

"Lex, Brandon was frightened because of my father's resemblance to the man who murdered his mother, not because of you."

"No, Clark, when I took him upstairs before, I didn't think and told him he was being 'bad' and he panicked again and lost control. How many times has he used the word 'bad' in a context that probably came directly from dear, deceased Mom's mouth, and was probably followed by a beating? Jesus Christ, Clark, I should've known better!"

"Oh Lex, Brandon knows you would never hurt him."

"It doesn't matter, Clark, I should've known better. What the hell kind of father can I be if I can't even keep from hurting him?" This time, it was Clark's turn to be silent as Lex's words faded into the stillness of the barn. When he finally spoke, his words were slow, measured. Thoughtful.

"For the past few days, I've been beating myself up over not stopping to help when Brandon's mother was being beaten. I've been feeling guilty at the thought of not preventing her death and causing a little boy to lose his mother, the only family he had. Now, knowing what she did to him, and seeing how much he's opening up here, part of me is glad I didn't stop. What kind of man does that make me, Lex?" Feeling his chest tighten at Clark's confession, Lex struggled to turn and comfort his lover but Clark's arms tightened and held him nearly immobile.

"Stop, Lex, I'm not trying to get you to take care of me again. I'm trying to tell you something that's been on my mind since we brought Brandon home. I've watched the way Brandon is with you, the way he trusts you, and I think he trusts you even more than he trusts Superman, because he knows that you understand him in a way that I never could. And that's OK, because I've seen the way you are with him and I don't ever want to stop seeing that. You're so much better than you give yourself credit for, Lex." Lex had grown still at Clark's continuing words and blinked against the stinging in his eyes.

"He saw them, Clark. He saw the scars and now he knows that I'm just like his mother. How the hell can he look up to me after that?" The whispered words slipped out before Lex could swallow them down and Clark's reaction was instantaneous, the other man shifting until he stood before Lex with broad hands gently framing Lex's face.

"You are *nothing* like his mother, Lex. Yes, you have scars and yes, Brandon probably knows how you got them. But that doesn't mean he can't look up to you. If anything, I think it'll make him look up to you more because, unlike his mother, *you* overcame your problem." Giving up the struggled entirely, Lex let his eyes slip shut and leaned into the sturdy body cradling his own.

"You sound so sure..."

"I am sure."

"How?" Warm, soft lips brushed against first one and then the other closed lid, as fingers smoothed over his cheeks to cup the back of his head. A forehead gently rested against his own, and Lex slowly opened his eyes to look into Clark's tender gaze.

"Because I've seen how he looks at you, Lex. And it's not a look filled with disgust, or fear. It's filled with love, and trust. You don't need to be perfect to be a good father, Lex. You just have to do the best you can."

"I don't want to make a mistake with him, Clark. He's deserves better..."

"We all make mistakes, Lex. The important thing is that I'll be there to catch you if you do, just like you do for me, and that we always make sure Brandon knows just how much we love him. Everything else will come as it may." Feeling the knot in his stomach starting to finally loosen, Lex leaned back slightly to offer a small smile to his lover.

"How'd you get to be so sure?"

"I had a strong shoulder to lean on and someone who showed me that, no matter what happened, I could face anything as long as I wasn't alone."

"You'll never be alone, Clark. And neither will Brandon."

"I know, Lex, and soon, Brandon will know that too because he'll have you to show it to him."

"Us, Clark. He'll have us to show it to him." They stood for several long moments in the ensuing silence, before slowly drawing apart. As they walked back towards the house, Lex looked down at the large, tan hand wrapped around his own and felt the invisible weight that had been bearing down on his shoulders for days finally begin to lighten.


	10. Chapter 10

The afternoon passed quickly, the golden light rapidly giving way to the pale purple of twilight. Dinner was served early, the roast, vegetables and potatoes the sort of simple but deeply satisfying fare that Lex had come to associate with dinner at the Kents. Conversation was kept light and carefully steered away from any reminders of the stress they'd left behind in Metropolis. Lex watched with amusement as Brandon wrinkled his nose at the peas and carrots on his plate, small brows furrowed as he poked them with his fork as if afraid that they might actually poke back.

"Brandon, they're vegetables. If you want to grow up to be big and strong, you need to eat them." Pausing in the act of straightening the paper napkin tucked into Brandon's shirt, Lex looked up to find three sets of eyes on him - Jonathan's expression was one of surprise and amusement, Martha's was one of pride, and Clark. Clark's expression... the only word Lex could come up with to describe the myriad of emotions flying across the other man's face was love. A word that was nowhere close to adequately conveying the warmth that flooded Lex at the full, easy smile that curled his lover's lips, but as always, words failed him whenever it came to trying to express the entirety of what he felt for Clark. It wasn't enough, but 'love' would have to do.

Clearing his throat and leaning back in his chair, Lex took a sip of his water while conversation slowly resumed and Brandon diligently finished the vegetables on his mostly emptied plate. After a slice each of Martha's homemade apple pie (or, in Clark's case, two slices), topped with vanilla ice cream for Brandon, they all adjourned to the living room and the TV. As they settled in their seats, Martha and Jonathan on the loveseat while Lex and Clark shared the couch with Brandon between them, the nightly news came on and Martha began making subtle motions for Jonathan to change the channel, her gaze flicking to Clark and quickly away again.

"Mom," Clark sighed, shaking his head slowly with a small smile on his face. "It's OK. I didn't come out here to hide. I came out here... *we* came out here because we wanted Brandon to meet his grandparents. Besides, I couldn't tune it out if I tried, watching the news or not won't make any difference in my awareness of what's going on out there. For tonight at least, I choose to be here. With my family. So leave the news on and tell us what we've been missing in Smallville."

Lex listened politely, but didn't bother focusing too hard on the actual conversation going on around him. Instead, he kept his eyes fixed on the news reports flowing across the screen, one hand stroking the back of Brandon's head where the little boy had laid it against his thigh, while the other hand rested lightly on top of Clark's. All of the exhaustion of the past few days was finally catching up to him and he was finding it harder and harder to keep his own eyes open. In the end, he let them slip closed, telling himself he only needed a minute to recharge a little.

He opened his eyes to a gentle shake and the sound of Clark's voice softly calling his name.

"Lex. Come on, Lex, wake up. Time to go to bed."

"What? Bed? But it's still early..." Lex's voice trailed off as he finally managed to focus bleary eyes on his watch, only to find that two hours had mysteriously elapsed without his apparent knowledge.

"No, actually it's not. Mom and Dad went up a while ago, and Brandon dropped off about the same time you did, I just didn't want to wake either of you. But it's getting late and I figure you'll probably be a whole lot more comfortable in an actual bed, then with your head tilted over the back of the couch and your mouth hanging open." Lex looked up at a smirking Clark, who had a sleeping Brandon cradled in one arm while he pulled Lex to his feet with the other.

"My mouth was *not* hanging open." Clark nodded solemnly at a protesting Lex, while steering him gently towards the stairs.

"Yes, actually it was. Fortunately, you waited until Mom and Dad had already gone to bed, before you started snoring."

"I do NOT snore!" Lex hissed, turning at the top of the stairs to glare at his lover, who was grinning back at him.

"OK, so you don't snore. But at least I kept you distracted enough to get you to agree to going to bed before midnight."

"I never agreed to that."

"Lex..."

"I didn't disagree to that, either, I'm just saying."

"Well, quit 'just saying' and let's go to bed already. Here, pull the sheets back so I can tuck Brandon in while we get changed."

"Why are you in such a rush to get to bed so early, anyway? Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, Lex. It's just... well, in all the time I've known you, you've never fallen asleep in front of anyone but me. The fact that you passed out within twenty minutes of sitting down with my parents, that's a pretty clear indicator to me that you're exhausted and need sleep." The easy humor had begun to slip away from Clark's voice, quiet regret taking its place as the younger man finished with Brandon and lifted his gaze to Lex, who'd finished changing into his sweats and was climbing into bed beside the boy.

"I don't give you a lot of reasons to sleep easily at night, do I, Lex?" Lex shook his head as his lover quickly changed and joined them under the warmth of the comforter.

"Honestly? No. But you do give me plenty of great reasons to wake up every morning, and that's all that matters." The last was said as Lex let his head fall back into the pillow and he could feel the mattress dip as Clark shifted closer, still raised on one elbow. Then Clark's head was dipping and Lex's eyes slid shut at the gentle brush of lips against his own, biting back a moan at the instantaneous reaction of his body to the nearly chaste actions of his lover.

"You OK?"

"Just realizing that, since that day so many years ago when you finally got fed up waiting and all but threw yourself at me..." A snort was smothered by the pillow at his ear.

"And we both know if I hadn't, we'd still be dancing around the entire issue of how we felt about each other..."

"Don't interrupt, farmboy. As I was saying, this is the longest number of days we've ever spent together without having sex at least once." This time, the snort of amusement turned into a groan and Clark collapsed fully to the bed beside him, one arm draped across the still sleeping Brandon, to rest on Lex's hip.

"God, I know! Not that I resent Brandon or anything, but I'm really, really hoping he feels comfortable enough to sleep on his own sometime soon. Really soon."

"Really?"

"Shut up, Lex, or it'll be even longer than that before you get lucky again." The barely suppressed laughter in Clark's voice softened the potentially dire nature of his words. However, not willing to chance it, Lex schooled his face into an appropriately contrite expression as he leaned forward to kiss his lover, before laying back and closing his eyes.

"May the day that Brandon finally sleeps in his own bed arrive as quickly as possible, or I may not be held accountable for my actions. Up to and including kidnapping and the possible recreational use of the freight elevator at the Planet."

"Lex... if you don't knock it off, I'm going to be needing a cold shower in a minute." Not bothering to hide a soft snicker of his own, Lex smiled with his eyes closed.

"Good night, Clark. Pleasant dreams."

"Asshole."

"Language, Clark."

"Yeah yeah... good night, Lex. Love you."

"Love you too, Clark." A little maneuvering and Lex's cheek was soon resting against Clark's forehead. He drifted off into a solid sleep with the mingled breath of his lover and his son warming exposed skin chilled by the night air.


	11. Chapter 11

There were birds. Chirping somewhere off to his left.

Loudly.

As if their very existence hinged on waking Lex from what had been proving to be a very interesting dream involving Clark and whipped cream...

That alone was enough for Lex to begin contemplating the many ways in which birds could be swiftly and efficiently dispatched.

Poison... net... were there such things as bird catchers? Cat... gun... mouth...

Mouth.

Pressing down to suck lightly at the pulse beneath his jaw, while fingers.... yes, those were fingers all right... stopping to pinch a bared nipple before continuing on their lazy path down the center of his torso. Moaning softly, Lex arched his rapidly awakening body up into the dual stimulation.

The birds were granted a stay of execution. After all, there was nothing wrong with being woken up for *this*. Nothing wrong at all. Except...

"Brandon!" Lex jerked upright and pale blue eyes flew open in confused panic, sweeping around the bedroom before coming to rest on the only other occupant. Who was propped up on an elbow beside Lex, heavy lidded eyes watching him with ill concealed amusement.

"First of all, don't have a heart attack - I haven't lost my mind and decided to molest you while a five year old child was sleeping in the same bed." Slightly pacified by that, Lex wet his lips to reply and couldn't suppress a shiver of heat at the way Clark's eyes immediately focused on his actions.

"Where is he then?" Hoarse, distracted voice as that intense gaze continued to trail along his skin and Lex could feel the panic induced lassitude rapidly retreating from his body in response to it.

"He woke up early, so I took him down for breakfast. When he was done, Dad volunteered to take him out with him for a ride on the tractor, while Dad checks the fences in the far pasture. The slow tractor, pasture far, far away..." Amusement was still present in Clark's expression, but it was steadily being replaced by a raw heat as the younger man raised his head to press an open mouthed kiss to the bare skin of Lex's shoulder.

Simple brush of wet lips that had Lex's eyes instantly glazing over and his mouth dropping open on short, shallow breaths. More open mouthed kisses across his collarbone to the hollow of his neck, joined by the sudden presence of thick fingers lightly kneading the muscles at the base of his skull, and it was all Lex could do to form a coherent sentence.

"Your... your... mother?" Low snort of laughter against his now damp skin and Lex felt dark hair tickling his chin as Clark shook his head.

"While Dad was getting Brandon ready, Mom announced - very loudly, mind you - that she had errands to run in town. A lot of errands. So many errands that she didn't think she'd be back to the house for at least an hour. For at least as long as it would take Dad to drive to the far pasture and back, with Brandon." Slight scrap of teeth now against the tendon in his throat and Lex shuddered as he let Clark's greater body mass press him down into the mattress.

"I love your mother..." Brief pause in the assault on the sensitive skin beneath his ear and Clark leaned back to look down at Lex with a lopsided grin.

"If I wasn't so desperate to touch you, I think I'd probably be more than a little weirded out by my parents conspiring to give us enough privacy to have sex..."

"I repeat, I love your parents. If I thought they'd let me, I'd buy them a... oh God, if you stop doing that, I swear I'm going to kill you..." Lex gasped, arching up into the hand that had slipped inside his pajama pants. Slight breeze that rustled the sheets bunched under his head, and Lex found himself suddenly naked. Naked and staring up at an equally naked, and very much aroused, Clark.

"Clark?"

"We only have an hour, and I want to spend as much of that hour as possible with nothing at all between us..." Then that sinfully talented mouth was back on his neck while strong fingers stroked along his aching cock with steady, firm pressure that had him grinding his teeth against the flashes of pleasure shooting up his spine.

"Good... good idea... wait, what... no don't stop, damn it!" A moan of pleasure twisted in his throat to a whimper of protest as those treasured fingers were suddenly gone from his erection, leaving him to buck up desperately against empty space. A whimper of protest that quickly mutated into a mewling sound as fingertips brushed his lower lip and Clark's hot breath caressed his ear.

"Make them nice and wet, Lex..." Entrance instantly granted, Lex began to suck hungrily at the thick digits, sliding back to nip at fleshy pads before taking them in deep again. This time, it was Clark who whimpered, mouth open and panting as he watched his fingers being swallowed repeatedly by slick, wet heat.

"Lex... Lex... if you don't want... oh fuck... if you don't want this to end before it even gets started..." Slipping his lover's fingers out of his mouth with a wet pop, Lex leaned forward to breath against Clark's parted lips as he slowly moved the younger man's hand down between his bent legs.

"In me. Now." Slow, gentle press in, achingly familiar fullness, and a keening moan swallowed by Clark's mouth as Lex fought in vain against restraining weight to thrust himself down onto the fingers carefully working him open.

"God... oh God... now, Clark, now..."

"Shhh, easy, Lex... almost there..." Lex's head flailed back and forth across the pillow at the tender, hushed words breathed into the skin of his neck. Nails skittered along broad shoulders before he tightened his grasp on Clark and pressed his own mouth to his lover's ear, his words a husky growl.

"To hell with easy and to hell with almost - I. Want. You. To. Fuck. Me. Now." Each word was punctuated by a nip to Clark's earlobe and answered by a rough gasp and jerk of the fingers filling him. Fingers that slid out as Clark quickly took his place between Lex's thighs, gently pressing his legs to his chest as he resolutely slid inside.

Clark's face was pressed to his throat, hips rigidly held still while Lex gasped for breath against the intensity of having the emptiness inside him filled so completely. A moment passed, then a second and Lex was on the verge of begging Clark to move already, when he felt the slow roll of Clark's hips send an answering bolt of pleasure up his spine. Arching his back to press down on the weight bearing into him and splitting him wide, Lex cried out as Clark's teeth tightened on the bare skin of his neck and those hips snapped forward with more power.

"Oh God... Clark... yeah... yeah, fuck me... c'mon... oh God, please fuck me..." Dragging sweaty hands down a broad back to curve around Clark's ass, Lex pulled forward as he thrust himself down hard and was only dimly aware of a flash of pain in his neck beneath the steady onslaught of euphoria building in every cell of his body. A few more powerful thrusts and that was all it took. Lex came with a scream, eyes rolling up and body clenching in spasms around his lover, dragging Clark over the edge after him.

The next thing Lex was aware of, was Clark gently cleaning him off, before curling back around him and running a finger down his neck.

"Sorry. I got a little carried away..." Apology obvious in Clark's words, but nowhere to be found in his voice - it hadn't taken Lex long into their relationship to come to the realization that Clark was just as possessive as he, if not more so.

"I'm not. I like it when you mark me." Green eyes smiled lazily down at Lex, as he stretched slowly, relishing the steady ache and burn in his muscles.

"It's going to leave a hell of a bruise."

"Mmm, good..." Slow, leisurely kiss and then Clark was drawing away, tilting his head as he looked towards the window.

"And Dad's back already, with Brandon. They're in the kitchen. We should join them." Another breeze and Lex found himself dressed in a worn T-shirt and jeans. Raising an eyebrow at his bare feet where they rested against the cool wood floor, Lex lifted his gaze to find Clark grinning back at him with a shrug.

"It's the kitchen, you don't need shoes. Besides, I like your feet. They're cute. You should go around barefoot more often." Lex shook his head, chuckling as he climbed to his feet and headed for the door to the hallway.

"Just so long as you don't expect me to be pregnant, too..."

"Shut up, asshole. I pay you a compliment, and you laugh at me." The mock hurt in Clark's voice might have been more convincing, if he wasn't grinning back at Lex as they descended the stairs and turned into the kitchen.

"My feet are 'cute' - that's a compliment? Damn right, I'm going to laugh at you."

"Lex, language."

"Daddy!! I drove the tractor!! I did!!" The excited squeal was all the warning they received, before Brandon was hurling himself across the room and wrapping his arms around Clark's legs, while grinning up at Lex. Shaking his head with amusement, Lex crouched down in front of the nearly vibrating little boy and wiggled his brows.

"You drove it all by yourself?" No response from the little boy, who's huge smile had disappeared from a pale, pinched face, beneath eyes that were staring back at Lex with something akin to sadness. Small fingers reached up and poked unerringly at the bruise Lex knew was already beginning to color the bite mark on his neck.

"You got hurt..." Soft, mournful voice and Lex immediately regretted not thinking clearly enough to conceal the wound from the remarkably astute little boy. Clark cleared his throat and Lex looked up to see his blushing lover slowly reach out reassuringly for Brandon.

"No, Daddy Lex had an accident. He and I... well...ah..." Clark's hand halted in it's forward motion, his mouth dropping open in shock as Brandon jerked away from him. The little boy wrapped his hand around Lex's, planting his small body in front of Lex's frozen one, while glaring accusingly up at Clark.

"That's what Mommy always said, that it was an accident." Swallowing to wet his suddenly dry throat, Lex shook his head and lifted a hand to rest on Brandon's shoulder, the little boy barely sparing him a glance.

"No, Brandon, Daddy Clark's right, it was an accident. I'm OK." Brandon's lower lip was starting to tremble as he shook his head back and forth, keeping his eyes fixed on Clark the entire time.

"That's what Mommy said too, but I always heard her crying about how much it hurt, when she thought I couldn't hear her." Dampness glistened in small brown eyes and Clark began to reach out for the crying boy, only to have his actions met with a howl as the boy jerked away from him violently.

"No!! Don't touch me! You hurt Daddy!! You're a bad, bad man!!" The shrill words fell like concrete blocks into the sudden silence of the kitchen, Jonathan staring in open mouthed shock, while Lex slowly raised his eyes from the boy to Clark. And felt the bottom drop out of his world at the look of utter anguish on the slack face staring back at him.


	12. Chapter 12

Time was slowed. Sound, sight... everything vaguely hovering on the edges of his awareness, but inconsequential beneath the tight tunnel of focus that was locked on Clark's face. On the renewed guilt and confusion swimming there. On the raw *pain*.

He had to fix this. Make it better. Make it go away. Each blink that shrouded shimmering green from him was like a knife to his stomach. Sharp, stabbing... twisting.

He had to fix it and he couldn't think of a single thing to say. Couldn't think of a single thing except taking the hurt from Clark's expression, and what kind of man that made him for placing his lover before a damaged, vulnerable little boy who was trying to protect *him*. Shielding him with a body so tiny, shaking so fiercely, but so determined to keep the 'bad things' away from Lex, who was stumbling through parenthood with a horrifying lack of preparedness.

He had to fix it, fix both of them. He just didn't know how...

"No, Brandon, Daddy Clark isn't a bad man." Shocky blue eyes flicked slowly from Brandon's wide eyed gaze, to Jonathan Kent's weather worn face descending to eye level with the little boy. Who clenched Lex's hand tighter, jerking a shoulder away from where Clark's hand still hovered mid-touch and shook his head.

"But he *hurt* Daddy, he made him have an accident!" Jonathan shook his head in response, but made no move to touch the spooked child. Instead, he tilted his head and kept his expression warm and gentle as he continued speaking.

"Daddy Clark didn't mean to hurt Daddy Lex, Brandon, I promise you that. Sometimes... 'accidents' are really just accidents. Do you know what I mean?" Brandon's eyes flitted from the damning bite mark on Lex's neck to Clark's anguished face and back to Jonathan's patient regard, before he shook his head stubbornly.

"But he hurt Daddy. He's not supposed to hurt *anyone*, he's Superman." Lex had to give Jonathan Kent credit - the rapid blinking of his eyes was the only evidence of his shock at the fact that the little boy knew about Clark's secret identity. The older man was silent for a moment before he nodded.

"That's right, Brandon, he is Superman. But even Superman makes mistakes sometimes. That doesn't mean he wants to hurt anyone." Slight pause before Jonathan tilted his head to the side as he looked down at the still fidgeting child.

"Do you remember what happened this morning, when you were climbing up onto the tractor with me?" Brandon frowned, then nodded slowly.

"Yes. I banged my knee." Gentle, encouraging nod.

"That's right, you banged your knee and you have a bruise now too. Do you remember why you banged your knee?"

"Um... cause I wanted to get up into the seat really fast and didn't look where I was going." Uncertainty creeping into Brandon's voice and Lex's hand unconsciously began to smooth gently across the boy's shoulder.

"And why did you want to get up there so fast?"

"Because I was excited to go for a ride on a real tractor." Jonathan smiled down at Brandon, pleased, and Lex could feel some of the tension drain away from the tiny figure.

"That's right, you were excited. So you moved too fast and banged your knee and it got hurt. But you didn't *mean* to hurt yourself, did you?" Small brows furrowed and Brandon slowly shook his head.

"No, I didn't mean to hurt myself, I just was going too fast and slipped."

"Well, sometimes Daddy Clark gets excited too and he goes a little too fast and slips. Because he's Superman, he doesn't get hurt. He would never, ever purposefully hurt someone else either, but he is very strong and sometimes he makes mistakes too."

Brandon had twisted to look back at Lex, or more specifically, the bruise that had provoked his reaction. Chewing on his lower lip, the small boy leaned in close and Lex had to fight not to move as the wound was gently probed once more by small fingers.

"So he... Daddy Clark got too excited and kissed Daddy Lex too hard?" Both Jonathan and Lex breathed a collective sigh of relief at the quiet solemnity in the little boy's voice, devoid now of anger.

"That's right, Brandon." Lex's voice sounded rough and shaky as he spoke for the first time since Brandon's violent outburst. "Daddy Clark got too excited, but I'm OK. Do you really think that Daddy Clark would ever hurt you or me?"

At Lex's words, Brandon slowly turned to look up at Clark, small brown eyes widening again at the trickle of moisture running unheeded down slack cheeks. Obviously taken aback by the tears he saw there, the little boy reached out quickly to grasp Clark's hand and tug downwards. When the young man had been pulled into a crouch beside Brandon and Lex, the child reached up to pat his face.

"It's OK, Daddy, don't cry. I'm not mad. You had an accident too, but it's OK, Daddy Lex is OK. Please don't cry." Lex's own eyes burned slightly as he watched Clark's throat work rapidly to swallow, and he was surprised when his lover finally found his voice.

"I'm sorry I upset you, Brandon. I... I would never hurt you or Daddy Lex, I'll never let anything bad happen to either of you, I swear..." Brandon looked back at Lex quickly, as if checking to make sure he was truly all right, before releasing his hand to wrap both arms around Clark's neck in a tight hug.

"It's OK, Daddy, it's OK." The low sound of Jonathan Kent clearing his throat brought Lex's gaze around and up again to where the older man had regained his feet beside them.

"Why don't you come with me and we'll put a bandage on that... wound, Lex?" Lex was about to protest that it wasn't bad enough to need first aid, but something in Jonathan's voice forestalled any argument. A quick glance at Clark and Brandon, the latter still focused on comforting the former with hugs and kisses to wet cheeks, and Lex climbed to his own feet to follow Jonathan down the hall to the bathroom.

Once they reached the tiled room, Lex wasn't surprised when Jonathan closed the door behind them before stepping around Lex to open the medicine cabinet. Pulling out a sterile gauze pad and some adhesive, Clark's father regarded Lex silently for a moment before motioning for him to sit on the lid of the toilet. Feeling uncomfortably as if he were twenty-one years old again, Lex slowly sank to a seated position and braced sweating palms on his knees. Regarding Jonathan from behind a familiar expression of blankness while the other man removed a tube of antibiotic cream from the cabinet.

"Tilt your head to the side, Lex." Wordlessly, Lex complied, still waiting for Jonathan to broach the real reason he'd separated Lex from Clark and Brandon.

"I know you and Clark have... ah, developed certain habits, certain things you do that are perfectly all right for the two of you. But Lex, it's not just the two of you any more. Now you have Brandon to worry about. This," firmer press than was really necessary of the gauze pad to Lex's neck, "was irresponsible..."

"Irresponsible?" Lex hissed, jerking his head away as soon as the last piece of tape was applied.

"For both of you," Jonathan continued as if uninterrupted, leaning his back against the closed bathroom door and crossing his arms over his chest. Effectively preventing Lex from avoiding the lecture he apparently intended to deliver, trapping them both in a space so small that it was beginning to make the back of Lex's scalp crawl.

"Brandon is a very... special little boy, and you're going to have to make a lot of changes to the way you do things to allow for that." Lex's eyes narrowed and he felt his hands balling into fists atop the worn fabric of his sweatpants, despite his best efforts to keep his muscles relaxed.

"Do you really think I... that *we* don't know that?" It took a disturbing amount of self-control to keep his voice calm and steady in the face of the anger and frustration coming to a peak inside him at the other man's pointed words.

"I know that *Clark* does, but Clark also has a lot of other things on his mind, important things, and I'm trusting you to be the one who takes care of the details, Lex. I know that you've gotten used to having things handed to you, Lex, but you're going to have to do some growing up and work a lot harder now that you have a child to take care of."

"Handed to me..." Cold flash like ice water ran down Lex's spine and he was vaguely certain that the popping sound he heard was one of his fingers being dislocated inside the ball of his fist as he slowly stood up.

"Handed to me? For your information, *Mr. Kent*, I have *never* had anything 'handed to me'. I was born into money and privilege, but lost my mother and was raised by a man who doesn't know the meaning of the word 'father'. I had to fight for every scrap of respect I've earned in the financial world as an entity separate from the title of 'Luthor'. I have endured *years* of snide remarks and whispered aspersions that I was nothing better than a rich sugar daddy, keeping Clark as my 'boytoy' I believe was the common term used. All because I refused to let anyone know more than cursory information about him, for fear of what else they might discover if they looked too closely. I have endured those jabs at my pride, Mr. Kent, because your son is more than worth it."

"I have spent night after night, waiting for Clark to return from facing down every manner of perversion and violence that the underbelly of the world could throw at him. I have spent day after day piecing him slowly back together again from the toll that battle takes on him. I have spent the past week watching him almost fall apart beneath the weight of guilt one more death brought on him, and I have watched him find his own feet in the need of a little boy for a father he could look up to."

"I have been peed on repeatedly by a little boy who's mother I would dearly love to throttle, and I have spent at least one night on a cold bathroom floor, consoling that little boy because he thought he was going to be beaten for wetting the bed. I have watched that same little boy smiling happily, without a care in the world, while playing on the floor with one of his new 'daddies'."

"If you honestly still think that, after all of that, I'm going to let either Clark or Brandon down, then this conversation is pointless." Jonathan was blinking back at Lex in surprise, his arms having dropped to his sides at the vehemence in the younger man's bitten off words.

"Lex. I didn't mean that..."

"Excuse me, Mr. Kent, but I said we were done discussing this. Kindly move so I can leave the bathroom and return to my family."

"Lex, now wait a minute..."

"Dad? Lex? Is everything OK in there?" Lex took advantage of Jonathan's turn towards Clark's voice to reach past the older man and pull the door open. Clark stood just outside, with Brandon nestled protectively in his arms and an expression on his face that said he'd clearly overheard at least part of what had passed between Lex and his father. The narrowed look the young man aimed at Jonathan confirmed it and Lex shook his head as he rested a hand on Clark's shoulder and gently turned him back towards the kitchen without sparing a glance for the rigid figure still standing in the center of the tiled room.

"Everything's fine, Clark. It's almost noon already - why don't you get some lunch ready for Brandon, while I go back upstairs and make a few phone calls?"

"Phone calls, Lex?"

"Yes, I want to see how the contractors are progressing with Brandon's room and when we can expect to return. After all, I wouldn't want to overstay our welcome at your parent's home." A flinch and Clark's darkening eyes strayed over Lex's shoulder to glare at the bathroom before returning to Lex's neutral expression.

"Lex, what exactly happened in there? What did Dad say that got you so..."

"Clark," Lex cut him off, a slight nod down at the concerned brown eyes staring up at the both of them drawing Clark's attention off himself. "I said I was fine. Now, go ahead and get lunch ready, I'll join you both shortly." His own words forced and light, Lex pushed Clark into the kitchen before turning off to the steps leading upstairs.

He managed to keep the smile on his face until he'd safely reached the haven of the guest room. Only then did he let his face fall beneath the steady throb in his hand and the sharp, bitter taste swirling in the pit of his stomach. Swift jerk of his hand and the offending joint was back in place - one pain quickly fading, while the other continued unabated. After eight years, he had thought he'd gained some measure of respect in Jonathan Kent's eyes.

Finding out he was wrong hurt far more than it had any right to.


	13. Chapter 13

Lex snapped his cellphone closed with an irritated sigh.

The furniture had been delayed at the warehouse and now the truck wouldn't arrive until the next morning. The decorators had finished the wallpapering but only just started on the painting. There were apparently drop clothes everywhere, according to Shari.

Which meant that, unless Lex absolutely wanted to force the three of them to sleep in an apartment still reeking of paint fumes with Brandon's room only half completed, they would be spending another day and night at the mercy of the Kent's hospitality.

Wonderful.

The faint trilling of the phone in his hand brought Lex's eyes down to the display and he swore under his breath. Momentarily debating ignoring the call, he abandoned the tempting idea - his day was already off to such a great start, it couldn't possibly get any worse. Besides, if he didn't take the call, it would probably only lead to greater headaches later on.

"Good morning, Dad." Keeping his voice modulated and carefully bland was difficult given his current state and the smooth laugh his father issued before responding only made the tension screaming in his neck worse.

"Lex, how are you enjoying your visit back to Smallville?"

"Don't you have anything better to do than keep tabs on me, Dad?"

"Really, Lex, don't flatter yourself. You're hardly worth the trouble of hiring an investigator when you're not exactly low profile."

"What do you want, Dad? I don't have time for your games."

"What I want, Alexander, is for you to tell me what exactly it is you think your doing?" The sudden serious edge to his father's voice sent alarm bells clamoring in Lex's head and it was all he could do to maintain his own outwardly calm facade.

"I have no idea what you're referring to, Dad."

"I'm referring to the preposterous idea of you and that... friend of yours adopting a child. You haven't the first idea of what it takes to raise a child properly, let alone the damage controversy like this could do to your career." Clenching his jaw, Lex fought not to throw the cellphone against the wall, opting instead to take several deep breaths before responding.

"He's not just a 'friend', Dad, he's my lover, my partner, and his name is Clark - I'd appreciate it if you would refer to him by name. And while I may not have experience in raising a child, I still think I'm far more qualified to be a parent than you ever were. As for my career, I'm not concerned - if I recall correctly, LexCorp stock is still worth a good deal more than LuthorCorp right now." The moment the words were out of his mouth, Lex immediately regretted saying them. The last thing he needed was to antagonize his father by reminding him that Lex was quietly and successfully turning LexCorp into a force to be reckoned with, while LuthorCorp continued to lose contracts to his own son's company.

"Qualified, Lex? Really. Just how *qualified* do you think Child Services will think you are to raise a young, impressionable child when they find out what kind of man you are?" Lex's blood ran cold at the slow, mocking words.

"The case worker at Child Services is well aware that I'm gay, Dad, and in a committed relationship with another man." The slow, oily laughter that filtered through the phone turned cold blood to ice.

"I wasn't referring to your sexual perversions, Alexander. I was referring to your very colorful, very much illegal pastimes. I wonder how favorably they'd look on arson, drug use, drug trafficking, felony larceny, assault, solicitation, prostitution..."

"Are you threatening me?" The words came out of his throat like broken glass being regurgitated and Lex looked down at shaking hands as he fought to control his breathing.

"You should know by now that I don't make threats, Lex." The edges of Lex's vision were graying, his words sounding alien and cold to his own ears.

"I'm warning you, Dad. If anything should happen to interfere with this adoption, I will hold you personally responsible and every single piece of dirt on your business dealings that I've collected over the years will find its way to the Daily Planet before you can even blink."

"I doubt you'd have the balls to do something that would destroy the Luthor name in the process." The edge of mocking dimmed beneath the weight of warning in Lionel's response.

"Push me on this, Dad, and you'll find out *exactly* what I'm capable of." A long moment of silence and then a soft chuckle over the phone.

"Emotions, Lex. You've always been ruled by them. I have no intention of interfering in your little fantasy of the perfect life, I was merely offering my advice to be on your guard or you could find it all taken away. Just like that." Standoff reached and apparent truce called, and Lex closed his eyes.

"Thank you for the concern, Dad, it's always refreshing to know exactly where we stand with each other. If that's all, I have other things to attend to. Good day." This time, when he flipped the phone closed, Lex threw it to the mattress and stood rigid in the center of the room, letting the aftershocks of panic wash through him.

Lionel couldn't do anything to drive Clark away, the younger man was already privy to all of Lex's dirty laundry, but his father could pose a very real threat to Brandon if he chose to. Lex resolved to keep a much closer eye on his father from that point forward and to step up his efforts in building an insurance policy against just such a threat.

Losing Brandon now would crush Clark. Closing his eyes against the shivers of fear that ran down his spine, Lex tried not to dwell on the realization that it would destroy *him* as well. They couldn't lose Brandon now. They just... couldn't. He wouldn't allow it.

The click of the door opening brought Lex's head up and eyes open with a snap as he whirled to face it, relaxing slightly when Clark stepped in and shut the door quietly behind him.

"Where's Brandon?" Horrified at the faint tremor in his voice, Lex winced and hoped it wasn't nearly as obvious as it had sounded.

"He's downstairs, with Mom," Clark responded, moving closer and ducking his head to look with concern into Lex's partially averted eyes.

"She's home already?" Starting to move away from his lover and towards the door, Lex stopped when Clark's hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"Yeah, she came home and found us sitting at the kitchen table, with you nowhere in sight. She took one look at Dad's face and very strongly suggested he go spend a few hours working in the fields. Then she asked Brandon to help her get lunch ready and suggested I go collect you since, and I quote, you 'don't eat enough'."

"Your Mom seems to be making a lot of suggestions." Lex exhaled slowly as Clark's other hand came up to join the first in gently massaging the muscles at the back of his neck, while the taller man leaned in to rest his forehead against Lex's.

"Can I make one?"

"Sure, Clark."

"Tell me what my Dad said that's got you so worked up?" Sighing more heavily, Lex brought his own hands up to rest lightly on Clark's hips and shook his head slowly.

"Really, Clark, I'm fine."

"Lex? Remember that discussion we had way back, right after I supposedly threw myself at you?"

"Which discussion would that be - the one about how we were meant to be together, or the one about how we were going to break the news to your parents?"

"Neither - I'm talking about the one where we agreed not to keep any more secrets or tell any more lies to each other."

"Oh. That one."

"Yeah, that one. So let me ask you again, what did my Dad say that's got you so upset?" Soft brush of lips against his brow and Lex leaned closer to Clark, letting the other man's warmth push back the cold that was threatening to swallow him from inside.

"He started to make a point about how we needed to be more careful around Brandon and how I, in particular, needed to grow up and work harder, if I was going to be a good enough parent. I lost my temper. Then you knocked on the door and that was that." The hands kneading the back of his neck tightened momentarily and Lex heard Clark swear under his breath.

"God damn it, he had no right to say that to you, Lex. It's none of his business and he's *wrong* - you don't need to work at being a good enough parent, you already *are* one. Brandon's gotten so much better in just this short time and it's almost entirely thanks to *you*."

Only Clark had ever spoken of Lex with such conviction, such unshakable *faith*, and Lex grasped it like the lifeline it always had been, closing his eyes and feeling the knots inside finally begin to loosen.

"Thank you. It's just... even after all this time, Clark, he still doesn't trust me and that... bothers me."

"I know it does, Lex, I know and I'm sorry. He's a very stubborn, pigheaded man and someday he'll realize that he's wrong. About a lot of things, but most of all, about you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and to Brandon, and I will never regret that." This time, the gentle kiss brushed across his lips and Lex sighed, the ache inside fading under the unmistakable love in that simple gesture.

"I know it sounds twisted, Clark, but there isn't a minute that goes by that I don't thank God for that day on the bridge. If I hadn't hit you, I might never have met you and I'd be a very different man today. The kind of man I always feared I'd become. You saved me from that, and I will happily spend the rest of my days repaying that debt any way I can."

"You're not your father, Lex. You would never have become what he wanted to turn you into - you're too good of a man for that." Wincing at the reminder of his father, Lex sighed heavily and stroked his thumb across Clark's cheek.

"Ah, speaking of the devil... my father called just now. He knows about Brandon, and he's not happy." At the reluctant words, Clark stiffened in Lex's arms.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing but vague, empty threats about what Child Services might do if they found out about my past... mistakes. He won't actually do anything, Clark, I know too much for him to risk retaliation. He just enjoys pushing my buttons whenever he can." As the younger man slowly relaxed again at his reassurance, Lex looked up to find a wry, humorless smile on his lover's lips.

"Have I told you lately how much of an asshole I think your father is?"

"Not lately, but feel free to elaborate - I promise not to disagree with a single thing you say." Clark chuckled at that, before pulling away from Lex.

"OK, we'd better head back downstairs before Mom decides Dad should be castrated for whatever he did to upset her 'other' son." Pasting an innocent smile on his face, Lex tilted his head to the side.

"Can't we just wait up here until she does?" This time, Clark's chuckle turned into a choked laugh and he shook his head. Reaching down to twine their fingers together, the younger man tugged Lex towards the door.

"No, Lex. As much as I know you'd enjoy it if she did, no. Besides, I think Brandon's a little worried at your disappearing act and I don't want to keep him waiting." At the mention of the little boy, Lex sobered quickly.

"Right. Lead on then, MacDuff."

When they walked into the kitchen, Brandon was just finishing pouring milk into a fourth glass, brows furrowed in concentration as he carefully balanced the container in small hands.

"What's for lunch, Mom? I'm starving," Clark asked, leaning in to kiss his mother on the cheek while looking over her shoulder at what she was preparing.

"There's sandwiches and leftover roast. And I believe there might be some apple cobbler in the fridge, for dessert." The last was said as she looked across the room at Lex, who was pulling out a seat at the table while Brandon moved towards him. The gentle concern on her face, coupled with the subtle offer of what she knew was one of Lex's personal favorites, warmed him to the core. Despite Jonathan's continuing reservations, Martha Kent had always made Lex feel as if he were a part of the family and for that, he was grateful.

"Apple cobbler? Are you trying to make me fat, Martha?" The lightly teasing words had their desired effect and the concern eased on Martha's face as it crinkled into laughter.

"Please, Lex. Considering how little you eat, I doubt you're in danger of ever having to watch your weight." Smiling back at her, Lex felt a faint tugging at his sleeve and looked down to find Brandon staring somberly back at him. Raising his eyebrows in inquiry, Lex sank into his seat and bent his head to the little boy's level.

"Yes, Brandon?"

"Daddy? You aren't mad at me, are you? You're not going to give me back, are you?" Blinking in confusion, Lex shook his head quickly as he pulled the boy up to sit in his lap.

"No, Brandon, I'm not mad at you and we love you too much to ever give you back. Why would you think such a thing?" Brandon chewed on his lower lip and regarded the tablecloth for several moments before lifting his head to meet Lex's concerned gaze.

"You sounded mad when you were talking to Grandpa. In the bathroom." Lex resisted the urge to kick himself, or Clark - clearly, his lover wasn't the only one who'd heard parts of his rant at Jonathan. Shaking his head firmly, Lex kept his expression reassuring and open as he looked down at the uncertain child.

"Yes, Brandon, I was a little upset with Grandpa, but it had nothing to do with you. I am not mad at you and nothing you could do would ever make me think of giving you up, OK? In fact, Daddy Clark and I were just talking about how happy we are that we decided to make you a part of our family, and how very much we love you." A tentative smile lit the boy's face as Brandon looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes, really," Lex nodded, a warm smile easily finding its way to his face. "Now how about we eat some lunch and then we can explore the farm a little more. Or, if you like, Daddy and I could take you to see the big house where I used to live before I met Daddy. Would you like that?" The tentative smile blossomed into an excited grin and Brandon quickly climbed from Lex's lap to his own seat, nodding the entire way.

"Oh yes, I'd like that very much!! Can we go right after lunch?"

"Yes, Brandon, we can go right after lunch. Eat your lunch, we'll have some of Grandma's very special dessert afterwards, and then we'll take a little drive." Still grinning at the happiness and excitement shining on his son's face, Lex looked up to find both Martha and Clark regarding him with twin expressions of warmth.

"I'm sorry, Martha, I didn't think - was there anything you wanted us to do after lunch? We could always make the trip to the castle another time." Martha shook her head, the pleased smile growing on her face as she responded.

"Nonsense, Lex. You boys finish eating and I'll pack some cookies and muffins for the three of you to snack on while you're there." Feeling his cheeks flush slightly at the untempered fondness in Martha's voice, Lex could only nod as he picked up his own sandwich and began to eat.

Perhaps the day wasn't turning out to be quite so bad after all.


	14. Chapter 14

Lunch passed quickly - almost too quickly, with both Martha and Clark having to gently discourage an overexcited Brandon from swallowing his food down whole. Apparently, the prospect of going to see an actual *castle* was enough incentive to drive an otherwise well-behaved little boy to repeatedly climb up onto his knees in his chair and attempt to push as much of his lunch into his mouth as he possibly could.

"Brandon, slow down, kiddo. I promise that we'll leave as soon as we're done eating, but you have to eat slower before you choke." Clark carefully extricated an entire half sandwich from Brandon's fingers and put it back on his plate, arching a brow at the small boy as he worked to swallow the large bite he'd already taken.

"But I wanna go..." The excited voice broke off as Brandon began to cough and Lex started to reach out to pat the boy between the shoulders. Only to freeze at the horrifying thought that the child might take the helpful gesture as the abuse he'd so obviously been dreading from them. Expecting from them. Fortunately, the obstruction cleared itself, but not before Lex looked up to find Martha regarding his frozen form with sadness in her eyes.

Slowly, Lex drew his arm back, changing the direction of his motion to push his own plate away from him. His sandwich was only half eaten, but somehow it had lost any appeal beneath the low throb of a headache beginning to press against his skull.

"Lex?" Carefully light voice for Brandon's benefit, but still layered with enough clear concern that the muscles in Lex's jaw began to tick. This would not become about him. It. Would. Not.

"I'm fine, Clark."

"Lex..."

"Drop it."

"What?" The tightness that had now crept into Clark's voice at Lex's clipped words was more than he could deal with. Pushing his chair back, he rose to his feet.

"I'm going to go change into something more appropriate for traveling, while you're all finishing here. Excuse me." That said, he turned on his heel and managed to keep his pace to a normal speed as he left the kitchen and retreated back upstairs.

Once back in the guest room, Lex came to an abrupt halt in the center of the room. Back rigid, headache driving against his temples now, and hands clenched at his side. He didn't have time for this, didn't have time to have a meltdown. There were two people he needed to take care of now, not just one, and there was no room for error. There never was, and there never would be.

There certainly wasn't room for him to lose his temper, which was why he'd had to step away from the table and gain some breathing room for himself. Little sleep and the constant need to handle Brandon carefully was something he'd thought he could handle. But every time he made a mistake, every time he did something wrong that should have been *obvious* to him, it wound him even tighter. Hearing the concern in Clark's voice should have been comforting.

Instead, it had felt like a slap in the face, proof of just how fantastically he was failing to meet his obligations as Clark's partner and Brandon's father.

Snarling silently, Lex jerked his shirt over his head and threw it on the bed. Yanked out the dresser drawer and quickly pulled on a fresh shirt before his eyes had time to register the ever present reminders of exactly how much of a failure he really was. Sweatpants removed with brutal efficiency and dress slacks pulled on just as quickly. Dark socks and leather loafers followed, and Lex finally stopped moving long enough to breathe. Forced everything back down inside and slapped a lid on it that he only hoped would hold long enough for him to get through the day.

Relatively certain that he now had himself under sufficient control to avoid snapping at Clark again, Lex turned and opened the bedroom door.

Only to find his lover leaning against the far wall with both arms crossed over his chest, expression an unreadable mask.

"You want to explain why you stormed off like that?" The muscle in Lex's jaw jumped again and he studiously avoided meeting Clark's eyes as he began to brush by him.

"Where's Brandon?"

"Downstairs, helping Mom pack some snacks. And you still haven't answered me, Lex." A broad hand closed firmly on Lex's upper arm and he ground to a halt. Took a deep breath and let his eyes slowly fall to the tanned fingers.

"I asked you to drop it, Clark. Brandon's waiting. Let's go." Thick fingers tightened, and for a long moment, Lex didn't think Clark was going to let go.

"What if I don't want to 'drop it'?" Tight voice, the edges of a slow burning anger finally creeping into Clark's words, and Lex's head throbbed behind the force of his clenched teeth.

"It's not up for discussion. Brandon is waiting." Finally, Clark's hand slowly unwrapped itself from Lex's bicep and dropped to the other man's side. Lex didn't have to look down to know that those hands were clenching and unclenching in irritation.

"Fine. But don't think that you can hide behind Brandon for this, Lex. We *will* be discussing this later." With those words, Clark pushed past Lex and headed down the stairs without a backward glance to see if the other man was following.

 

*********

 

The ride to the castle was a mostly silent affair, with Clark driving and Lex sitting stiffly in the back with Brandon. The little boy's initial excitement had rapidly faded beneath the thick tension hanging in the air inside the Mercedes and he sat quietly in his carseat. Both hands were kept folded in his lap and his eyes lifted only occasionally to glance sidelong at Lex and then Clark, before dropping back down again. He'd asked only two questions since they'd begun the short drive and when Clark's voice had overridden Lex's in answering, the questions had stopped.

Lex's headache had only grown worse and he found himself longing for a stiff drink. Something to kill the pain pulsating through him. A drink, a pill. Anything.

The iron gates to the castle finally rippled by outside the tinted glass of the car's windows, and the vehicle slowed to a halt outside the main entrance. Unbuckling his own seatbelt, Lex reached over to undo Brandon's just as the passenger door opened and Clark reached in to lift the boy out. Exhaling harshly through his nose, Lex counted to ten before opening his own door and climbing out.

Clark was standing before the mahogany doors, with Brandon balanced in one arm staring wide eyed at the building's impressive facade.

"Daddy Lex lived here?"

"Yes, he did, Brandon."

"Does that mean he's a prince? Princes live in castles." Lex was about to assure the boy that he was in no way a prince, when once again Clark's voice overrode him. Trying for lightness, but not quite able to conceal the sarcasm beneath.

"Oh yes, Daddy Lex is a prince all right, Brandon. A real prince among men." Brandon's brows furrowed at Clark's words, uncertainty as to whether he should believe him playing clearly across his small face.

"Cut it out, Clark." Lex bit out sharply, sharper than he intended, and Brandon's eyes went wider. Clark at least had the good grace to look guilty and gave Brandon a gentle squeeze, his voice coming out carefully modulated this time.

"Would you like to see the rest of the castle, Brandon? Daddy Lex had a lot of rooms, with some very cool things in them. Do you know what a knight is?" Brandon bit his lip before tentatively nodding his head.

"Yes. Knights fight dragons."

"That's right, knights fight dragons. Well, the shiny metal that knights wear is called armor, and Daddy Lex has several suits of armor. In the castle." The slight pause in Clark's response, and his choice of words, sank beneath Lex's skin with a sharp burn. Despite the deceptively easy tone they'd been spoken in. Clenching his hands inside his pants pockets, Lex waited silently for Brandon's answer.

"Yes, I'd like to see the knights. Please." The quietness of Brandon's response and the hesitant way in which he answered, spoke volumes for exactly how much he was picking up of the undercurrent running between Lex and Clark. It made the acid in Lex's stomach churn and he congratulated himself on once again turning something that should have been easy and fun for the boy, into a complete cluster fuck.

"OK then, let's go see Daddy Lex's knights, with their many suits of armor." Clark punched the passcode into the security alarm to disarm it, before slipping the key into the lock and pushing the door open with his free hand. Turning slightly sideways to keep Brandon from banging his head against the door frame, Clark's eyes momentarily met Lex's and the older man had to swallow back bile at the flash of anger he saw there.

Anger he'd put there with his own inability to meet what was expected of him.

Clark and Brandon disappeared into the dimness inside the castle. Lex's feet felt heavy and his legs wooden as he slowly climbed the steps and slipped through the open door after them.


	15. Chapter 15

The interior of the castle was a forest of shapes shrouded in white sheets. When Clark had left Smallville for college in Metropolis, LexCorp had suddenly developed a pressing need for its CEO to relocate to the bustling city. A few items of personal importance were packed and shipped to Lex's penthouse, but the remaining contents of the sprawling building had been moved to storage or carefully covered to protect against dust.

During the beginning of their relationship, when Clark's parents were still adjusting to the idea of their son living and sleeping with Lex, Lex had been reluctant to impose on them. Their intermittent visits to Smallville had started out with the both of them returning each night to the castle to sleep and then making the trip back to the Kent farm for breakfast each morning. That arrangement had lasted all of three visits, before Martha remarked that it was 'ridiculous' for them to waste so much of their time with traveling to and from the castle, when there was a perfectly good guestroom available at the farm, and it wasn't like they weren't family.

Clark had risen silently from the dinner table to wrap grateful arms around his mother, while Jonathan roughly patted Lex's back on his way to his place at the other end and, saying a cursory grace, calmly asked him to pass the mashed potatoes.

That visit had marked the last time they'd stayed at the castle and it had stood half empty and uninhabited in the five years since.

As they made their way further into the castle, towards the room Lionel had dubbed the 'War Room', Clark pointed out the brilliantly colored stained glass windows to Brandon and Lex looked around them in silence.

The hallways they walked through had grown familiar and almost comforting to Lex during long, sleepless nights spent trying to take his mind off his father's machinations, plans for a future that seemed stalled and a mysterious farmboy's apparent unattainability. Now, they were decidedly barren and cold compared to the warmth he felt every time he walked into the penthouse, and he suppressed a shiver.

Slowly following Clark through the door to their destination, Lex looked up to find Brandon gazing at him over Clark's shoulder while his lover removed the sheet from one set of armor with his free hand. Pasting a smile on his face for the little boy, he motioned vaguely at their surroundings.

"So how do you like being in a real castle so far, Brandon?" Expressive brown eyes regarded him for a long moment, drifting away briefly to glance at the swords and shields mounted high on wooden walls and the polished suit of armor that Clark had uncovered, before returning once more to fix on his face.

"It's very... big. Did you ever get lost when you lived here?" A tentative, quietly spoken response that picked away at the already raw lining of Lex's stomach and he was in the process of shaking his head, when Clark again answered first.

"No, Brandon, Daddy Lex never got lost in the castle. He had friends to keep that from happening. Sometimes he would forget that and almost get lost, but his friends were always there to point him in the right direction again." Swallowing hard at the pointed words layered in meaning, Lex simply nodded in agreement and smiled once more at Brandon. Who looked from Clark's shuttered face to Lex's blank expression, before carefully averting his own eyes to stare at the armor they stood in front of.

"The armor is very nice, Daddy." Brandon's voice was even more subdued now and Lex took a step closer, before turning and heading for the far door.

"Let's go and explore the other rooms. There's a lot more here than just suits of armor," Lex called back over his shoulder, avoiding meeting Clark's eyes as the younger man shifted the little boy on his hip and slowly followed.

Rooms randomly chosen, Lex kept his voice light and animated as he described each interesting item they came across, while each step they took inside the cavernous building echoed emptily inside of him.

 

*********

 

The afternoon was nearly over before Clark looked down at his watch and remarked that they should head back to the farm.

"Grandma's going to have dinner ready soon and we don't want to keep her waiting." Again, Clark drove while Lex sat beside Brandon in the backseat. Conversation was nonexistent and Lex stared unseeing out the car window, while Brandon fidgeted quietly in his seat. Finally, unable to ignore the furtive sounds beside him, Lex turned to the boy.

"Brandon? Is there something wrong?" Wide eyes stared up at him, before flicking nervously to rest on the back of Clark's head and back again. Small hands twisted around each other as the little boy responded.

"Why are you and Daddy Clark mad?" Blinking rapidly, but ultimately unsurprised by the words, Lex slowly shook his head.

"We're not mad, Brandon."

"Yes, you are. But you're not yelling, you're just being quiet and not talking. Did Daddy Clark do something bad?" Brandon blurted out, before ducking his head back down. Resisting the urge to rub at the increasing tension in his neck, Lex shook his head again as Clark slowed the car to a halt in front of the farmhouse and got out, coming around the back to Brandon's door.

"No, Daddy Clark didn't do anything bad. He's just... tired, and so am I. So we're being quiet. But no one is mad, Brandon, especially not at you, OK?" Brandon didn't respond, simply nodded meekly and passively allowed Clark to lift him free of the carseat.

Slow to remove his own seatbelt, Lex looked up through the windshield and saw Jonathan Kent standing on the porch. Obviously waiting for them. Or more likely, him. If there was one thing that Lex had learned over the years, it was that Kents didn't drop something until they felt they'd made their point. Sighing quietly, he opened his own door and stepped out, joining Clark and Brandon as they walked towards the house.

"Dad. Is there a reason you're out here waiting for us?" Surprised at the sharp, challenging tone in Clark's voice, Lex turned his head slightly to regard his lover but was rewarded only with a view of the other man's profile as he continued to stare at his father. Jonathan Kent looked slowly from Clark to Lex, before returning his gaze to his son as he spoke.

"I wanted to have a word with Lex before dinner."

"No."

"There's some things we need to discuss, son. Why don't you take Brandon inside and get him washed up..."

"I said no. Lex is tired, I'm tired, and I can smell dinner sitting out on the table already. Whatever you have to say can wait until tomorrow, and then it'll be you and I doing the talking. Dad." Jonathan's mouth opened and closed in surprise at the final tone in Clark's voice and he stood by silently, while Clark held the door open for Lex and motioned him inside.

Once in the kitchen, it was apparent that Martha Kent did indeed have dinner waiting for them, and the relieved expression on her face told Lex all he needed to know about what she thought of her husband's need to 'discuss' things. Smiling wanly, he washed his hands at the kitchen sink, while Clark helped Brandon clean up in the bathroom.

Jonathan entered and sat down in his seat, wordlessly waiting until everyone else was seated before beginning to fill his plate. Conversation was sparse as they ate, and only occurred at all thanks to Martha's continuous attempts to fill the tense silence that hovered over them. Lex kept his eyes fixed on his plate, mechanically lifting the food to his mouth and trying to ignore the heavy knot settling in his stomach. Ignoring as best he could the questioning glances Martha was giving Clark and the way his lover simply shook his head in reply.

Breathing a sigh of relief when the whole strained meal was over, Lex was the first to rise from the table. Following behind the others as they filed into the living room for the nightly news, he made a slight detour away from the couch to the small liquor cabinet the Kents kept for special occasions. Wrapping his hand around the first bottle he touched, Lex poured himself a healthy glassful of what a quick swallow confirmed to be whiskey. Refilling the glass, he turned slowly to meet first Jonathan's hooded gaze and then Martha's heavily concerned eyes. Unable to stomach the emotions he saw in either gaze, they were still far more palatable than the raw anger he found waiting for him when he finally met Clark's narrowed eyes, Brandon staring sleepily at Lex from his lap. Raising his eyebrow in shaky defiance, Lex folded his body onto the end of the couch that his lover had left vacant for him and fixed his own gaze resolutely on the images flashing across the television screen.

The first time he got up to refill his glass, Lex could feel Clark's thigh muscles radiating tension where they brushed against his own.

Twenty minutes later, when Lex got up and again crossed the room to the small bar, Clark had apparently had enough.

"Mom, can you please take Brandon and put him to bed for me? Lex and I are going outside to talk." Mutely, his mother held out her arms for the now sleeping little boy and settled carefully back into her chair with him cradled to her chest.

"Clark, it's late and I really don't want..."

"It's not negotiable, Lex. We *are* going outside and we *are* going to talk. Outside, now." Clark's tightly spoken words were punctuated with a broad hand reaching around to pluck the glass from Lex's hand and place it back on the top of the bar with a solid thunk. The other hand planted itself in the small of Lex's back and propelled him firmly towards the screen door and the dimly lit yard beyond. Feeling the alcohol beginning to roil away in the pit of his stomach, Lex let himself be guided without protest.

It wasn't until they were standing well away from the house that Clark finally stopped and turned Lex to face him. Slightly glassy blue eyes stared back at dark, raging green before Clark exploded.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Lex?" Fingers tightened on his shoulders and kept him firmly in place when Lex made to push past Clark, and Lex's eyes narrowed in response.

"Really, Clark. I know you enjoy marking me, but the hand-sized bruises you're leaving aren't doing anything for me right now." Acidic, bitter words designed to cut. Words that made the muscle in Clark's clenched jaw tick before he shook his head.

"Nice try. Don't avoid the question - what the hell's wrong with you?"

"Fuck you, I'm fine. I just wanted a damn drink to wind down, what the hell's so wrong with that?"

"A drink, Lex? That implies the singular, and last I recall, you were on your way to your third drink in under an hour. Now I repeat, what's wrong?"

"I said, fuck you. I'm fine." Clark leaned in close and Lex had to fight to keep from jerking his head away as the other man slowly inhaled, before leaning back again to regard him with a bitter smile.

"Fine? So fine that you spent all day with your face fixed in the expression you only get when you're dealing with your father? So fine that you're trying to drown yourself in alcohol and risk smelling like a distillery around your son? Because really, Lex, that's not fine. Not in my book, and I didn't think it was in your book either. Not anymore."

Lex felt the blood drain from his face at Clark's words and he shoved against the other man's chest with both hands. This time, Clark let go of him and he staggered back several steps, hands clenched at his sides.

"Fuck YOU! You want to know what's wrong? Do you? What's wrong is this, this whole thing. I thought I could handle it but I can't, it's fucking absurd that I ever thought I could be a father to Brandon. All I do is fuck up left and right and I'm going to end up damaging him worse than he already is. Jesus Christ, Clark, look at me - I can't even keep myself together, how am I going to care for a little boy who really needs someone strong?" Words tumbling to a broken halt, Lex stared back at a silent Clark with his chest heaving.

Finally, Clark's expression softened and he shook his head slowly, stepping forward too quickly for Lex to avoid being wrapped in strong arms and pulled close.

"God, Lex, for such a smart guy, you really are incredibly dense sometimes," the taller man murmured, as Lex struggled in vain against the tight embrace.

"You're the best thing in that boy's life right now, no matter what you think. Sure, you've made mistakes. But so have I. So has every parent. Do you honestly think my parents never made a single mistake when they were raising me? The important thing, Lex, is learning from those mistakes and trying to do the best you can in showing Brandon that he's loved and cherished. And I haven't seen you fail a single time in doing that."

"Clark..." The single word was all Lex could manage, before Clark was shaking his head again.

"No, listen to me. Just listen to me, Lex. With all that you've endured because of your father, I think you've already proven how strong you are. I couldn't do what it is that I do, Lex, if it weren't for you. If it weren't for knowing that I could home to you and feel safe in your arms, I'd have given it up a long time ago. But knowing that you're there for me, every step of the way, is enough to give me strength when I need it most."

"You are strong, Lex. Stronger than anyone I know. And it's that strength that's already gone so far to help heal Brandon. You have it in you to be a great father, Lex, I know it. Now you just need to believe it."

At the fierce conviction in Clark's rock-steady voice, Lex felt the last of his anger bleed away into the ground at his feet. Leaving behind only exhaustion, tumultuous emotions and a desperate need to believe that Clark was right about him.

Closing his eyes, he dropped his head to rest against Clark's broad shoulder and felt warm hands rise to stroke soothingly across his back.

"I'm so afraid of screwing this up, Clark. So afraid, it makes me sick inside to think of it. I can't fail Brandon, Clark. I can't..." The whispered admission sounded as loud as a pistol shot in Lex's ears, but he forced the words out to hover between them nonetheless.

"You won't, Lex. I promise."

"What if you're wrong?"

"I'm not." Feeling emotionally drained but steadier than he had been in days, Lex opened his eyes and leaned back slightly to regard Clark with a small smile.

"Awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?" The answering grin on his lover's face sent a bolt of warmth straight through Lex.

"Of course. I'm talking about you, after all." Startled into a soft laugh, Lex shook his head.

"And you're just such the expert on all things Lex Luthor." Thick fingers slid under Lex's chin and gently forced his face up to meet Clark's gentle eyes.

"Not an expert, no. I just have a lot of faith in him." Soft, warm lips silenced the retort before Lex could make it. And for that he was grateful. Instead, he simply allowed himself to sink into the comfort of Clark's embrace and the affirmation that he was nowhere near half the man his father was.

He was so much more.


	16. Chapter 16

The return trip to Metropolis was filled mostly with Brandon's excited comments about cows and chickens, and how much fun the farm had been and how nice Grandma and Grandpa were - a comment which had momentarily caused Lex to stiffen. Until Clark's eyes met his in the rearview mirror and the smile there let him breath again.

Lex had awoken early that morning with a drooling Brandon sprawled across his chest and Clark nowhere in sight. A glance at the clock on the nightstand confirmed it was just after 7 am and Lex sighed. Slowly sliding upright, Brandon's limp body carefully cradled against him, he'd climbed to his feet and had been about to cross to the bedroom door when motion in the farmyard below had caught his eye.

Changing direction, he'd gone to the window instead and been just in time to see a straight-backed and determined Clark striding out of the barn and heading for the house. Furrowing his brows slightly, Lex had grown still when Jonathan emerged far more slowly, a look of pained regret on his face as he watched his son enter the house without a backward glance. Clark had apparently meant every word when he'd told his father that they would be talking in the morning and Lex could only guess what his lover had said to put Jonathan Kent in his place.

Drawing back from the window, Lex had paused in indecision. Considering he was the cause of the tension between father and son, he wasn't exactly looking forward to joining them at the breakfast table and enduring any more strained silences. On the other hand, when Brandon began to stir sleepily in his arms, someone would be wanting breakfast very soon. It really wasn't much of a decision to make.

"Good morning," he'd smiled as he looked down into slowly blinking eyes. Brandon had rubbed at his eyes with one small fist before reaching up to wrap both arms around Lex's neck, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Good morning, Daddy." A still groggy murmur of words that were punctuated with a small yawn, but Brandon's voice had sounded... content. Happy, even. That alone was enough to broaden the smile on Lex's face and he'd tilted his head down at the small boy.

"Still tired? Do you want to go back to sleep for a little longer?" His response had been an immediate widening of eyes and a vehement shake of the head that had him smothering a laugh.

"No, I'm awake, Daddy. Promise." A short pause in which Brandon's eyes had drifted away from Lex's face to scan the room before returning to focus on him. "Where's Daddy Clark?" This time, there had been a definite uncertainty creeping into the boy's voice and Lex had given him a gentle squeeze.

"He's just downstairs. Daddy Clark wakes up a lot earlier than we do. Do you want to go down and have breakfast with him and Grandma and Grandpa?" Relief colored Brandon's expression as he nodded.

"Yes, please, Daddy." As he'd made his way to the door once more, a small voice in Lex's head had commented that he probably should brush Brandon's teeth and wash his hands and face before letting him eat. But looking down and seeing the relaxed, unguarded eagerness on the boy's face to join the rest of their unorthodox family, he'd decided it could wait. After all, there would be plenty of other times to be the responsible father.

 

*********

 

The penthouse smelled only faintly of paint when Clark swiped the passkey through the lock and held the door open for Lex to lead Brandon inside, before following after with the suitcases. Once inside the foyer, Lex paused. Crouching down in front of a curious Brandon, he tilted his head and smiled.

"Brandon? Do you remember when we said that we were going to make you a room of your very own?" Brandon's eyes began to grow wide.

"Yes, Daddy, I remember." Fidgeting from foot to foot now, and casting furtive glances past Lex at the hall that led to the bedrooms. Lex looked up at Clark to find his lover grinning down at them and his own smile stretched into a grin as he turned back to the impatiently waiting little boy.

"Well, while we were at Grandma and Grandpa's, we had people come here to fix your room so it would be done when we got back. Would you like to see it now?" Violent nodding that threatened to send the boy toppling and before he knew it, Lex was being tugged along by one small hand as Brandon headed for the closed door to *his* room.

Stopping directly outside it, he looked up hesitantly at his fathers, biting his lower lip in nervous excitement. This time, it was Clark who spoke first.

"Go ahead, Brandon. Open the door." Permission granted, small fingers immediately reached up to twist the knob on the door and push it open. Reaching around the doorjamb to flick the light switch on, Lex looked down to see the effect the transformed room would have on the little boy.

The walls had been repainted from somber, subtle colors to bright, vividly detailed scenes of farms and animals, toy trucks and fire engines - a clash of colors and images that should've seemed garish to Lex, but didn't. Small shelves lined two walls and were neatly filled with children's books and the toys Brandon had picked out at Toys'r'Us. The children's bed against the far wall was shaped like a race car, the blankets and matching sheets like something straight out of NASCAR. And in the far corner...

"Lex, I don't remember picking out that from Toys'r'Us..." Clark's voice, soft and low from behind Lex's right shoulder. Looking at the incredibly lifelike black rocking horse, the real horsehair mane and tail, the worn leather bridle and saddle, Lex shook his head slowly.

"That's because it didn't come from Toys'r'Us, Clark." Brandon's eyes had fixed on the horse too and the boy now stood motionless by their side.

"Where did it come from, Lex?" He could feel heat along his back as Clark stepped closer, and Lex's smile grew wistful at the memories dancing through his head.

"My mother had it made for me when I was very young." Immediately, there was a broad arm circling his waist and Lex leaned back into the solid chest of his lover while he smiled down at a wide-eyed Brandon.

"Somehow I never would have thought your father would allow you to have something so... pointless. I mean, a complete reenactment of the Trojan Wars, yes. A rocking horse?" At the tender amusement in Clark's voice, Lex chuckled and shook his head.

"He wasn't particularly thrilled about it until my mother told him that the rocking horse's name was Bucephalus. That since Alexander had Bucephalus growing up, she thought it fitting that I should have my own." A squeeze of the arm around his waist and a light brush of lips against the back of his head greeted Lex's quietly spoken words.

"Ah, I see. I'm glad your mother knew your father well enough to manipulate him into letting you have something every other child had." Looking down at where Brandon was beginning to fidget from foot to foot, eyes now fixated on the motionless horse across the room, Lex shook his head with a small smile.

"Not every child. Go ahead, Brandon, he's yours now." Brandon looked up at the indulgent tone and took two steps forward before stopping and turning to look up at them.

"What's his name?" The bright wonder in the little boy's eyes set an answering warmth pooling in Lex's chest.

"His name is Bucephalus, but I always called him Bucky." As Brandon nodded and broke into a wide smile, running across the room to pet the soft coat of the rocking horse with awed hands, Lex felt a smothered snort of laughter against the back of his neck. Reaching around to swat Clark's leg, he shook his head and chuckled.

"Shut up, Clark. Even I couldn't say 'Bucephalus' easily as a child."

"I'm just trying to imagine your father's face when he heard that..." Lex's smile turned slightly strained as pleasant childhood memories darkened.

"I never called him Bucky in front of my father. I was fairly certain that if I did, he'd take him away. No, I made every attempt to use his proper name whenever Dad was around. Fortunately, he didn't come into the nursery very often." The rumble of laughter died in Clark's chest and both arms wrapped around his waist in a gentle hug, while the taller man rested his chin on Lex's shoulder.

"I repeat, your father is an asshole. Besides, I like Bucky better."

"So do I, Clark. So do I."

 

*********

 

"Lex, are you sure about this?" Lex finished tying his tie and winked at where a neatly dressed Brandon sat on the edge of their bed.

"Yes, Clark, I'm sure. We won't be staying there long, I just have to sign a few papers and make a few phone calls, then we'll come back home." Turning to face a worried Clark, who was busy pacing the length of the bedroom, his own tie loose and rumpled around his neck.

"Maybe I can take another day off. I have the laptop, I can always write from home..." Shaking his head in amusement, Lex moved to stand directly in Clark's path and almost laughed when his lover ground to a halt, concerned eyes finally focusing on his surroundings.

"Clark, you can't take another day off and you know it. Perry will only be so patient with you before he finds someone to replace you. Until we find a nanny for Brandon, this is the best way to handle it. Besides, I have my own office, not a cubicle on a very noisy newsroom floor, and Brandon can play with his toys while I take care of business. Stop worrying about us, we'll be fine." Clark exhaled heavily as Lex deftly fixed his tie and straightened his collar, a crooked smile spreading across chiseled features.

"I can't help it, I'll always worry about both of you. We can meet for lunch, right?" Letting his hands rest on the back of Clark's neck, Lex tugged him down for a tender kiss before releasing him again.

"Of course. I should be finished by then and we'll have lunch before I take Brandon home. Does that work?"

"Yeah, that works." Glancing down at his watch, Clark grimaced. "And I should probably get going if I don't want Perry yelling at me for being late on my first day back." Smiling, Lex submitted to one more lingering kiss before pushing Clark towards the door, watching his lover place a sweet kiss on Brandon's forehead and ruffle the boy's hair before slowly making his way across the carpet.

"Go already, we'll see you at lunchtime." Clark had barely disappeared from view, before he poked his head back in the door, still smiling.

"Love you, Lex."

"I love you too, Clark. Now go!" Once Clark was gone, Lex turned his attention to the quietly waiting Brandon.

"OK, Brandon, are you ready to go see where Daddy works?" The boy's expression perked up and he nodded happily.

"Yes, Daddy, I'd like that very much."

"All right then, let's get some of your toys together and then we'll be on our way."

"OK, Daddy." Lex couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his own face as the little boy scrambled down from the bed and ran off to his own room. Brandon still wasn't feeling comfortable enough to sleep in there on his own, but the boy had been more than content to spend the preceding afternoon happily playing with his toys and rocking horse.

Brandon wandered back into the room a moment later, a teddy bear tucked under one arm and a toy truck clutched in the other hand.

"I'm ready, Daddy." Still smiling, Lex herded the boy towards the hall and the private elevator that would take them to the parking garage and the waiting limousine.

"OK, kiddo, let's go to work."

 

*********

 

Brandon had been wide eyed with awe since the moment they'd pulled up in front of the gleaming LexCorp building, clutching tightly at Lex's hand while Lex balanced his briefcase and the toy truck in his other hand. The little boy had stared around them as they walked to the elevator bank that led to the 20th floor and Lex's office, ducking his head at the curious glances of passersby and almost burrowing into Lex's side when the elevator doors closed behind them. Looking down at the small boy clinging to him in the confines of the elevator car, Lex gently squeezed Brandon's hand.

"Hey, you ok, Brandon? There's nothing to be scared of."

"I'm not scared, Daddy." Almost immediately, Brandon was pulling his face from Lex's pantleg and sticking out his lower lip stubbornly. Hiding a grin, Lex shook his head.

"Of course not. We won't be staying very long, then we'll go see Daddy Clark for lunch. How does that sound?"

"Daddy Clark doesn't work here too?" Curious eyes looking up at him and Lex smiled encouragingly back.

"No, Daddy Clark works at the Daily Planet. That's a newspaper. Do you know what a newspaper is, Brandon?"

"Yes, Daddy." A short pause while Brandon crinkled his eyes up in thought and then he was tentatively speaking again.

"Daddy Clark works at the newspaper and... the other thing?" Frowning in confusion, Lex tilted his head.

"The other thing?" Biting his lip, Brandon looked around quickly before whispering back,

"You know... Superman?" Understanding finally dawned on Lex and he nodded slowly, a mixture of relief and sadness spreading through him at Brandon's instinctive understanding of the need to keep Clark's 'secret'.

"That's right, Brandon, Daddy Clark has two jobs. He's very busy sometimes, but he'll always have time for you. Do you understand that?" Lex kept his voice soft and reassuring as he stared down into uncertain brown eyes.

"He won't leave, will he?"

"No, Brandon, he won't ever leave." Tension finally leaked out of the small frame and Brandon nodded back at him as the elevator doors opened.

"OK, Daddy. I believe you." Smiling down at him, Lex began to lead him across the floor and towards his office. Pausing at the floor's reception desk as the cellphone in his pocket began vibrating, Lex put his briefcase and the toy truck down on the desk. Giving the woman behind the desk a small smile, he pulled the slim phone out and shook his head, smiling at the number displayed.

"Clark, we just got here. You can't possibly be worrying about us already." A short pause before Clark's embarrassed laugh filtered through the phone pressed to his ear.

"I missed you guys, that's all. I'm working, really. Listen..." The muted sound of clattering keys before Clark's voice returned. "See?"

Lex bit back a laugh and nodded distractedly at the receptionist, who was holding up a lime lollipop in question and looking down at Brandon with a smile. Grinning as Brandon tore the wrapper off and stuffed the treat in his mouth, Lex shook his head.

"For all I know, Clark, what you just typed was a bunch of gibberish."

"Actually, it was 'the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog'..." This time, the laugh escaped Lex's lips.

"Clark, I hardly think Perry's paying you to write typing exercises." A heavy sigh filtered across the connection and Clark's response was more sober.

"I know, I just... I wanted to hear your voice. Is Brandon there? Is he having fun yet?" Hearing the hopeful tone in his lover's voice, Lex smiled into the phone.

"Yes, he is. Hang on a moment." Holding the phone out, Lex turned to where Brandon stood, happily sucking on his lollipop.

"Brandon, would you like to say hello to Daddy Clark?" Nodding quickly, Brandon grabbed the phone and held it to his ear, the sucker still tucked in one small cheek.

"Hi, Daddy! We're at work and it's a very big building, even bigger than the toy store!" Brandon paused in his speaking and nodded rapidly at whatever Clark was saying on the other end.

"Yes, Daddy, I'm having lots of fun. Daddy Lex let me bring my truck and he said I can play all I want while he works on his job stuff. Then we're going to meet you for lunch. Where are we going?" Another nod, and Brandon's face lit up even more.

"McDonalds? I've never been to McDonalds! Can we go now? Oh... OK, Daddy, I'll be good and wait. Yes, Daddy, I love you." Then Brandon was holding the phone up to Lex, who was trying in vain to smother the smile of amusement on his face.

"Yes, Clark?"

"Lex, what is he eating? You're going to ruin his appetite." Despite the chastising tone in the other man's voice, Lex could hear the happiness vibrating through the phone.

"Relax, Clark, it's just a lollipop. His appetite will be fine. McDonalds, Clark?" Lex could clearly see Clark leaning back at his desk and smirking into the phone at the faint whine in his own voice.

"Welcome to the world of fast food, Lex. You really didn't think we were going to take him to Cafe Fonduta, did you?"

"They have spaghetti, Clark. Lasagna... I'm sure they have something he'd eat."

"Nope, sorry, Lex. You've been outvoted. Brandon wants McDonalds, I want McDonalds, so McDonalds it is. Deal with it."

"When I have indigestion later, I'm blaming you." The smirk in Clark's voice turned into a full blown laugh at Lex's mock petulance.

"Blame away, we're still going to McDonalds. Oh crap... Perry's yelling again, I gotta go. Give Brandon a kiss for me, OK? Love you."

"Love you too, Clark." Disconnecting reluctantly, Lex winked down at Brandon and gathered up his briefcase and the boy's truck.

"OK, ready to see Daddy's office now?"

"Yes, Daddy!" Smiling briefly at the receptionist, Lex led Brandon past her station to the doors at the end of the hall that opened onto his office.

Once he was sure Brandon was suitably distracted by his toys, Lex turned his attention to the folders his assistant had left atop his broad desk. Flipping distractedly through the papers inside, he scanned the documents briefly before signing where Shari had indicated. Glancing down at the list she'd left of the phone calls he needed to make, Lex's eyes flickered up to where Brandon was happily driving a $20 truck across carpeting that cost a thousand times more. Stretching back in his chair, he smiled as he listened to the steady stream of murmuring and chatter coming from the child.

The phone calls weren't that important, they could wait a few minutes.

 

*********

 

A sleeping Brandon nestled against his side, Lex leaned back against the headboard of their bed and watched Clark change for bed with a contented smile on his face. Tilting his head up for a slow kiss as the other man finally climbed into bed beside him, a tired but happy smile on Clark's face.

"Did Perry give you any hassle today about being out?"

"No, he was his usual charming self and had about a dozen stories on my desk by noon that he wants me to pursue."

"Hmm, sounds like a rough day."

"Well, I did get to break for lunch with my partner and our son, so that was pretty cool. High point of my day, actually." Clark's lips curved into a smile against Lex's throat, as he trailed soft kisses along warm skin before pulling back.

"High point of my day too. Except for the whole you coming home part. And the fast food induced indigestion..." A low chuckle greeted his teasing and Lex carefully shifted to a supine position on the bed as Clark turned out the lights and threw an arm across Brandon's sleeping body to rest his hand on Lex's chest.

"Shut up about the indigestion and go to sleep, Lex. We have work in the morning, remember?"

"No sympathy.... I shock the cashier when I order a Happy Meal for Brandon, I smile while chewing rubbery meat of questionable origins, and I get no sympathy from you. Ingrate." A huff of laughter against his shoulder and Lex grinned into the darkness.

"I bought you Tums, didn't I?"

"Oh yes, nothing says love like chalky antacids." Clark's laughter was muffled into Lex's shirt and his lover's broad hand slapped gently against his chest.

"Lex, I love you. Really. A whole lot. But shut up and go to sleep already..." A muffled snicker of his own and Lex finally let his eyes slide shut.

"I love you too, Clark."

 

*********

 

Darkness. No sound. Nothing to explain why he was suddenly awake in the middle of the night.

Lex was about to let his eyes drift shut again when he felt it. Violent trembling against his side that brought him fully awake and tightened his throat with fear.

"Clark! Clark, wake up!" The sound of a hand fumbling for the light in the dark and sudden brightness as Lex sat upright and reached for Brandon.

Brightness that showed a small sweat streaked face with rolled up eyes and a body that convulsed against pale sheets. Brightness that stopped Lex's heart in his chest and had his hands frantically stroking the boy's pinched features. Heat was radiating from the tiny body and panic began to close in on Lex.

"Brandon? Oh God, Brandon?" No response and Lex was barely aware of Clark scrambling out of the bed and throwing the balcony doors open. Barely registered Clark taking the shaking body from his arms. Distantly heard his lover's terrified words.

"The hospital. There's no time for an ambulance, I'm taking him to the hospital on 4th and 7th. Meet us there." Then there was a flash of movement and he was alone with his own cold, sweat covered hands and pounding heart.

Vague awareness of stumbling from bed and pulling his jacket on, hands clutched around car keys. Not realizing he hadn't stopped to put shoes on until he felt the cold metal of the Porsche's gas pedal beneath the sole of his right foot. Didn't register the roar of the engine or the flashing lights that filed in behind the car as he raced through darkened city streets. Didn't think about tickets or accidents or small shaking bodies.

Didn't think about anything except getting to the hospital as quickly as possible and praying he wasn't too late. Praying to a God he didn't believe in and making desperate promises out loud while dampness wet his cheeks. Promises of anything and everything in the hopes that someone was listening and Brandon would be all right.

He had to be all right. Had to be.

The alternative was unacceptable.


	17. Chapter 17

There was an orderly standing outside the entrance to the ER, smoking a cigarette, when the Porsche fishtailed across the entrance ramp and came to a screeching halt with the front half of the car resting on the curb. The man dropped his cigarette and snapped his gaping mouth shut, moving forward as Lex stumbled from the car and ran towards the entrance.

"Hey! You can't just..." The hiss of the hydraulic doors as they closed behind him cut off the rest of the man's statement and Lex jerked to a halt, bare feet almost slipping on hard tile as he frantically scanned the waiting room for any sign of Clark or Brandon. The sound of his name being called jerked his head around to fix on the nursing station.

"Mr. Luthor? Can I help you?" A short, elderly woman in pink scrubs was looking at him with professional understanding on her face and kindness in her voice. The thought that she probably saw a great many frantic people coming through the ER doors skipped across the surface of Lex's mind as he moved quickly to the desk.

"Please, there was a man... a man must've come through here recently, with a small boy... I have to... I have to find them... please..." The sharp, sterile hospital smells assaulted his nose, the bright fluorescent lighting bombarded reddened, sensitive eyes and it was all Lex could do to keep from grabbing the woman from over the desk and demanding that she show him where Clark and Brandon were.

The trembling desperation in his voice sank like a stone into the sudden silence of the waiting room and the polished expression on the nurse's face softened into sympathy. She glanced quickly at the curious faces staring at Lex, before stepping around the desk and motioning towards a set of swinging doors.

"Right this way, Mr. Luthor. They've taken the boy into one of the triage suites." Lex swallowed past the surge of acid in his throat that her words brought and followed her through the doors on wooden, shaking legs.

No amount of reality television could've prepared Lex for the sights and sounds of an ER in the midst of dealing with a three car pileup with multiple injured. Medical personnel swarmed across every section of the floor, shouting for equipment, medications, any available set of hands. The nurse grasped Lex's elbow and deftly led him past one of the busier alcoves, his eyes barely registering the splashes of blood on linoleum tile or the grotesque imagery of splintered bone jutting from flesh - the screaming adult buried in the sea of doctors and nurses wasn't Brandon and that was all that mattered to him at the moment.

They'd barely gone another step when Clark backed through the curtains of the next suite, pale and shaking, his face grey and his eyes focused on the sight before him. One look at his lover and the blood froze in Lex's veins, his own trembling growing steadily worse with each painful beat of his heart.

"Clark..." The raw, pleading in the name was barely a whisper but it was enough for the other man to hear.

"Lex. Oh God, Lex..." Then there was no space between them. He was being wrapped in badly shaking arms and crushed to Clark's chest almost as soon as the words were spoken. Face nearly buried in Clark's worn shirt, Lex forced the words out past the dread threatening to still his vocal cords.

"Brandon.. is he..." A shake of the head resting against his own and some of the terror retreated.

"They gave him something to stop the seizures. They're... the fever dehydrated him so they're putting an IV in to give him fluids. I wanted to stay in there, Lex, hold his hand even if he didn't know I was there, but I couldn't. I felt so... God, I felt so sick, I was afraid I was going to throw up."

The heavy layer of guilt creeping into Clark's voice spurred Lex on past the frightening images his lover's words were conjuring in his mind. Leaning back slightly, he raised a hand to brush sweat dampened hair away from the other man's brow, a soothing smile on his face.

"Hey, it's OK, Clark. You're scared of what's happening and so am I. But Brandon will be OK, you'll see. I'll fly in the best specialists in children's medicine if it comes to that. He'll be fine." Lex put all of the conviction he could into his words, firmly shoving his own fears and concern deep down and hoping desperately that Clark wouldn't see it in his eyes. When the tall frame holding him relaxed ever so slightly, he breathed a quiet sigh of relief and gently stroked Clark's cheek before stepping back from his embrace.

"Let me... let me just go see how he's doing and I'll be right back, OK?" A mute nod was the only response he received as he turned slowly to face the partially drawn curtains. Swallowing hard and forcing his face into a blank mask, Lex slowly pushed the curtain aside and stepped into the room. And froze at the sight before him.

A nurse was finishing taping an IV to the back of one tiny hand, while a young man in a white coat was busy shining a light into Brandon's rolled up eyes. Both of them looked up as Lex made a small sound in the back of his throat and the young man immediately snapped the light off and stepped forward, holding out his hand.

"Mr. Luthor, I take it? My name is Dr. Simmons, I'm the doctor in charge of your son's care." Lex continued to stare at Brandon's still form over the doctor's shoulder even as he mechanically shook the other man's hand. Dr. Simmons followed the path of his gaze and smiled sympathetically as he released his hand.

"Brandon's doing better already. We managed to stop the seizures with a small mixture of phenobarbital and valium. His fever still concerns me but the alcohol rub the nurses have given him has managed to reduce it to a less dangerous level." Finally managing to tear his eyes away from the tiny figure on the hospital bed, Lex stared at the doctor for a moment. When he spoke, he barely recognized his own voice.

"What... what caused this? Is he going to be OK?"

"Mr. Luthor, it's not unheard of for young children to experience seizures when running high fevers. Preliminary examination suggests no other cause for Brandon's convulsions, but I'd like to have a CAT scan run on him just to be sure. His vital signs are strong and for the most part, he's showing no other symptoms that wouldn't be concurrent with a bad case of the flu."

"For the most part?" The doctor furrowed his brows briefly at Lex's sharpened gaze, before shaking his head.

"He's sweating a bit more than is normal but that can easily be attributed to his body's reaction to the fever." Nodding slowly, Lex wet dry lips before speaking again.

"There's no other anomalies aside from that?"

"No. Basic blood work came back showing no presence of foreign chemicals or poisons, nothing to indicate he might have ingested something to cause this. His white blood cell count was elevated but again, that's perfectly normal for a child who's body is trying to fight off an infection like the flu." Exhaling slowly, Lex was acutely aware of Clark stepping into the room behind him.

"So he's going to be OK? You think this is just a virus he picked up?" The doctor looked over his shoulder briefly before nodding with a sympathetic smile on his face.

"Yes, I do. In fact, as long as his fever doesn't elevate again and the CAT scan comes back normal, I'd say he can go home as soon as tomorrow. I'll prescribe anti-seizure medication just in case, but I doubt you'll have to use it. Regular doses of Children's Advil should manage to keep his fever down until the virus works its way out of his system. Of course, I'll give you my pager number should anything come up or you have any further questions."

"Thank you, Doctor," Lex forced himself to nod in response, focus split between Brandon, the doctor's words and the sense that Clark was swaying slightly behind him.

"If you'll both excuse me now, I'd like to get Brandon up to Radiology so we can get that CAT scan taken. You can have a seat in the waiting room and I'll have one of the nurses come to take you to his room when we're done." Nodding wordlessly, Lex watched as the doctor and nurse effortlessly transferred Brandon to a waiting gurney, the bag of fluids laid gently across his small form. Stepping aside as they wheeled him past into the hallway, Lex felt Clark's shaking hand come to rest on the small of his back. Breathing out slowly and forcing his face into an expression of reassurance, he turned to face his lover. And was shocked by the clammy, grey pallor of Clark's face.

"Clark? Clark, are you OK?" Even as he watched, some of the color returned to the taller man's face as Clark nodded slowly.

"I just... I felt sick again for a minute. I guess... I guess I just can't handle seeing Brandon like that." Frowning slightly, something dancing on the edges of his thoughts that wouldn't come into focus, Lex shook his head and ran a hand up Clark's arm to rest on his shoulder. Fingers kneading lightly, he gently ushered his lover out into the hallway and towards the small waiting room nearby.

"He'll be OK, Clark, you heard the doctor. It's just the flu. Once they're done with their tests and he's had a chance to rest a little, we'll be able to bring him home again." Pushing Clark's unresisting body down into one of the chairs, Lex collapsed into the seat beside him and linked their hands together, squeezing tightly.

"Brandon will be fine, Clark, I promise," he whispered softly, eyes focused on the elevator that had taken their son up to Radiology while his thumb stroked the back of Clark's hand. Unable to do anything but offer comfort and hold tightly to the hope that the young doctor was right.

 

*********

 

An hour had ticked by on the wall clock before a nurse approached them.

"Mr. Luthor, Mr. Kent? If you'll come with me, I'll show you to Brandon's room now." Both Lex and Clark has risen immediately to their feet before she'd even begun to speak and now nodded gratefully at her words.

"The CAT scan... is Brandon OK?" Clark's rough voice broke the quiet silence as they followed the nurse through the hallway leading to private rooms and Lex squeezed his hand again, both their gazes focused on the back of the nurse's head as she shook it.

"The radiologist will read the films and give Dr. Simmons his findings. Once they've spoken, I'm sure Dr. Simmons will be by to let you know the results." Forcing down the urge to demand Dr. Simmons get the results *now*, Lex pasted a wan smile on his face as the nurse opened the door to room 217 and ushered them in.

"Thank you." The woman nodded politely and drew two chairs up to the dimly lit bedside before moving again for the door.

"Brandon is being monitored directly from the nursing station, but should you need anything, just press the call button beside his bed." With those parting words, she drew the door quietly closed behind her, leaving both Clark and Lex to stare silently at the small form nearly buried beneath a blue blanket and white hospital sheets.

Eyes flickering to the quietly beeping array of machines that lined the opposite side of the bed, Lex was first to step forward. A moment past before he heard Clark begin to shuffle forward behind him. Then the shuffling stopped and Lex turned towards his lover, a hand braced to pull out one of the chairs for him. The greyness was back in Clark's face and his body was trembling slightly, eyes wide.

Eyes narrowing in concern, Lex immediately took a step towards the taller man as he began to sway slightly.

"Clark? Clark, are you OK?" Raised a hand to wipe at the thin sheen of sweat on Clark's forehead and had to fight not to let the surge of worry in the pit of his stomach show on his face.

"Lex... I feel sick again. I feel sick when I try to go near him." The horrified whisper was nothing compared to the growing panic in Clark's eyes and Lex felt his blood turn to ice. He was amazed that his voice came out steady despite the fear beginning to pound his heart against his ribcage.

"Clark, you don't get sick. It's just... you're worried, that's all." Clark shook his head vehemently at Lex's words, raising a shaking hand up between them and turning it in the light.

"No, Lex, it's not just worry. Look at my skin, Lex. There's only one thing that does that to me and you know it."


	18. Chapter 18

Lex stared silently at the raised veins pulsing across the waxy, shrunken skin of Clark's hand. Stared and swallowed, trying very hard not to be sick, both hands braced on the taller man's shoulders.

Kryptonite.

Somehow, some way, Brandon had been tainted. Poisoned. Infected...

Looking up at Clark with stricken eyes, he barely heard his own whispered voice above the pounding in his head.

"Clark..."

"Oh my, I do hope I'm not interrupting anything." Smooth, mocking tone and fear instantly morphed into rage. Turning sharply away from Clark towards the door, distantly aware of a warm hand settling on the small of his back, Lex's eyes narrowed as he took in the sight of his father leaning idly against the now open doorway.

"What are you doing here, Dad." Flat, cold voice. Not a question but a demand.

"Really, Lex. Did you honestly think that the 'mysterious, adopted son of Metropolis' premiere gay couple' arriving at the hospital in the middle of the night would go unnoticed? Or that your rather... dramatic entrance to the same hospital, not to mention your disheveled appearance, wouldn't attract attention? It's been on every news station for the past hour, Lex. I merely came by to offer my sympathies and see how the poor boy was faring."

"You don't honestly expect me to believe that you're here because you're concerned. Why are you really here, Dad?" The words were forced out past tightly clenched teeth, his jaw ached with the effort of keeping his voice under control, and it was only Clark's presence at his back that kept Lex from spitting the words at his father.

The smug smile that slithered onto Lionel's face had his hands fisting at his sides in response.

"I'm simply concerned about my... grandson, Lex. After all, I've been told that high fevers and seizures can have such dire consequences in a child so young. So... vulnerable and defenseless against all manner of things." Between the cold amusement in his father's eyes and the carefully chosen words delivered in the same dry, taunting tone of voice Lionel usually reserved for gloating over his victories, Lex's control snapped.

Twisting his shoulder sharply away from Clark's hand, he stalked towards his father with narrowed eyes. Eyes that noted with grim satisfaction that Lionel took an involuntary step back at whatever he saw in Lex's expression, before stiffening and meeting his son's glare head on. Lex came to a halt inches away from him and leaned in close, all of the ruthlessness that Lionel had drilled into him and Clark had spent years trying to help him overcome rising to the surface in a surge of rage.

"If I find out that you are responsible for what's happened to Brandon, there is nowhere you can hide that will keep you safe from me. I will track you down, I will find you and I *will* kill you." Lex felt his lips curl up into a bleak smile at the brief flash of fear that skittered across his father's eyes before they grew hooded once more.

"What would your son think of such a blatant disregard for the law, Lex? What would such a delicate child think of having a murderer for a father?" Lex's lips thin, the smile falling from his face at the thought of Brandon repulsed by him. The words were a direct, painful hit and from the smile that slowly spread on Lionel's face, his father knew it would be.

"Get out. Now." The other man took a step back, shook his head and chuckled.

"Temper, temper, Lex. One day it will get the better of you." Then he turned and was gone, leaving Lex to stare at the now empty doorway.

Slow, careful touch against his shoulder and he still couldn't keep himself from flinching. A part of him sickened by the realization of how much a Luthor he still was, of the violent urges swirling around inside of him, and the irrational, desperate fear of that taint spreading to anyone who touched him.

"Lex..."

"Clark... don't, just... don't..." The fingers refused to leave his shoulder, instead stroking lightly back and forth.

"Why not?"

"I could kill him, Clark..." Soft puff of breath against his scalp and then strong arms were sliding around him, bringing him back against Clark's chest.

"But you won't."

"You don't know that, Clark. If he's responsible for Brandon..."

"You won't because you're better than he is, Lex. If he's responsible for Brandon being sick, he'll pay. But we'll let the law handle it. I won't let you carry the weight of having his blood on your hands." Broad hands wrapped around numb fingers and gently rubbed the warmth back into them. Lex held himself stiff for a moment longer, before shuddering and collapsing back into the reassurance of his lover's embrace.

"I fight every day to keep from turning into him, Clark, and all it takes is a threat to Brandon and I'm falling right back into the same mold..." Clark's arms tightened around him as the taller man's chin came to rest on his shoulder.

"Lex, you will never become Lionel. You love Brandon and you want to protect him, so do I. That's normal. That's part of being a father. What matters is *how* you protect him."

"I won't let him hurt Brandon or you, Clark. I won't." Soft brush of lips against his cheek and Lex exhaled slowly.

"I know, Lex, I know. Whatever happens, we'll figure something out. Together, OK?"

"Right. Together, Clark." Lex mechanically patted the hand resting on his stomach as he continued to stare at the empty space where his father had stood and tried to keep the darkness hovering at the edges of his mind from overwhelming him completely.

 

*********

 

Hours later, Lex sat motionless and awake in a chair by Brandon's bedside, ice blue eyes fixed on the still form and ears listening to the steady beeps of the monitors. Clark was slumped in another chair a few feet behind him, as close as he could possibly get without the Kryptonite seeping from Brandon's pores rendering him curled in agony on the floor.

The quiet clearing of a throat at the door brought Lex's head up and around, and he had to blink his eyes several times to register the identity of the figure standing there.

"Shari?" A slow nod and Lex rose silently from his chair, glancing at Brandon before reluctantly joining his personal secretary in the hospital hallway. The unforgiving fluorescent lighting did nothing to soften the lines of exhaustion on the woman's face, nor the clear concern that radiated from her expression.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Luthor, but you weren't answering your cell phone and I thought you should know." Frowning slightly, his own exhaustion making it difficult for him to focus on anything besides the contents of the room behind him, Lex shook his head. He took the familiar cell phone she held out to him and tilted his head in question.

"Know what?"

"That there are hundreds of reporters camped outside the hospital, all clamoring for a statement from either you or Mr. Kent. I've put them off as long as I can, but I'm afraid they're not going to be patient much longer." The gentle apology in her voice finally penetrated through the haze that surrounded Lex's thoughts and he sighed quietly.

"Tell them I'll give them a full statement once Brandon's released and home again. Until then, all they need to know is that he's suffering from a bad case of the flu and the doctors expect him to recover fully." Shari nodded at his words, scribbled something in her ever-present pad and then tilted her head up to regard him hesitantly.

"Is... is he going to be OK, Mr. Luthor? I don't mean to pry and I certainly would never share it with the press. I just... he's such a sweet boy..." The hushed, emotional voice of his usually aggressive and energetic assistant brought the deep aching worry back into sharp focus once more and Lex had to swallow hard before he could force a response past a tightened throat.

"He's dehydrated, but they stopped the seizures and... and they're fairly certain that he's going to recover fully. They just want to observe him a little longer to be sure, before they let us take him... take him home..." The cracking of his voice didn't register to Lex until he felt Shari's slim fingers gently patting his forearm. Shaken by the gesture, he looked up and was met by a sympathetic smile.

"If the doctors say he'll be fine, Mr. Luthor, then I'm sure they're right. I'll give your brief statement to the press and then I'll return to the office. If there's anything you need, anything at all, just call." Some of the briskness had returned to her voice and Lex felt his lips twist into a weak smile.

"Shari, you do realize it's 4 in the morning, don't you? I don't pay you enough to have to deal with crises in my personal life, especially not at this hour." Shari regarded him silently for a moment before her own mouth curled into a soft smile and she shrugged.

"I know, Mr. Luthor, but money's not the only reason to do things. Sometimes it's just the right thing to do." Quietly spoken, gentle words and then she turned away. Lex stared after her, speechless with eyes blinking furiously, before he was finally able to turn back to the hospital room. He spared a glance for a still sleeping Clark before he began to sink back down into his chair.

Another hour passed and his eyelids were beginning to drop despite his best efforts when he heard it. The tiniest of whimpers came from the shape on the bed and Lex was rising instantly from his chair to hover over Brandon.

"Brandon? Brandon, it's OK, we're here. Daddy Clark and I, we're here, it's OK." Another louder whimper and then glassy brown eyes were fluttering open slowly.

"Daddy?" Then Brandon's gaze was slipping past him to stare at the row of machines, at the tubes and wires that trailed from them to his own body and the boy began to shake.

"Daddy..." This time, the voice was louder, trembling with fear as wide eyes began to fill with tears, and Lex was sliding onto the bed and pulling the tiny body into his arms before he was even aware of moving.

"Hey... hey, it's OK.... shhh, there's nothing to be scared of, Brandon, I promise."

"I want to go home..." Plaintive wail partially muffled into his shoulder and Lex heard Clark shift and rise from the chair behind him. He ran his hands soothingly up and down the paper gown that covered Brandon's back and pressed his cheek to the top of the boy's head.

"You've been sick, Brandon, the doctors have to make sure you're OK first. We can't go home just yet..." Brandon pushed weakly back from his chest, tear-streaked face wrinkling up as he twisted to look over Lex's shoulder at Clark. Thin arms left their resting spot around Lex's neck, lifted up towards the other man in a desperate plea, and Lex heard Clark take a step forward, then another, before Kryptonite tainted sweat forced him to stumble backwards in pain.

"Daddy, please... I wanna go home..." Lex had to clench his eyes shut against the heartbreaking sound of his son's terrified begging and his lover's choked response.

"Brandon... Brandon, I can't... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I can't..." Brandon's hiccuping breaths turned into sobs as the boy buried his face in Lex's chest once more and Lex could feel his own cheeks growing wet as he wrapped an arm around the shaking frame of his son and rocked back and forth gently.

"It'll be OK, Brandon... shhh... you'll see... " The sound of helpless, barely smothered weeping behind him tore mercilessly into Lex and he reached out blindly until he felt slick, shaking fingers grip his hand tightly.

"Everything will be OK. I promise you, everything will be OK..."


	19. Chapter 19

It was nearly noon before the doctors finally pronounced Brandon safe to take home. Medication was provided in the event the seizures returned, and instructions were given to dose him regularly with Children's Advil until his fever completely broke. All were dispensed in kind, reassuring voices and Lex made a mental note to show his thanks with a sizable donation to the hospital.

Rubbing a heavy hand over his scalp and willing the exhaustion away for the moment, Lex forced a smile to his face as the nurse finished deftly dressing Brandon and gruffly thanked her as she quietly slipped from the room. Exhaling slowly, his gaze turned to where Clark hovered near the door and the expression on his face softened.

"Shari said the limo is waiting at the curb. You ready to leave?" He didn't ask whether Clark was ready to face the swarm of reporters he knew were waiting for them outside. In the beginning, their relationship had garnered some attention from the press but as each year passed without a single betrayal or public argument, that attention had quickly shifted to more gossip-worthy public figures. They'd never had to face a barrage of microphones and intensely personal questions shouted as if they were asking nothing more than the time of day.

Brandon's illness and their dramatic arrival at the hospital had changed all that. Gone was the buffer of privacy, the illusion of normalcy that Lex had worked so hard to build for Clark. Now was definitely not the right time but they didn't have a choice. Shaking his head in a vain attempt to keep the muscles in his neck relaxed, Lex looked up as Clark took first one step then another towards him. The expression on his lover's face nearly forced him to close his eyes against what he saw there. Love. Devotion. Strength beyond measure balanced by soft need. Emotions he'd never thought himself worthy of until he'd met Clark, all directed towards him.

"I'm ready, Lex." Simple, quietly spoken words answered far more than the question he'd verbalized. Reaching out, he gently trailed his fingers across Clark's cheek. He needed the touch to anchor himself in the face of what was coming. Green eyes closed and a dark head bowed as Clark pressed his face into the hand stroking it, and Lex could feel the tumult inside quieting. Inhaling deeply, he reluctantly drew his hand away and stepped back, turning to face the bed and a lightly sedated Brandon.

Glassy, confused brown eyes stared up at him from beneath tangled and sweat-dampened hair, but the boy didn't hesitate to raise his arms up as Lex bent towards him. Carefully lifting Brandon's feather-light weight and cradling the child to his chest, Lex closed his eyes for a moment as thin arms wrapped around his neck and a small face pressed against his collarbone. Forcing them open once more, he turned to face Clark, who was carefully hovering as close as he could to them both, thinned lips and paler features the only sign of the pain the kryptonite-tainted sweat was causing him. Clark, who smiled weakly at them both before he turned to open the room's door and stepped into the hallway. Clark, who kept the smile fixed on his face even as the close confines of the elevator turned his skin clammy and brought his veins rippling to the surface.

Clark, whose smile slipped for a moment when he stepped from the elevator and saw what awaited them on the other side of the hydraulic glass doors.

"I'll go first. That way I can get the door to the limo open before you take him outside."

"I'm not letting you go out there alone." Fierce, green eyes turned to focus on him and Lex could see the muscle in Clark's jaw tighten.

"And I'm not going to let either you or Brandon spend any more time than necessary exposed to that pack of vultures." Lex shook his head at the firm, possessive tone in Clark's voice, a small but genuine smile finally finding its way to his own face.

"Have you forgotten that you're a reporter too?" Clark shook his head at Lex's words and turned to glare at the milling crowd outside the hospital.

"A real reporter doesn't try to stir up trouble or cause pain on purpose." Sighing at the grim determination in Clark's tone, Lex looked down at the top of Brandon's head as he answered quietly.

"Make it quick, Clark. I'm not going to like you being out there without me." The ghost of a touch against his own cheek and Lex looked back up to catch the fleeting smile on Clark's face.

"We'll be safely home before you know it, Lex." Then he was gone and Lex could hear the uproar that greeted him as the doors slid open. Drawing slow, deep breaths, he willed his face into the same neutral mask that had served him for so long and stepped out of the elevator with leaden feet. Turning to face the exit, his step faltered and his arms tightened instinctively at the sight that greeted him.

There had to be well over a hundred people pressing against the temporary barriers the hospital's security had erected, all waving microphones and cameras at Clark as he made his way to the waiting limousine. Swallowing past a dry throat, Lex pressed Brandon's face closer to his chest and waited until Clark waved to him over the crowd. Taking a deep breath, he began to walk towards the doors with a smooth, measured pace that belied the anxiety building with each step he took. He could withstand anything they threw at him - God knew, he already had in his earlier, infinitely wilder days. But he'd never wanted to expose Brandon to any of it. He could already see the crowd's attention shifting from Clark to him with rabid intensity. The best he could do now was hope that Brandon didn't hear too much. And move quickly. Glass doors parted and he was deafened by shouted words the instant he stepped outside.

"Mr. Luthor, any comment on your... son's sudden illness?"

"Mr. Luthor, our sources say that Brandon has leukemia. Can you confirm that for us?"

"Mr. Luthor, is Brandon dying?"

Keeping his eyes fixed on the limo, Lex continued to walk through the narrow gap security had created until a slick, goading voice shouted above the rest and froze him in his tracks.

"Lex, is Brandon's illness due to neglect?" Brandon squirmed against the sudden clenching of Lex's hands and icy blue eyes skimmed the crowd until they settled on the predatory smile on the face of the Inquirer's reporter, a smile that only grew wider at the expression on Lex's face, the voice sounding pleased with itself as it continued.

"After all, you can hardly expect two *gay* men to know anything at all about proper parenting. So tell us, Lex, how did Brandon get sick?" Acid churned in his stomach and Lex was in the process of opening his mouth to share just what he thought of the so-called reporter when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. Looking up to see Clark shaking his head, a tightly pinched expression of fury on his face, Lex swallowed his own anger and allowed himself to be steered back towards the refuge of the limousine.

Keeping his arms tightly wrapped around Brandon, he ducked his head to avoid knocking it as he slid into the back and the door slammed shut behind him. A moment later, Clark was joining the driver up front, closing the door behind him and shutting out the continuing noise of the crowd, leaving only the sound of a quietly whimpering Brandon. Laying his cheek against soft hair, Lex rubbed his hand soothingly across the boy's back, even as he heard Clark shifting up front to face them over the divider.

"Shhh, Brandon, it's okay. You're safe now, everything's going to be okay." His heart clenched against the soft sniffling and the growing dampness of his shirt beneath Brandon's face.

"I don't want to die, Daddy!" The terrified wail startled Lex and he had to grab quickly to keep the squirming boy from falling out of his lap. Suppressing the sudden, burning desire to track down each and every one of the soulless reporters who had shouted questions at him, Lex renewed his stroking in an attempt to comfort Brandon.

"You are NOT going to die, Brandon. You're just a little sick. Do you know what doctors are, Brandon?" A weak nod in between hiccuping sobs and Lex looked up briefly to meet Clark's gaze, shaking his head silently at the mix of rage and helpless concern he saw there.

"Well, doctors are very smart people and they know all about being sick. The doctors at the hospital say that you're going to be just fine, Brandon, that you only need time to rest and some medicine before you'll be running and playing again. Do you believe me?" Another nod, the sobs slowly dying down as Brandon pulled slightly away from Lex's shirt to look up at him, a frown forming on his tear-streaked face.

"I don't want medicine. Medicine is bad." Meeting Brandon's frown with one of his own, it took a moment before Lex made the connection between the boy's words and what 'medicine' he was likely thinking of. Forcing his face into a gentler expression, despite the sick feeling in his stomach, he slowly shook his head as he wiped Brandon's cheeks dry with the edges of his fingers.

"It's not that kind of medicine, Brandon, I promise. This is medicine that will make you better, not sicker, okay?" A long, silent moment passed where Brandon simply stared back at him before tentatively nodding. The boy's thin frame slowly slumped back down against Lex, small hands twisting to grasp his shirt tightly, and Lex almost missed the tired, plaintively whispered words.

"I want to go home, Daddy. Please." Bowing his head once more to rest against Brandon's, Lex nodded.

"We're on our way home now, Brandon, don't worry. Once we get home, all you have to do is take a little bit of medicine, then you can fall asleep in our bed with your favorite teddy bear. How does that sound?"

"Can I have some ice cream first?" A small smile crept onto Lex's face at the slow, hopeful tone of the boy's voice and he shook his head.

"No ice cream yet, but maybe you can have an ice pop - if you take your medicine first."

"OK, Daddy, I'll take my medicine first. Then can I have two ice pops?" This time, Lex chuckled under his breath at the tentative, bargaining tone. If Brandon felt well enough to even attempt that, then perhaps things weren't as bad as he'd feared.

"No, only one ice pop." Looking up with inexplicably burning eyes, Lex met the smile on Clark's face with a relieved one of his own. A quiet sigh against his chest drew his attention back to the boy.

"Okay, Daddy, I take my medicine and get one ice pop," Brandon murmured, mouth stretching into a yawn before he shifted closer to Lex and closed his eyes.

"Deal. Don't worry, we'll be home soon and then you can sleep all you want."

 

*********

Brandon only stirred slightly as Lex lifted him from the car and carried him inside to the penthouse elevator, and he almost regretted having to wake him once they were safely home. But the doctors had been quite insistent on the need for him to take some sort of fever reducer and Lex had every intention of strictly adhering to their instructions. The sooner Brandon was healthy again, the sooner Lex would actually be able to sleep.

Brandon whined his complaint when Lex gently shook him awake in the kitchen, but he dutifully swallowed the liquid Children's Advil with little fuss and held his hand out for the sugar-free ice pop Lex took from Clark. Clinging to Lex with one arm and sucking quietly on the end of the pop, Brandon fell asleep with it still in his mouth. Prying it carefully from his limp hand, Lex handed it back to Clark and made his way through the dimly lit hallway to their bedroom.

Settling Brandon's sleeping form against a pile of pillows, Lex drew the covers up over the boy and spent a moment gently stroking the hair back from his slack face. Blinking his eyes rapidly against the renewed burning there, he stood up quickly and turned to exit the room.

And ran square into Clark's chest. Before he had the chance to step away and apologize, strong arms were wrapping around him and holding him tightly, soft kisses brushing against his scalp while broad hands rubbed his back soothingly.

"It's okay. He's going to be fine. I'll be right here, I can sleep on the floor. It's okay." Quietly whispered words that made Lex clench his eyes shut and bury his damp face against Clark's neck.

"I know, I know." A shift of Clark's head and then gently breathed against his ear.

"It's okay, Lex. Shhh, it's okay..." Neither of them spoke after that. They simply stood there in the doorway and held each other close.


	20. Chapter 20

It was a measure of how exhausted he was that Lex hardly protested when Clark urged him to try to get some sleep. Instead, he kicked off the spare pair of shoes that Shari had brought to the hospital for him and carefully climbed into bed beside the motionless form of their son. Lowering himself slowly to lie on his back with one arm curled around Brandon, he watched silently as Clark pulled a chair close to the edge of the bed and breathed out a weary sigh as he slumped down into it.

"I love you." Quietly spoken words that were certainly no stranger to his lips but which somehow, over the course of the past several days, seemed to have gained even greater meaning.

Clark looked up with a surprised expression on his face, as if he'd actually expected Lex to have fallen asleep already. That look quickly gave way to a soft smile, exhaustion momentarily disappearing beneath the intensity of love in his green eyes as he reached out to trail his fingers over the back of Lex's hand. Lex turned his own hand over to grasp tightly at his lover's and was rewarded with a gentle squeeze.

"I love you too, Lex. More and more every day." Softly uttered words, no louder than his own, but ones that made all of the pain and fear bearable as long as he had *this*.

"Now get some rest. I know you hardly slept while we were at the hospital," Clark continued, reluctantly drawing his hand free when the veins in it began to raise from Brandon's proximity. Lex smiled, shaking his head even as his lids began to droop.

"You didn't sleep either."

"And which one of us is the alien who doesn't really need to sleep at all anymore?" Still grinning, Lex finally let his eyes fall closed as he answered.

"You use that as an excuse for everything."

The last thing Lex heard as he drifted off was the soft sound of Clark's laughter.

 

*********

 

He awoke to the sound of his heart thudding in his ears and his own panicked gasps for breath, the lingering remnants of his nightmare tightening his chest with fear and guilt. Then a broad hand was lifting him effortlessly from the bed, strong arms wrapping around him and the comforting rumble of Clark's voice was vibrating against his back.

"Hey... hey, calm down. You're awake now. We're home, it's okay." Low, soothing tone in his ear and Lex strained to force his breathing back to normal as he unclenched his eyes to stare at where Brandon lay on his stomach, his sleep undisturbed. Exhaling slowly, Lex looked down at the thick, muscular thighs that framed his own and forced a lightness to his voice that he didn't feel.

"Not that I don't appreciate being in your lap, Clark, but I don't think now's the time..." He could feel Clark shake his head in response and the words died in his throat.

"Lex..." There was gentle chastisement filling Clark's words and Lex let himself sink back into his lover's arms while he worked to put into words the fear that had ripped him from sleep.

"I had... It was a nightmare." His voice was rough and jarring to his own ears, and the arms around him gave a gentle squeeze of encouragement. His eyes focused again on Brandon, Lex fought back the nearly overwhelming urge to shake the boy awake. Just to make sure he was still *there*.

"I dreamed... I dreamed that..." Lex shook his head. "Do we really have to talk about it, Clark? It was just a bad dream, that's all."

"I know what your nightmares are like, Lex. You'll feel better if you talk about it." Warm hands stroked up and down his own arms and Lex sighed, leaning back a little further into Clark's chest.

"It was Brandon. I dreamed he was dying and that he blamed me. Blamed us. For not saving him." The words fell out in a rush and Lex had to clench his eyes shut against the threatening tightness in his chest and just concentrate on breathing for several long minutes. Had to forcibly will away the images of a bloodied, wraithlike Brandon staring at him with accusing eyes and condemnation in his tiny voice.

This time the squeeze of Clark's arms was tighter as he rested his chin on Lex's bowed shoulder.

"Oh, Lex. You know Brandon doesn't blame us, you know it's not our fault that he got sick. Kids get sick all the time, the important thing is that the doctors say he's going to be just fine. Let it go, Lex, just let it go."

"I can't. I feel like I failed him somehow," Lex whispered, his voice raw with the admission that made his chest feel strangely looser.

"No parent can keep their child from getting sick, it's just part of growing up. He's going to have colds and stomach viruses and sore throats and plenty more, and there's going to be nothing for us to do but give him medicine to keep him as comfortable as possible while whatever it is works its way out of his system."

As the truth of Clark's words slowly sank in, Lex could feel his heart rate beginning to return to normal and he sighed quietly. Reaching up to twine his fingers with those that were stroking his stomach, he regarded the back of Clark's hands with a small smile.

"Since when did you learn so much about children?"

"Another advantage to being an alien - it's called speed-reading." Glancing at the clock on the wall, Lex shook his head and grinned.

"Okay, Mr. Know-it-all. It's time to give Brandon another dose, so you can let me up now." Swatting lightly at Clark's hands, Lex leaned forward, noting with displeasure the way his sweat-drenched shirt clung to Clark's before peeling away with a wet sucking sound. The hands on his waist tightened, freezing him in place.

"You're sweating a lot." Gone was Clark's easy tone, replaced by the slightest tremble of fear in an otherwise tightly controlled voice. It was Lex's turn to run soothing hands up and down his lover's forearms while he shook his head.

"It's from the nightmare, Clark. I don't really get sick, remember?"

"It's just... I couldn't..." Clark's voice had dropped to nearly a whisper and Lex could feel a faint shiver run through his broad frame, one that reminded him that he wasn't the only one feeling the weight of fear in the face of uncertainty.

"It's okay, I feel fine. Everything's okay." After a long moment, Clark's hands finally released Lex and he rose to his feet, turning to face him as Clark exhaled slowly and looked up at him with a weak smile.

"Sorry. I just got a little worried for a minute there." Smiling back at him, Lex gently stroked one cheek.

"There's nothing for you to apologize for, Clark. With everything that's going on, we're both a little on edge." The last of the tension bled from Clark's body and Lex returned his attention to Brandon. Picking up the bottle of Children's Advil from the night table, he carefully measured the appropriate dose as he spoke over his shoulder.

"Why don't you get the ice pop while I wake him? That way he'll be less likely to fuss about having to take more medicine." A nod of assent and a fleeting kiss on his cheek were all the response Lex received before his ears picked up the muffled sound of Clark opening the refrigerator door. Smiling, he circled the bed to the side Brandon was sleeping on and placing the plastic dispensing cup down on the night table, sank down to sit next to the boy. Lex rubbed his back before taking hold of his shoulder and shaking gently.

"Brandon, I need you to wake up for a little bit to take some medicine." A moment of silence before Brandon whined into the pillow, shaking his head and curling further into himself.

"I promise the medicine will help you feel better and Daddy Clark's already gone to get your pop, okay?" Tousled brown hair slipped from Brandon's face as he turned his head to regard the door with a doubtful eye, just as Clark entered with an ice pop in hand. Brandon slowly rolled over, chewing lightly on his lip as he looked up at Lex.

"Do I have to, Daddy? I don't like the medicine, it tastes bad." There was more than a little crankiness in the boy's voice and Lex stroked his face soothingly, shaking his head as he did so.

"Yes, Brandon, you have to take it. But I promise that the ice will make the bad taste go away and then you can sleep more if you like." Their son's face screwed up even more as he looked briefly at Clark before returning his gaze to Lex.

"If I take the medicine, can I eat the pop and watch some TV too?" Smothering the completely inappropriate urge to grin at Brandon's instincts for bargaining, Lex nodded slowly, one eyebrow raised in warning.

"You can watch TV for a little bit, but then you have to promise that you'll go back to sleep without argument." Picking up the medicine, Lex waited until Brandon nodded.

"I promise, Daddy." Smiling down at him, Lex cupped the back of Brandon's head as he lifted the cup to the boy's mouth. Placing it back on the table once he was finished, Lex took the proffered ice pop from Clark and handed it to Brandon, who immediately began to suck contentedly on the end. Lex climbed to his feet and, bending down, carefully lifted Brandon's slight weight from the bed and cradled him to his chest. Turning towards the door, his smile grew when he saw Clark already there waiting for the both of them.

"You go ahead and get him settled on the couch, I'll get some of the blankets from his room and his pillow, so he can be comfortable." Nodding, Lex waited until Clark had safely stepped away from the doorway before carrying Brandon down the hall to the den.

Setting the boy carefully down on the soft couch, Lex kept one supportive arm around Brandon as he watched the ice pop slowly disappear. It wasn't long before Clark rejoined them, coming as close as he dared to hold the blankets and pillow out to Lex. Who continued to smile as he tucked them around the child, the nightmare of earlier fading from his mind beneath the soft, contended sounds Brandon was making as he snuggled into the blankets.

 

*********

 

A half hour later, with Clark keeping a careful eye on Brandon while the boy watched TV, Lex moved from cabinet to cabinet in the kitchen. He was searching for the thermometer he was pretty certain they owned - not that they'd ever used it, but he knew it was there *somewhere*. He just had to find it. Opening the cabinet next to the sink, he lunged forward in an attempt to catch the bag of assorted candies that came falling out. His efforts were only partly successful and he was left holding a handful of hard candies and lollipops, while the rest of the bag spilled across the counter top.

Groaning under his breath, frustration thinning his lips, Lex was in the process of reaching for the now empty bag when he froze, eyes staring down at his partially closed hand. Riveted on the green lollipop that stood out from amidst the reds and blues of the other candies.

A green lollipop. The only thing that Brandon had eaten since they'd adopted him that *hadn't* been given directly from either Clark or Lex's hands.

Green.

Kryptonite.

A tidal wave of fury swept over him, his vision turned red and he was distantly aware of the sound of candy cracking to pieces inside his clenched fist.

The secretary at LexCorp had fed his son poisoned candy, no doubt at the urging of someone else. He already had his suspicions as to exactly *who* was behind it all.

It didn't matter who it was. Once he got his hands on them, they would rue the day they dared to harm Brandon. He would make sure of it if it was the last thing he did.


	21. Chapter 21

Lex didn't think, couldn't think. Brandon wasn't just sick, someone had *made* him sick. The panic, the soul-shaking terror that had ripped through him when he'd opened his eyes and saw that tiny body jerking with pain... All of it, intentional.

In that moment, the concept of right and wrong ceased to exist. There was no internal struggle, no morality, and no dark haired conscience staring back at him. There was simply the all-consuming desire to find the one responsible, to rip and tear until there were only pieces left. The all-consuming *need* to find the threat and obliterate it from the face of the earth.

The secretary, his father, they'd *hurt* Brandon. For whatever reason, for whatever they had thought to gain, they'd nearly killed a defenseless little boy. A boy who, despite being born into a world that had done nothing but hurt him, could still smile up at Lex with all the innocent acceptance of a child and call him 'Daddy'.

They had hurt his *son* and that was simply... unacceptable.

Walking on stiff, wooden legs across the kitchen, Lex slowly uncurled his clenched fist and numbly brushed the cracked remains of the lollipop into the trash. He stood for a moment, staring down at his now bare hands, surprised to find them steady despite the whirlwind of emotion twisting him inside.

Turning back to the abandoned bag, he carefully collected the scattered candies and tucked the bag back onto the lowest shelf; where Clark would easily find it should Brandon ask for a treat. He smiled slightly at the mental image of the little boy tugging on Clark's sleeve, pointing up at the bag with a sweet, pleading smile of his own, and ran a finger along the plastic for a brief moment before lifting his hand to the shelf above. Another, too brief moment and he felt his fingers close around the long sought after thermometer. He pulled it out and stared at it for a moment. Thought wistfully of school, phone calls from the nurse and colds picked up from other children, before shaking his head once. Carefully closed the cabinet door and turned towards the soft sound of the voices drifting in from the den.

Had to pause in the doorway and squeeze his eyes shut against the sight of Clark and Brandon seated on the couch, his lover smiling down at the boy and braving the discomfort of Kryptonite-tainted sweat to reach out a hand and brush back sweaty bangs.

This, *this* was why the threat had to be removed. So Brandon could grow up healthy, safe, and surrounded by all the love that Lex knew Clark was just waiting to give. Was already giving, at no thought to the cost to himself. This was what had to be protected.

Forcing a smile back onto his face, Lex cleared his throat and walked to the couch, stopping to crouch down in front of Brandon and handing the thermometer to Clark.

"How are you feeling, Brandon?" Surprise again, that his voice could still sound so soft and sure. Loving. Kind.

An immediate smile that threatened to steal the breath from his lungs and Brandon tilted his head.

"I feel better, Daddy. The pop made my throat stop hurting and Daddy Clark said I could have one more in a little while, before I go to bed again. Can I?" Breath, just keep breathing. And smile.

"Of course you can, Brandon. But just one more and then you have to go right to bed like you promised, okay? Daddy Clark will keep you company while you watch TV, would you like that?" A small frown creased an even smaller face.

"You're not going to watch TV too, Daddy?"

"Lex?" Slowly spoken words, confusion evident in Clark's voice, the thermometer forgotten in his lax hand.

"I have to go to the office for a little while, Brandon, to pick up some very important papers. But then I'll come right home again, okay?" Smile and lie.

"Lex." Exasperation now but thank god, no suspicion.

"Clark, I wouldn't leave if it wasn't important. Will you be alright to stay here with Brandon? You seem more... comfortable near him than you did before."

A long moment in which Clark silently studied his face and Lex fought to keep his breathing slow and steady, his heartbeat regular, before he nodded.

"Yeah, it's getting easier." Another pause and Clark was frowning up at him. "Are you sure you have to go now? It can't wait until tomorrow?" Lex shook his head and bent down to brush a soft kiss across Clark's lips, straightening again before Clark's hands could come to rest against his skin. Before they could touch him.

"No, it really needs to be taken care of tonight. Brandon's due for another dose in about an hour, the medicine is on the nightstand."

"I know where the medicine is, Lex." The frown had deepened on Clark's face and Lex took a step backwards towards the hallway, barely restraining himself from shaking his head and walking too quickly.

"I know, I just wanted to make sure. I'll be back soon, Clark, I promise." Turning on his heel, Lex was almost to the doorway before Clark spoke again, his voice nearly lost beneath the sound of the TV.

"I love you, Lex. Just remember that, okay?" Only iron control kept Lex's voice level as he responded.

"I love you too, Clark. Take care of Brandon and I'll be home soon."

A vague blur of framed photos lining the hallway walls and he was standing in front of the closet by the door. Sharp, jerky movements and the heavy weight of his overcoat settled across his shoulders.

One moment, one moment to breath and let the rage swallow everything, before he was reaching back into the closet, this time to the shelf that lined the top. Hands now steady closed around a cold metal lockbox and silently took it down. The box, and its lethal contents, tucked carefully under his arm, Lex lifted the keys to the Porsche from the rack on the wall and let the door click quietly shut behind him.


End file.
